Bad sign?

[septerra]

My GF have been going out for 7 months.

Last weekend, after two months of not seeing my GF, I was on sitting on the bus with her, and she answered a call from one of her 'sisters.' She said to her: "I'm hanging out with my friend Jake."

I felt completely terrible. How could she not tell her sister that she was with her boyfriend??. After the short phone call, i calmly asked her why didnt she call me her boyfriend. She said because it she hasnt talked to her sister about me since we dated, so it just came out that way.

i didnt want to make it a big deal because it was only 20min into the visit.. but it really made me feel bad. like she doesnt want other people to know?

Now, ive met both of her other sisters previously... but is this a sign that she's ashamed to call me her bf, or could this also be a sign of cheating?

[ThePiedPiper]

Or it could be because she hasn't told them she's in a relationship. Have you discussed this with her? Why she's not willing to talk to them about it yet or if she has a timeline, since they have met you? There are plenty of people on LFAD in relationships with people their parents don't know about or who their parents are under the impression they're "friends." If she hasn't spoken to her sister about you, it's appropriate to ask if she plans on it, but it's also far-fetched to automatically assume she's cheating.

That said, it sounds like she's treated you pretty poorly in general, so it could be that she's simply not interested and sees you as a friend only?

[SeeRat]

i agree with piedpiper.. To add, a girl can share any thing with her sisters in most cases. I dont get it why she has not told her sisters yet. My parents also dont know about my relationship but my sister and even my eldest brother know about him. It can be hard to tell parents but its so easy sharing with the sister.
As piedpiper said you need to talk to her about it why she has not told her sisters or if she has any plan to tell them. But this doesnt mean its a sign of cheating or she is ashamed of you. You should better talk to her she might have a good reason for doing so.

[Tooki]

I would definitely ask your GF about this incident, even if you make it a more general discussion into if her family knows about you and to what extent.

I wouldn't say that she is cheating on you, but she could definitely be hiding you from her family. If anything, she would tell her sister about you before she tells her parents.

[melarie]

I'm going to guess that they aren't that close, since you've met the other two and not her? So it probably hasn't come up. Maybe she's just not the kind of person that tells her whole family as soon as she's in a relationship. And if you guys were together, I doubt she wanted to waste her time with you explaining the whole situation over the phone.

[MattDavies86]

Best to just tell her it bugged you this much, no point letting it stew inside and wondering, always just be honest and talk about what your thinking, talking seriously helps in any situation, especially this one.

[ST25]

Yeah, I'm going to add that it may be possible the relationship with her sister isn't as open or strong as one would think. I didn't have much of a good relationship with my sister either so she never knew until I met up with her again. Otherwise, you can bring up that it is bothering you a bit, but I don't think she meant any harm by that. She was probably just evading.

[Hyacinth]

my family didn't know my SO existed until i got pregnant and my SO and i had already been together for 2 years.

they only knew him by name and i only ever referred to him as a 'friend'.

question, does she tell her friends about you? have you met her friends?

i've never felt the need to talk about my relationships with my family. that's my personal business. but my friends are always in on all details of whom i'm dating etc and they've met him each time he's visited my country. but when he visited, i did tell my family my 'friend' was visiting from London.

in any case, if it made you feel that bad, then you should casually ask why she referred to you as friend and not boyfriend.

[Verojoon]

I would actually confide things in my mom before in my sister a lot of the time... My sister can be a lot more judgmental than my mom... She has a lot of very snobby friends and even though that snobbiness and judgmental attitude of theirs annoys her, she has picked up some of it from them (though at a much lesser degree)...

You never know how the family relationship is like. Why don't you talk to her about her family? Tell her about yours, who knows about her, how they reacted to it, ask her about her sisters, etc. Also, there is nothing wrong with admitting something bothered you more than you originally let on... Just be straight up, and tell her this is still on your mind and it made you wonder... just don't accuse her of anything, because I am 98% sure this is completely innocent... Still, if it bothers you, talk about it. (It's one of those simple things I'm trying to get used to doing!!)

[septerra]

wow.. thank you so much guys.. i like this girl a lot, she's cool. but this is my first relationship, so i tend to freakout sometimes lol

[ThePiedPiper]

I would actually confide things in my mom before in my sister a lot of the time... My sister can be a lot more judgmental than my mom... She has a lot of very snobby friends and even though that snobbiness and judgmental attitude of theirs annoys her, she has picked up some of it from them (though at a much lesser degree)...

You never know how the family relationship is like. Why don't you talk to her about her family? Tell her about yours, who knows about her, how they reacted to it, ask her about her sisters, etc. Also, there is nothing wrong with admitting something bothered you more than you originally let on... Just be straight up, and tell her this is still on your mind and it made you wonder... just don't accuse her of anything, because I am 98% sure this is completely innocent... Still, if it bothers you, talk about it. (It's one of those simple things I'm trying to get used to doing!!)

I do want to add that I agree with this.

It's not fair to give someone advice stating that it's weird she hasn't told her sister(s) because 'it's so much easier to talk to a sibling and your sister(s) is the one person you can count on and come to with anything.' Not everyone, and I would venture to say not even most people, has a Disney channel dynamic between siblings, depending on a lot of factors (age, location, the parents' marital status and potentially who lives with who, etc.). I wouldn't say I would confide in my mother before my sister, as I feel comfortable confiding in both, but my sister has the tendency to decide what she wants to hear and to cut you off when you reach a point of saying something she doesn't, whereas my mother listens to all of it, so I'm a lot more likely to tell my mother some things before my sister. I also believe I told my mother about my relationship before my sister. It was easier to tell my sister, yes, but my mother was the first one to hear about it, before I came out with it to anyone else, so don't assume that everyone has the same family dynamic. If anything, I think the OPer's background posts are more concerning than the fact she doesn't feel comfortable telling her sister yet...