What is this feeling of sadness for?

[Paris]

My bf has been in Italy for almost two weeks now. I have spoken to him twice via FB chat and that is it. He hasn't responded to emails or messages I have sent, but I do know and knew that when he got there communication would be a little hard until he got settled in and got his own place. He should have that in about 2-3 weeks. It's hard because I constantly check my FB and email to see if he has responded or is online. I never had this feeling when he lived close by which was about 3 hrs. Now he is a world away and I feel like I am mourning a break up or something. This is a feeling I did NOT see coming. I will be sitting there and think of him and want to cry. Is this normal?? Am I losing it? It goes away in about 5mins. I will see something like a place we went and I get sad. I know we are still together he is just there and I am here. I have to stop feeling like he is going to forget me. I know that is silly and not true but I still worry and I don't want that feeling. I love him and trust him...I don't want him to know I feel this way either because I don't want him to worry about me and my feelings. I will get over it in time...I hope.

Is this feeling normal? I look at his picture and I get sad which in turns just makes me laugh at how silly I am reacting. He is the best thing that has ever happened to me and my fear of losing him seems to be higher lately. I don't know why I even feel that way, I know it's not true. We talked about this before he left and he told me not to worry and relax that he isn't going anywhere. I know this but still wonder.

Anyone else feel this way in the beginning when their SO left?

[judith]

awwwwwwwwwww....it happens..and its normall belivee meee..sme sme here..i just posted my question and then saw yours...dont worry dear i think its just a matter of time,,,btw ur bf is a sailor???? coz mine too is!!!!!! ....

[NaNi]

I felt the same way. My SO lives on the other side of the world and when I had to fly back home... I felt horrible. For days. Maybe even weeks. I had this pain in my chest and just cried and cried and cried a little more. My SO didn't feel much better either. So yes, it might be quite common. Unfortunately.

[Paris]

Thanks Yes he is in the Navy and lives in Italy now. He will be there for at least 3 years. It seems like forever and feels like forever but I know it isn't. Where is your SO?

[judith]

my SO is in merchant navy,,he's around america now...

[judith]

and we stay countries apart too ....

[Paris]

Awe sorry to hear that I know what you mean though. When I saw him over the 4th weekend and had to come home I cried. I knew that was the last time I would see him until December and it was hard. He didn't see my breakdown because I started as soon as I turned around to walk into the airport. I told him I might cry and I started to but I know it bothers him when I cry so I did it when I turned around I wanted to turn back around and hug him one more time but I knew if I did I would have bawled my eyes out and I didn't want him to see me like that.

I have that same feeling in my chest, it's my heart missing the other half I look forward to seeing him and I know that will be a hard trip for me to return from. I don't think I could not bawl my eyes when I leave this time.

[Rach321]

Yes, sadness that feels like grief is a normal feeling. It won't stay around forever. I find I feel that way immediately after a visit, and sometimes while still visiting when I start to think about being apart. I especially felt it at the beginning of our relationship. Once we got into a routine of seeing each other often and I finally felt like we were solid- that our relationship is going to last a lifetime- that feeling was much briefer. So, I would be really sad the day I left or he left, but after that, I'd get back to life, missing him tremendously, but not feeling that deep sadness.

For me, it came from the uncertainty of it all. Like I was worried it would be the last time I would see him if we broke up. When he left to go overseas 6 months ago, that familiar feeling came back and stuck around for quite awhile. Probably because there was so much uncertainty again. I didn't know how often we'd be able to talk. It took a couple of months until we got back into a routine of talking or emailing nearly every day.

Being in an LDR definitely takes a lot of adjustment. And I can completely understand why you would feel a lot of uncertainty about it. If the feeling's only lasting 5 minutes, it sounds like you're doing a good job of acknowledging that you feel that way and then letting it go. At this point, that is a huge accomplishment! You'll find you experience the sadness less and less until being apart really becomes "normal" and you rarely if ever feel that way even though you miss him.

[judith]

awwwwwwwww,,,,brings tears to my eyessss,,,i know how it feels to just part at the airport...my parting with him happend 2 years ago but i still remebr how much it hurt...can feel d pain now as i write this 2 u...since then we havnt met...but then sumthing just kept us gng on and on...dont worry dear it gets too lonely sumtimess...so much dat u just wanna cry alone...happen 2 me...but belive me true love is really worth waiting for...evreything is gonna be fine..and u can always visit him rite?? ......

[Rach321]

Sorry, I didn't catch that you were long distance before too. But 3 hours and across the ocean is very different... I really wish you the best!

[Rhiavaan]

Sweetie, it is normal. I find myself sad when Sean doesn't reply to something or he doesn't leave me a message. The loneliness gets to us all I am sure. What he did for me, he recorded me a message and sent it so when I get down I can hear his soothing voice and it makes me feel better.

[Silviar]

It's normal. When I went overseas to Japan, the exact same thing happened with my current boyfriend and I. It'll eventually calm down once you get settled into a rhythm, but it's hard, especially if you're used to talking a lot.

[Paris]

I find I feel that way immediately after a visit, and sometimes while still visiting when I start to think about being apart.

That is exactly how I feel. Ok now I don't feel like I am losing it When I saw him earlier this month the last day I was with him I would find myself trying not to cry out of nowhere. I was thinking about how it would be 6mths before I got to wake up with him or just watch a movie with him and it started to upset me. I would look out the window because I didn't want him to see. I feel this way too esp after I see him but I knew I would see him soon enough, now it's a longer time in between visits.

As for the uncertainty that is also how I feel. Since I haven't heard from him, in my mind I worry that he is there and has decided he would rather not have a LDR for the next 3yrs so he is just ignoring me. I know this is NOT true but I still think it at times. I know everything is fine with us but I wonder about how we will go about all of this for 3yrs. I know when I see him in December we will be able to work all that out more. I knew this was gonna happen when I met him and I am fine with it I just didn't think my emotions would come out like this. I don't want him to think I can't handle it and I am crying all the time because I am not. I wonder about all those things and sometimes it gets to be too much to think about all the "what if's."

[Paris]

Awe my bf recorded things on my iPhone for me before I left. He said "baby I love you" and made a kissing sound. LOL I did ask him to say I love you so I could hear it whenever I wanted. He goofed around for a bit too so I kept those recordings cause they make me laugh.

As for emails and messages yea I get upset if he doesn't respond but right now I know he has limited access. I also know he isn't into texting, calling and messages as much as I am I got upset the other day when we were chatting on FB and he just signed off without saying goodbye. I literally started crying lol I called my friend and was fine in a few mins. I messaged him jokingly saying thanks for hanging up on me I haven't heard from him since and I think that is why I am feeling a little upset but I know he is super busy over there. I just remind myself that he is working and has a lot to do and get adjusted to.

[Paris]

I am use to talking to him a few times a week and last month we talked more because he was back home before he left overseas. I also got use to seeing him a lot more because he was here almost every weekend in May. So to go from frequent communication to 2 times in two weeks it's been hard. I know that when he is settled in and able to he will contact me. He always does.

Thanks for the replies everyone. It made me feel a lot better. It's nice to talk to people with the same relationship status who actually understand all the crazy emotions you feel when dating LD.