A story in progress

[Yuis]

The story below is based on my own story, and almost exactly a copy of it. I want to share it with other people, but in an anonymous way. What's different are the locations, the names, the ages and the dates. The rest of the story is all the same as my own. The story leads up to the point at which we are now. I hope you guys can give me some advice about what to do.

Once upon a time, there were a boy and a girl. The girl was called Lara. She lived in Liverpool, England. She was sixteen years old. The guy’s name was Brandon. He lived really far away from the girl. The city he lived in was called Houston, which was located in Texas, USA. He was seventeen years old. On august 28, 2006, they met on the internet. Brandon was still 16 by that time and Lara 15. They immediately fell in love. Really soon they found out that they were made for each other. Their love grew and grew and they couldn’t think of a life without each other anymore. Yet the distance was hurting them a lot. They wanted to be together. But they couldn’t. While Lara’s family was quite open towards her relationship with Brandon, Brandon was part of a conservative family who would never support a relationship with a girl so far away. He had to hide everything from them.
Though, fate appeared to be with them. Brandon’s parents were planning a study trip for him to Antwerp, Belgium. This was the perfect opportunity for this couple to finally meet each other, since Brandon would be there without his parents. Yet, Lara’s parents said she couldn’t go to Belgium and meet him if his parents were unaware of her existence. Therefore, she forced Brandon to tell his parents about her. And he did. Eventually, this caused his dad to cancel his trip, saying he couldn’t pay for it. But Brandon thought it was all because they didn’t want him to meet this scary girl.
Lara was really sad about it. She didn’t know what to do. So much had she hoped to finally meet Brandon. But that dream was now destroyed. Suddenly fate was against them. She loved him so much and she wanted nothing else than be with him. But she would wait for him. She would wait for him forever, no matter what.
Not much later, Lara’s parents allowed her to live on her own by the summer of 2007 already. This would give her the opportunity to go to Brandon really soon after that. Brandon was scared about his family, but still he was excited for her to come to his city. Lara had to do it in secret, but she knew that it was worth it.
But then Brandon started realizing that Lara was distracting him too much. His dream was entering university, but Lara consumed so much of his time that he couldn’t focus on his studies. He made the hard decision to break up with her. But not forever. Once he would have entered university, he would come back to her. That’s what he promised. Crying couldn’t help Lara, his decision was definite. They would have to live their own lives from now on and find a way to be happy without each other. They wouldn’t meet each other for a while.
But three months later he came back. Without thinking, Lara accepted his return. Yet, Brandon didn’t want to be in a relationship with her again. He just wanted to be friends for as long as needed. Once the time was right, they would continue their relationship. For now, they could live their own lives. Still, they were getting closer and closer again and they started having something like an open relationship. Lara and Brandon had a lot of fun with other boys and girls, but of course it hurt them. A girl appeared in Brandon’s life. She was a colleague of his and Brandon was a bit in love with her. Lara wanted to see Brandon happy for as long as they couldn’t be together. She supported Brandon chasing Megan, because she thought Megan would be a good girl for Brandon. Below, a chat session about her:

‘Just go for Megan,’ Lara said. ‘I’ll be jealous as hell, but you should go for her.’
‘I love so much that you support us,’ Brandon replied. ‘But would you really be jealous?’
‘Yes, of course.’
‘Sweet.’
‘If I didn’t, I wouldn’t love you.’
‘You would leave me if we started to date.’
‘Why do you think so?’
‘Because you wouldn’t support it.’
‘I’m doing it right now. I’ve been supporting it from the beginning.’
‘I hope you will.’
‘I will support it, don’t worry.’
‘I am really happy that you want to see us together and such.’
‘Take it easy, Brandon. I’m not saying that I want it, I’m just saying that I kind of wouldn’t mind.’
‘Alright, Lara.’
‘I support it because I trust you.’
‘Very good.’
‘You wouldn’t change me for Megan if she was your girlfriend for, say, a whole year already?’
‘You know I wouldn’t.’

They promised each other that once they were together, they would have more than anyone has ever had before with them. Especially for Lara this was a comfortable thought. Brandon said she could meet him in 2008, and Lara was really happy about that. Nothing happened between Brandon and Megan.
In the end of 2007, Brandon’s family found out that he was talking with Lara again. This, combined with the fact that Brandon really had to do his best this last half a year to be able to enter university, caused him to decide to break up with Lara again. Lara was devastated. But Brandon reassured her that he would never betray her, that they would be together eventually again. Below, their final conversation:

‘I’m so sorry, Lara,’ said Brandon. ‘But this goodbye is not forever. You know that. I will always be with you and I will always come back in the end. You are the love of my life.’
‘You’re the most amazing guy I’ve ever met, Brandon,’ said Lara, crying. ‘I love you, I really do.’
‘I won’t change too much,’ Brandon replied. ‘I promise.’
‘Will you come back?’ asked Lara.
‘I always come back, my love,’ Brandon replied.
‘Don’t betray me, okay?’ asked Lara. ‘Don’t break my heart. I love you more than any other girl ever will.’
‘I won’t,’ answered Brandon. ‘And I know you do.’
‘Can I trust you?’ asked Lara.
‘Of course you can,’ said Brandon.
‘Can I still come and visit you?’ asked Lara.
Brandon had to think. ‘I don’t know,’ he said. ‘If you do, keep it a secret. I don’t want to have something to hide from my parents again. Make it a surprise.’
‘So I will surprise you as soon as I can, okay?’ asked Lara. Brandon agreed. ‘But what if you have a girlfriend by that time?’
‘Probably I won’t have a girlfriend,’ Brandon replied. ‘I won’t have time to date because I need to study.’
‘I hope you won’t have one,’ Lara said. ‘I’d prefer you to kiss a thousand girls instead’.
‘You don’t,’ Brandon answered.
‘I do!’ said Lara. ‘I just don’t want things to be complicated. But would you leave anyone for me?’
‘yes, I would,’ Brandon said. ‘Be careful with guys,’ he continued. ‘They can break your heart.’
‘What do you mean?’ asked Lara.
‘You can fall in love again, sweet,’ answered Brandon. ‘And they can break you.’
‘But you won’t, right?’ said Lara.
‘No,’ said Brandon. ‘I won’t.’
‘Can I really trust you?’ asked Lara.
‘Yes you can,’ replied Brandon. ‘I love you so much, my angel. I will do everything to be with you in the end, I swear.’
‘I love you too,’ said Lara. ‘So much. But are you sure you’re not a douchebag who just says he’ll marry a girl in the end without meaning it?’
‘Of course I am sure, silly,’ said Brandon. ‘Don’t you worry, my love.’
‘Okay, I trust you,’ replied Lara. ‘I really do. Well, if you really want it, I guess it’s time to say goodbye now. I will surprise you with a visit as soon as I can.’
‘Alright,’ said Brandon.
‘I will miss your love,’ said Lara quietly.
‘I will miss your smile,’ said Brandon.
‘I will miss our talks,’ answered Lara.
‘I will miss your eyes,’ said Brandon.
‘Be happy in this new year,’ said Lara. ‘Follow your dreams. I know you can do it. I know you can enter university. I believe in you.’
‘Thank you for your support, angel,’ said Brandon. ‘You mean the world to me.’
‘You mean the universe to me,’ replied Lara.
‘Be strong,’ said Brandon.
‘You too,’ answered Lara.
‘I love you so fucking much,’ said Brandon on his turn.
‘I love you so fucking much too,’ replied Lara.

(continues in 2nd post)

[Yuis]

They gave each other their final virtual kiss. Then Lara ended the call. She was sad. Really sad. She already missed him. But the knowledge of being able to be with him this year was keeping her strong. They had agreed that Lara could visit him as soon as she was able to and that was what she was going to do. She thought the first opportunity would be in half a year. But then she realized that she would have a holiday in two months, which was the perfect opportunity to meet the love of her life. She started talking with a friend of Brandon, Nick. Nick was sure Brandon would love the surprise. Lara started to get more and more excited. She started planning everything. She even booked her flight tickets and her hotel. Her mind was occupied with her trip to Brandon every single day. She was feeling so happy. After such a long time, she would finally meet him! Nick said that she shouldn’t surprise him completely. He said that Brandon needed time to prepare everything, to make a plan. It would be safer to tell him in advance as well because of his family. At first Lara didn’t want to do that, because Brandon asked her to keep it a secret. But after a while Nick could convince her to do it anyway. Just two weeks had passed since they had split up again. Lara decided to call Brandon and tell him this amazing news.
‘Hello?’ asked Brandon.
‘Hey, it’s me,’ said Lara.
‘Oh, you called me before too? Sorry, Megan was here and I didn’t have my phone with me.’
‘Oh… which Megan?’
‘The only Megan I told you about. The one from my work, the one I had a little crush on.’
‘Wow, she is your girlfriend now?’
‘Nope.’
‘Did you kiss her?’
‘Nope. She was just here talking with me.’
‘Okay… Well, I have amazing news for you.’
‘Let me guess, you will come to the USA? Great…’
‘Yes, in one month!’
‘I didn’t want it to happen now.’
‘What? I thought you would be fucking happy!’
‘I’m not, because we never planned this. It would be a surprise!’
‘I had to tell you in advance! You’re not even happy, Brandon…’
‘Yes, because I am pissed with you.’
‘But you will see me in one month!’
‘Yay. Still pissed.’
‘I did so much for this trip! This reaction is so rude!’
‘Because I didn’t want to know about it! Anyway, we shouldn’t be talking.’
‘Okay, I need to sleep anyway. I love you.’
‘Love you too.’
The next day she heard of her friend, who also talks with Brandon, that Brandon really didn’t want to see her. So she decided to call him again.
‘Abby said you really don’t want to see me.’
‘Yes, because I want to grow up to be with you.’
‘But you said I could come as soon as possible.’
‘But you wouldn’t tell me, now you fucked up everything.’
‘But not wanting me to tell you and not wanting me to come at all are two different things…’
‘Yes, but now you already told me, which was really wrong, so now I don’t want you to come at all. I just want to be grown up when we meet!’
‘I’m sorry, Brandon. If I knew, I would have never done it. But you always wanted to meet me.’
‘Not now, Lara, not now!’
‘But I already booked everything.’
‘No one asked you to do that.’
‘Then why did you allow me to come this year?’
‘Because I was an idiot!’
‘We don’t have to be committed after this. We can both live our lives like we used to after this.’
‘Yeah, maybe I will want to live my life without you forever.’
‘Why are you saying that?
‘Because I don’t want you to come!’
‘I would have never booked it if I knew you didn’t want me there!’
‘Okay, great.’
‘It’s not my fault, Brandon.’
‘Okay.’
‘But I’m not saying it’s your fault either.’
‘Great.’
‘I understand you, Brandon. But do you understand me too? I really thought I could come. I thought you would be happy.’
‘Yes, I understand. Anyway, you can come, of course. I will talk to Megan and you can come.’
‘What will you tell her?’
‘The truth, of course.’
‘How far are you with her?’
‘We had our first kiss today.’
‘Okay… well I’m sorry about her.’
‘Okay.’
‘Well we’re not supposed to talk, so I’ll leave you alone now.’
‘Okay, bye.’
‘I love you so much, Brandon.’
‘Love you too.’
Lara was really feeling sick because of this. Was this what she was doing all this for? Was this what she was putting all her money and effort into? Brandon said that she could visit him, but now, suddenly, he made a problem of it. Lara thinks it’s unfair that Brandon is like this. If he really didn’t want her to come, he shouldn’t have said that she should surprise him when she would come. That was contradicting in her eyes.
But a few days later, an e-mail made Lara very happy. Brandon had sent her a schedule he had made. A schedule of things to do together. They would spend a lot of time together. And Brandon apologized for being so rude and grumpy with her when she told him she would come. He said this schedule was the best he could do and that he hoped that she liked it. Lara thought things were okay now, so finally she was happy again.
But a few days later, Brandon’s friend Nick and Lara’s friend Abby, who also talked with Brandon, told her that Brandon had changed. Brandon had started dating Megan, even though he knew that Lara would come. Lara didn’t understand it. Why would you start a relationship with someone else while you know that what you call the love of your life will be with you in one month? Why would you want to make things complicated? When Lara had told him she would visit him, he hadn’t even kissed Megan. And now, knowing that Lara would be with him soon? In her eyes, he was making things complicated. Of course she wanted him to be happy there, but it was a bit strange to start dating someone else at this very moment. He could have waited until after she had visited him, to make things easier. Now Brandon would have to break up with someone, or even cheat on Megan, which Lara really didn’t want. It was obvious in Lara’s eyes that they should be exclusive when she would be with him.
A couple of days later, Nick told Lara that Brandon was really happy with Megan and that he didn’t want to leave her, even though he had just been dating her for less than a week. It was clear, he would do nothing with Lara. Not even a first kiss. Because now he had Megan, and he couldn’t leave her. Lara wondered what it was that made this girl so special to him that Brandon could change Lara for her. The only question she asked herself was ‘why?’. Why would he do this to her? After all the things he had promised her? Would he really break Lara’s heart and betray her when she’d be in America? Would he really stick to someone he hardly knew? Someone he started dating after Lara had told him she would be with him in one month? Were all the promises Brandon made to her worth nothing? Is he that douchebag he assured Lara he wasn’t? Or can he still come to his senses and understand that he’s breaking Lara’s heart completely if he can’t leave Megan for her? Lara thinks he should have never started dating another girl while he knew that she would be with him soon. But that’s his choice. The thing that’s really tearing Lara apart completely, is that Brandon is sticking to that relationship. Because Megan was making him happy. But Brandon allowed Megan to make him happy, he allowed himself to get into this relationship. He didn’t have to, Lara told him well enough in advance that she would visit him. Lara had waited for Brandon for one year and a half, and Megan had never had to wait for him. She could just have him without any effort, and after a few days she was already that important to him that he couldn’t leave her for Lara, the love of his life. He had promised Lara that he would leave anyone for her. He had sworn he would never betray her. He had told her that she could surprise him with a visit as soon as she was able to. But now he’s making his own plans, not caring about Lara’s feelings, saying the things he’s doing are okay because he didn’t want Lara to come anyway. He had even told Nick that he wouldn’t care if Lara was sad if Brandon was dating another girl when she was there, because he himself was happy with Megan. Will Brandon really appear to be a douchebag in the end? Or will he change his mind and understand that Lara is more important to him than Megan? Lara had put so much effort in her relationship with Brandon, and now so much money as well. She really couldn’t understand why Brandon was treating her like that. All of her friends agreed with her, they said that she didn’t deserve a guy who can do something like this to her. But Lara still loved Brandon. Her promises weren’t fake. She just hoped Brandon would come to his senses and choose for the one to whom he meant the universe. Because she loved him. To be continued…

[Moon]

Look, no offense, but this is WAYYYYY too long! If I want to read a book, I will. Try shortening this up a lot, or blog it.

[redapple]

So I had a spare half hour an read this

I think the basic problem you've encountered here is the idea of anyone who hasn't really had a proper relationship promising to "wait for each other". By proper i don't mean to cause offence but its hard to wait for something you've never really had. If you have a search in here you will find lots of young couples like yourself that have never met due to x, y or z. (Usually age or difficult parents.) who have promised to wait for each other because they've found their soulmate etc... I'm sorry to say this scenario pretty much never works out.

Why? Well you may think your connection is strong but it's tough when you're young and waiting indefinitely can seem such an impossible task. And it's easy for other temping options to come along who don't have such complications attached to them. And unfortunately people can make new relationships, the same as if you broke up, there are other people out there that can make you happy. Unfortunately he seems to have found someone.

I agree that his timing is horrific and you have every right to be angry, I'd be pretty furious! But I just wanted to give my toughts on what happened. I don't think you have much to learn from this, unfortunately in life people disappoint you, don't dwell too much on it. You'll find your Megan soon, I'd move on and let it happen. You and Brandon just don't seem meant to be, I know it hurts but sometimes words and promises change in life and you can't always predict that.

[Florann]

I do not think it is too long, I thought it was an interesting read.

It sounds as he has been making promises to you without even considering what those promises meant to you. He might of course, at that time, have intended to honour his promises... but like redapple said, people change. I do think you should follow your own feelings, regardless of what people tell you. I would advice you to let this go though, as the chance of a possible heartbreak for you sounds way too high.

You are the only one that will be able to assess whether to trust him or not though, as of course, we are just going off by the information that you provide us.

[LittleBox]

This just seems ridiculously twisted right from the get go. Personally, I would never trust a guy who tells me he would leave anyone else for me. If he can do that to someone else he could do the same to me. That is a huge red flag and shouldn't even constitute the basis for a potential relationship. Its a shame that you planned the entire trip to have it backfire on you and I doubt his mind would change if you showed up there. I really hope there isn't a "to be continued" I hope you manage to move on past him.

[jennten]

Well, OP is talking about events that happened in 2008 so I'm assuming there's a lot more of this coming. Her stats say that her relationship began in 2011. Maybe this is leading to another guy or something? Just saying, I don't think what she has written so far is what she is asking for advice about.

I am confused, though, that if she was 15 in 2006, how she is only 18 now?

[LittleBox]

What's different are the locations, the names, the ages and the dates. The rest of the story is all the same as my own.

Jennten, I believe its all a jumble! If the ages and dates are different and if she's 18 now this could still have unfolded recently.

[jennten]

Ah, thanks! Lol I didn't catch the dates part, just the names.
In this case, I do very much agree with commasplice's first post.

[ThePiedPiper]

This just seems ridiculously twisted right from the get go. Personally, I would never trust a guy who tells me he would leave anyone else for me. If he can do that to someone else he could do the same to me. That is a huge red flag and shouldn't even constitute the basis for a potential relationship. Its a shame that you planned the entire trip to have it backfire on you and I doubt his mind would change if you showed up there. I really hope there isn't a "to be continued" I hope you manage to move on past him.

I agree with this. I didn't read every single word but I read enough to believe that Brandon is having Lara on for his own entertainment and in the event he ends up lonely and dumped by Megan, at some point. I don't believe he'd leave anyone for Lara. I believe he'll tell her that because that's what Lara wants to hear and it prevents Brandon from ever having to end up alone. Further, Brandon didn't need to flip shit by telling Lara to surprise him by coming and then have her do so only to met with his being "pissed at her." That was completely unwarranted and in my opinion, borderline abusive. Brandon sounds like a royal douchebag who's too scared of being alone to tell Lara how he truly feels and my opinion is even if Lara and Brandon ended up together in the future, Brandon will end up breaking Lara's heart for his own selfish purposes...

[Riyko]

While I read it, it was a bit long I do have to say forget about Brandon and move on as that's clearly what he's done. When you are happy and with someone else and he's miserable and lonely he'll regret what he did to you. Either that or he's messing with you and really doesn't care about you or how you feel.

[blackframez]

I agree with this. I didn't read every single word but I read enough to believe that Brandon is having Lara on for his own entertainment and in the event he ends up lonely and dumped by Megan, at some point. I don't believe he'd leave anyone for Lara. I believe he'll tell her that because that's what Lara wants to hear and it prevents Brandon from ever having to end up alone. Further, Brandon didn't need to flip shit by telling Lara to surprise him by coming and then have her do so only to met with his being "pissed at her." That was completely unwarranted and in my opinion, borderline abusive. Brandon sounds like a royal douchebag who's too scared of being alone to tell Lara how he truly feels and my opinion is even if Lara and Brandon ended up together in the future, Brandon will end up breaking Lara's heart for his own selfish purposes...

This, every part of this x1000. Some people just love being given the chance to treat you like a doormat if you let them!

[Yuis]

Thanks so much for these great replies, that's really helping! And yes, I altered the dates too, but remember, all of this is happening right now! Anyway, the story continues...

Lara has talked with Brandon. Brandon confirmed that he was really happy with Megan and that he wouldn't leave her for Lara. He said that he's in love and that Lara should respect that. He was not Lara's anymore. They would still hang out together when she would come to America, but they wouldn't be together as lovers. Lara told Brandon that she really wanted him to be happy, but not by hurting her this much. She still couldn't understand why Brandon was taking these steps, all the time knowing Lara would be with him. At first Brandon said that he wasn't doing anything wrong, but later he could agree that he broke another promise but that he wouldn't go back and the two of them would have to live with that. He said that if they were meant to be together, the future would tell. But he was getting tired of her now because of all her drama. He said that the fact that Lara came to talk with him several times after their break-up annoyed him and made him mad. He thought it was drama from Lara's part to be really hurt after she's planned and payed for a whole trip to America and then hearing that she wasn't even welcome. She thought anyone would be hurt by something like that, that wasn't drama. Still, Brandon was happy now and that was the most important thing to her. She was betrayed, changed for another girl, but at least Brandon was happy. Brandon felt like this new relationship with Megan could last forever, but don't we all think that in the beginning of a relationship? Lara was sure that once things were over with Megan, Brandon would regret what he did to the girl who cared most about him. But for now, he doesn't seem to be seeing the severity of his actions. Lara was heart-broken, but Brandon wouldn't care, because he himself was happy. He just asked Lara to find her happiness as well.

[ThePiedPiper]

Are we going to get to learn why Lara is convinced Brandon is naive thinking his relationship will last forever with Megan, but Lara's not naive to think, at their age, that she and Brandon are going to last forever? I'd also like to learn why Lara is convinced no one will love Brandon like she does. That's a bit presumptuous. My opinion would still be that Lara needs to take a break from speaking with Brandon and perhaps seek some counselling as well, even if it's merely to talk about the level of betrayal that happened in the relationship (though I do hope this isn't going in the direction of "no one can love you like I can" and she shows up to America anyway with the intention of showing him that...). Regardless, I still think this boy is bad news and whether you are Lara or you know Lara, I think the safest bet would be to get rid of him.

[redapple]

Brandon felt like this new relationship with Megan could last forever, but don't we all think that in the beginning of a relationship? Lara was sure that once things were over with Megan, Brandon would regret what he did to the girl who cared most about him. But for now, he doesn't seem to be seeing the severity of his actions. Lara was heart-broken, but Brandon wouldn't care, because he himself was happy. He just asked Lara to find her happiness as well.

This is not a healthy view to have. The relationship with Megan may well last, every relationship has to start somewhere. And who is anyone to tell other people their relationship won't last. I know Lara feels like they had a special connection that no one else could have and that she loves Brandon more than anyone also ever could but I hate to sound negative and cynical but she sounds young and I think that they have both been living in a romantic world with too many promises. She's needs to move on.