So I think I did something bad...

[Rosebud]

I'm very, very worried about this. Last night in the middle of a conversation with my SO his internet connection cut off (as it's prone to doing). As things were a little iffy yesterday I sent him two texts before I went to bed telling him to sleep well and that I loved him. I didn't get a response back so this morning I was still a little nervous that something was up.

This afternoon he managed to get online for about 5 minutes before his connection went out yet again. He told me the reason he didn't answer his texts was because his dad had it and was switching him over to a different cell. Wouldn't you know it that neither of his parents know about us yet, and of course his dad read the texts I'd sent him.

I'm really really anxious right now. I asked how it went but he barely got to explain anything before he was cut off. And now I can't even text him for fear of messing up again. I feel awful and I'm so worried I got him into trouble or something might happen and he'll be unable to continue speaking with me. I feel so stupid now for sending those texts, I should have just waited

[Rach321]

It's too bad if they found out about your relationships that way. I hope that his parents won't react badly.

But don't feel guilty. You didn't know that this would happen. You were just trying to be a nice girlfriend and wish him a good night.

[judith]

ya dont worry....tell u a funny story..our parents also ddint know abt us for over 7 months...when by mistake my bf lost his cell and sumhow he passed on his number to his mom and he shifted to a new number...but it seems that the all my mushy smses got tranferred 2 her cell coz she tuk his number...it was all a mistake..then his mom cme to know but ddint ask him neything...but sumhow he understood that she had come to know and then he just told her abt us...although we wer upset abt it in the beginning..and he was all shaken by it but then he just told her and his dad abt us...well then we took it in a positive way..maybe it will give u ppl strength to go on..to just go to them and tell them whats cooking...and then i cunt wait...i told my parents some 2 months after this incident...hehe...

[Silviar]

Don't feel too bad about it - they had to find out about you sooner or later. It wasn't like you did it on purpose, either. Is there some sort of situation with his parents that's bad if they find out about you? I understand the need for privacy and waiting to tell parents, but maybe this would be a blessing in disguise?

[LadyMarchHare]

There are worse ways for finding out, so I don't think those two texts are going to incite much more than the typical arguments people get into with their parents over the person being however many miles or countries away. You didn't know so you can't blame yourself, you were only hoping to calm him down. I'd do the same in your position considering the last time my SO's internet got cut in the middle of a storm and conversation he threw his computer at the wall and broke off a side panel.

I think the fear right now is the unknown because you don't know what's going on, what his dad's reaction is/was, and what may be affected by this. But no matter what you'll both find a way around any restrictions that may be set and we all can help you. We're good about being sneaky!

[Rosebud]

Silviar, the reason I'm so nervous is that he told me the last time he spoke with a girl from online on the phone his mother called her up and yelled at her. So I'm very nervous that if he doesn't present me to them in just the right way it can end badly.

It does seem we at least get to continue talking but it's very frustrating as when I attempt to ask him questions about what happened or what kind of questions his dad is asking he gets really quiet and wants to change the subject. He doesn't even want to talk to me anymore when I brought up my coming to visit him and so I'm just...very worried. If I asked too much he sounded frustrated (to which he said he WASN'T frustrated, just that my asking if he was made him so), so I just have to sit back and not know. It's really hurtful and sort of depressing since I feel like I don't know where we stand now when it comes to the more serious stuff like seeing each other.

[LadyMarchHare]

Perhaps asking him what he IS willing to tell you about the situation may be better instead of playing 20 questions. If he gets quiet again tell him it's worrying you and that, because the situation does involve you as much as it does him you have a right to know at least the basics and not be left in the dark.

[Silviar]

I agree with LMH. You deserve to know what happened, and while I understand it upset and worried him, the fact he won't tell you anything + what you said about his family is a bit of a red flag.