Feel totally crushed

[Rapthorne]

Today, the woman I believed for the past year and a half to be my soulmate, the one who's made me a better person, the person who I turned to when ever things got rough to always make me feel better, has totally destroyed what we had.

She's married. For the past year and a half, she's been lying to the face of her husband and me. She was caught out when her husband started playing an online game that we did to pass the time together.

I confronted her about it today, quite gently, and she made me feel like the bad guy and has done a disappearing act from the internet, and her phone is switched off. Her husband revealed to me that she has Compulsive Lying Disorder.

What should I do? This is a woman with whom I made solid future plans. I was in the final stages of totally uprooting my life in England to be with her, I was so completely in love with this woman, and it's all been a lie. It's not like it was a casual relationship either. Some days we'd spend 12 hours solid just talking and joking and laughing and getting along.

I just don't know what to do with myself. I don;t even know why I'm writing this other than somewhere to direct it. I feel utterly betrayed. I'm angry at myself for being so stupid, too.

Has anyone else been in this situation? Can you advise me on where to go or what to do? I'm feeling very lost. I have no close family or friends to rely on, so that's not an option.

[Irina_Linn]

i am really sorry to hear what happened to you.as far as i recall there has been a post here about similar situation,or maybe i am mistaken.nevertheless its really a very hard and painful thing to get over.i dont even know what to write since i can only imagine how you feel and i know my words probably will not help.i can just say that its good you actually found it out finally before making really serious steps like moving to England as it would be much worse.all community is here for you and is ready to talk with you and help you feel better.you aint alone in this and we will support you.you shouldnt be angry with yourself,you had no clue,right?so dont blame yourself.try distracting your mind as much as you can and take time to cool down

[dragonlady]

sorry that this awfull thing happend to you! the pain you must feel..
it hurts and it will take time to get over it, all you can do is move on..
be glad you didn't allready moved before you found out, don't blame yourself!!

bigg hugg! and don't forget to breath dear

[snow_girl]

Be thankful you found out before moving. I know it must be hard, but it's time to pick up the pieces. None of this is your fault, you are not stupid. I would not try to contact her, treat it like a break up and find some friends to hang out with to get your mind off it.

[SeeRat]

So sorry to know you have been through such a big lie. But you should nt feel crushed you gave your maximum to the relation.. She didnt deserve it.. You will get over it with time.

[Kiyama]

What a sad story
But I have to say she's not worh any of your pain. Cut all contact with her forever. She's toxic. And then move on with your life as fast as possible. Thank god you didn't move there and then find out!

[Rapthorne]

Thankfully my mother came to the rescue, which is unlike her.

She phoned me and asked if something was wrong, totally out of the bue, and has said I can stay with her for a few days and clear my head, hopefuly this will give me a few days to process things.

To everyone on this website, I hope you never have to experience the pain I have been through today. Good luck with your lives, and your relationships. I may lurk around here and read up on the success stories, it may restore my faith in things somewhat.

Thank you for your words, everyone.

[LittleBox]

I'm really sorry to hear about what you've been through but least you found out sooner rather than after you made the move. I really wonder how she could have led you on like that Don't fault yourself, you really had no way of knowing. I hope you can gather your thoughts and move on.

[Chris516]

Today, the woman I believed for the past year and a half to be my soulmate, the one who's made me a better person, the person who I turned to when ever things got rough to always make me feel better, has totally destroyed what we had.

She's married. For the past year and a half, she's been lying to the face of her husband and me. She was caught out when her husband started playing an online game that we did to pass the time together.

I confronted her about it today, quite gently, and she made me feel like the bad guy and has done a disappearing act from the internet, and her phone is switched off. Her husband revealed to me that she has Compulsive Lying Disorder.

What should I do? This is a woman with whom I made solid future plans. I was in the final stages of totally uprooting my life in England to be with her, I was so completely in love with this woman, and it's all been a lie. It's not like it was a casual relationship either. Some days we'd spend 12 hours solid just talking and joking and laughing and getting along.

I just don't know what to do with myself. I don;t even know why I'm writing this other than somewhere to direct it. I feel utterly betrayed. I'm angry at myself for being so stupid, too.

Has anyone else been in this situation? Can you advise me on where to go or what to do? I'm feeling very lost. I have no close family or friends to rely on, so that's not an option.

I was in relationship back during the summer between my junior n' senior year(1986) in high school. I started dating someone over that summer. When I first saw where she lived, I should have realized right then, she was going to be trouble.

She and her best friend had a penchant for making crank phone calls. Then I saw the apartment that her father, she, and her two older brothers lived in. It was a mess. After six weeks of dating(I even took her to a Jack Wagner concert), she suddenly called me at 2am, waking up my dad in the process. She had the same best friend that she made the crank calls with, call me to tell me she was breaking up. But by telling me, that her 'true' boyfriend had just been released from the county lockup. I told her friend, I would only believe it when I heard it from her. I heard her crying in the background, saying that it was true. In the late 1990's, I happen to run into her mother. I found out from her mother, that, she had dropped out of high school, only weeks into the school year. She was only a freshman when she dropped out. The point is, to get over my despair, I focused on her faults.