Hey guys,
I havent posted here in a while so i thought i do an update. Lots of things happend these past 2 months and its just been an emotional rollercoaster and still is. So i apologize is this post is all over the place. Im still depressed but i finally put the first step to seek professional help thanks to pressure from school. I started talking again to my parents so i think at home it goes a lil bit better. I still want to move out but becuz im very unstable right now so i wait with that.
Things between me and my SO are not going well at all. He always told me that he never wanted to have a serious relationship until we met. Which i totally agreed too. But in the end we ended up in a relationship anyway but shortly after that he said that he made a mistake. And that im better off without him. He rather wanted to stay friends becuz he thinks we can never be together. He told me he is not worth it to move so far away from my family and friends. I dont speak the language and he is not sure if i would be able to find a job there.
I was devistated and heartbroken. But i could understand him in a way. His parents and my parents didnt like the idea either so we just had a lot of stress on that relationship. We still havent met irl. And i dont even know if that will ever happen. At first he didnt want to meet so that its less painfull to split up. But we didnt wanted to dissapear out of eachothers lives so we just want to be friends and still meet. But he changed so much that i dont know what i want anymore. My heart tells me to stay but my brain tells me to stop talking to him. He always made me feel so happy but now after all this he only makes me feel sad. Im obviously still not over him so its hard to be just friends.
My ex still wants me back and tried to make things better but i have been nothing but mean too him. I dont know why. I dont want to be with anyone right now but its hard to be alone especially when my life is such a mess right now. Oh well thats the update for now. I just needed to get things of my chest.
I havent posted here in a while so i thought i do an update. Lots of things happend these past 2 months and its just been an emotional rollercoaster and still is. So i apologize is this post is all over the place. Im still depressed but i finally put the first step to seek professional help thanks to pressure from school. I started talking again to my parents so i think at home it goes a lil bit better. I still want to move out but becuz im very unstable right now so i wait with that.
Things between me and my SO are not going well at all. He always told me that he never wanted to have a serious relationship until we met. Which i totally agreed too. But in the end we ended up in a relationship anyway but shortly after that he said that he made a mistake. And that im better off without him. He rather wanted to stay friends becuz he thinks we can never be together. He told me he is not worth it to move so far away from my family and friends. I dont speak the language and he is not sure if i would be able to find a job there.
I was devistated and heartbroken. But i could understand him in a way. His parents and my parents didnt like the idea either so we just had a lot of stress on that relationship. We still havent met irl. And i dont even know if that will ever happen. At first he didnt want to meet so that its less painfull to split up. But we didnt wanted to dissapear out of eachothers lives so we just want to be friends and still meet. But he changed so much that i dont know what i want anymore. My heart tells me to stay but my brain tells me to stop talking to him. He always made me feel so happy but now after all this he only makes me feel sad. Im obviously still not over him so its hard to be just friends.
My ex still wants me back and tried to make things better but i have been nothing but mean too him. I dont know why. I dont want to be with anyone right now but its hard to be alone especially when my life is such a mess right now. Oh well thats the update for now. I just needed to get things of my chest.
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