Ex contacts me again

[summerstillhere]

My ex ended our relationship last Sept and he wanted to stay in contact. for the first few weeks its hard for me not to contact him. but since the last 2 months(probably) i started to feel okay without him. and then he emailed me and asking me about random stuff like whats my new year resolutions, whats my weekend plan, how im doing, and he knows im applying for study and everytime he email me he will ask me hows the progress of my study application (because if i got accepted I will live closer to him). The thing is he's the one that dumped me. and when i ignored him, he contact me again and ask me everything. I dont wanna be 'friends' with him he hurts me and he showed me that he gave up too easy.

Recently he emailed me and he told me he's been busy with work, went out with his friends and drink till 3am and he get less sleep. he said he missed his bed and warm blanket and wanna cuddle under blanket. I replied very briefly but he keep asking me things to keep the conversations going and he asked me whats my plan for weekend. i dont know what to tell him i just said im going to buy a camera. and he ask me to text him about the camera when i bought it.

should I reply him? (honestly I'm still confused with my own feelings for him, im still mad and frustrated with him).
and i wonder why he still contact me?? why he care about my study application progress?

[bethyylovee]

Well it sounds like he definitely regrets dumping you. But if it were me I would keep contact to a minimum, or maybe not at all. Don't let him know you're hurting. And if you got back together with him, what if he leaves you again and then again decides to contact you. It could turn into a vicious cycle.

[summerstillhere]

THanks bethyylovee for your comment.Yea that what I am scared of. if he want me and leave me. I dont know the reason of why he dumped me and contact me again. and I didn't reply him since he asked me to tell him what I bought. I'm gonna wait till he text me again and I'll see if I should ignore him

[ThePiedPiper]

This sounds like a situation where you'd be better off telling him you don't feel you can be friends right now and still need time to heal. This sounds like it's drifted into the realm of game playing. :/

[Malaga]

I'm always skeptical towards these kind of situations. I've seen it too many times when the person who ended the relationship contacted their ex a few weeks/months later simply because they felt lonely/insecure and they needed an ego fix, so what better way than to try to get back with the person who might still have feelings for them. Then after awhile the grass starts looking greener on the other side of the fence again. All I'm saying is be careful, don't let his sweet words and lots of attention mess with your feelings.

If you're not comfortable talking to him, just tell him that. You don't owe him anything.

[dragonlady]

i would tell him to go @@#$$ himself, he dumped you and hurt you
i maybe hard and blunt but move on, lose him your better off without him

[Irina_Linn]

tell him straight away you dont like speaking to him.he dumped you and now you have all rights to remain silent.i dont think you should communicatw with the person

[summerstillhere]

thanks ThePiedPiper for your comment. I'm not really sure if he's playing game or whatever in his mind. but im glad that day by day i started to forget him. deep down i want him to send me texts or emails so i can ignore him and make him feel like how i felt when he did that to me before he broke up with me

[summerstillhere]

I'm always skeptical towards these kind of situations. I've seen it too many times when the person who ended the relationship contacted their ex a few weeks/months later simply because they felt lonely/insecure and they needed an ego fix, so what better way than to try to get back with the person who might still have feelings for them. Then after awhile the grass starts looking greener on the other side of the fence again. All I'm saying is be careful, don't let his sweet words and lots of attention mess with your feelings.

If you're not comfortable talking to him, just tell him that. You don't owe him anything.

Thanks Malaga for your comment. yea sure I will be careful because he already showed me how easy for him to gv up on me. I'll see what happen next.

[summerstillhere]

i would tell him to go @@#$$ himself, he dumped you and hurt you
i maybe hard and blunt but move on, lose him your better off without him

Thanks DragonLady. Yes you maybe right on that too. and yep I moved on (mybe still hv anger feeling inside me)

[summerstillhere]

tell him straight away you dont like speaking to him.he dumped you and now you have all rights to remain silent.i dont think you should communicatw with the person

Thanks Irina. Yea I didnt really contact him for weeks. only replied short reply when he emailed me. but we dont constantly in touch.gosh he acted like nothing happened. hate it

[ThePiedPiper]

thanks ThePiedPiper for your comment. I'm not really sure if he's playing game or whatever in his mind. but im glad that day by day i started to forget him. deep down i want him to send me texts or emails so i can ignore him and make him feel like how i felt when he did that to me before he broke up with me

I meant game playing from both of your ends. I feel like he's contacting you because he's feeling lonely, as Malaga said, and you're playing games by having him continue to text you so you can ignore/be short with him and "make him feel like you felt." Whether you look at it from his perspective or yours, the wrong action is being taken and the situation is being handled inappropriately and in a way that's only going to create more negative feelings. Trust me, you're not going to feel any better after seeking revenge on him than you do now. The fact that you still hold anger towards the situation and feel the need to play this game at all shows that you aren't ready to be talking with him, and quite frankly, I think you need to be upfront and say you're not yet ready to have a friendship with him, versus sitting around and playing this game of "well I'm going to make sure he gets his."

[summerstillhere]

I meant game playing from both of your ends. I feel like he's contacting you because he's feeling lonely, as Malaga said, and you're playing games by having him continue to text you so you can ignore/be short with him and "make him feel like you felt." Whether you look at it from his perspective or yours, the wrong action is being taken and the situation is being handled inappropriately and in a way that's only going to create more negative feelings. Trust me, you're not going to feel any better after seeking revenge on him than you do now. The fact that you still hold anger towards the situation and feel the need to play this game at all shows that you aren't ready to be talking with him, and quite frankly, I think you need to be upfront and say you're not yet ready to have a friendship with him, versus sitting around and playing this game of "well I'm going to make sure he gets his."

So you mean I should totally ignore him? I wanna tell him that I never agree being friends after the break up but I know I will just bring back the old fight and that will make me sad again.

[ThePiedPiper]

So you mean I should totally ignore him? I wanna tell him that I never agree being friends after the break up but I know I will just bring back the old fight and that will make me sad again.

I think you should tell him you still need time to heal and you can't be friends like you thought you could be and then ignore him.

[summerstillhere]

I think you should tell him you still need time to heal and you can't be friends like you thought you could be and then ignore him.

For now I think I will ignore him.
thanks a lot for your replies