Jealousy or just dislike maybe?

[Jellybean]

Im curious whether anyone on here gets jealous often of the people around their SO? maybe one of their closest friends ex's they still talk to etc?

Im not sure whether im jealous or just dislike Si's girl best friend...or if its a mixture of both maybe? lol it's just anytime shes mentioned it puts my mood down, I get a weird feeling and it takes a while for it to go...or if I see her on his Facebook or something then I get annoyed lol it seems really stupid because im not normally a jealous person and I dont want to dislike his closest friend, but her personallity annoys me and how she is and how she does things...its so different from me. However I dont think she has an issue with me so it makes me feel worse about everything lol im just curious if anyone else has been or is going through anything like this?

[NaNi]

I get jealous too. Or I used to. Especially when it came to her ex-boyfriend, even if she doesn't call him like that. They don't even see each other really, but when they do... I used to get really uncomfortable. Which only caused tensions between us. But I do try to control my jealousy more. Sometimes it's just hard. Especially with the distance. It just gets to me that even her ex-boyfriend could see her more often than I can.
There was also this weird girl. She kinda had a crush on my girlfriend. She used to stalk her Facebook and leave comments which made us both feel really uncomfortable. I got jealous there too. But I think it's normal to get jealous sometimes. It's probably not healthy, but yeah...

[LadyMarchHare]

I've... actually never had the problem, which is weird because I'm sure I should have been jealous of his best friend back when they were friends. She'd known him more closely than I for years even though we'd both known him the same amount of years. She was older than him so it wasn't like he'd have been robbing the cradle by knowing her or saying anything. She'd had a bad experience with an ex (up and abandoned her one day) so she turned to him for strength and ended up having a crush on him. He tried having a relationship with her (a LDR since she lived in Utah) but he found she was changing who she was to suit him instead of being herself and letting him like her for her. In that time, he told me, she'd seen him naked and a multitude of other things and even after he broke away from her to stop her from thinking it was going to go into anything serious, she threw herself at him every day, even in front of me when we had group chats on AIM but that was before we were dating. After we began dating and she found out she got upset thinking I was going to wring her neck for all this. Why the crap should I care what happened BEFORE me? I knew about her flirting still, I didn't care because he made it clear she was nothing he wanted and he treated her like a sister.

I've also been told of a time one of his gay friends came over drunk and tried getting into his pants (he's bisexual and has been with men before so it's not like it would be totally impossible) and a multitude of times girls have flirted with him in public. He's talked about a few of his exes in passing if it relates to what we're talking about, which is fine with me. I just don't care. I'm not so insecure that I believe he'd even entertain the thought of cheating or eying one of these people just because. It's never crossed my mind. When I hear about these incidents I'm more interested in what he did to make them choke on their libido than anything. It's funny because I'm otherwise insanely possessive of him. I know the few times I've had guys come on to me he flips out.

[Jellybean]

I never have this problem either normally lol I know about his ex's and he's had some weirdo stalker girl recently but I just thought that was kinda funny xD however this girl is just different...Im not sure if its because their close and share alot, get on really well etc but it just bugs me >.< im not scared he'll end up with her because she's not his type appearance wise lol which he has said to me a few times before...but I just dont like that, other then appearance, theres not much difference between my relationship with him and his relationship with her.

[LadyMarchHare]

From what you described initially it sounds more like you have problems with her as a person and it's only made worse by the fact she's a friend of his. And what do you mean by "other than appearance"? Do you mean the physical one, as in if it weren't for how she looked she'd be in your spot, or did you mean something else?

[PatricksGirl]

Yup, there's this one girl that my SO was having a...I guess "fling" with. Me and my SO have known each other for two years, but have been dating for about a year. When we were just friends there was this girl that he really had a crush on for a couple years. They've had intimate moments together in the past (although she's always had a boyfriend, which just makes me distrust her even more). He says he doesn't think of her in that way anymore and that they're just really good friends now, and I believe him...but it's just hard for me to trust her. Every time he talks about her it kind of gets me down. Some of it is jealousy, because they have such a history together, but also it just worries me that she might try and do something with him. She obviously doesn't have any qualms about cheating, so what's to stop her from trying to influence him to cheat on me? (Though I know he never would.)

[Jellybean]

From what you described initially it sounds more like you have problems with her as a person and it's only made worse by the fact she's a friend of his. And what do you mean by "other than appearance"? Do you mean the physical one, as in if it weren't for how she looked she'd be in your spot, or did you mean something else?

Yeah physical appearance lol and I dont think she'd replace me because their more suited to being friends, knew each other a while before he knew me and our relationship sort of started out as being weird friends when we first spoke xD ...so I guess it is just a general dislike of her

[Riyko]

One of his brothers female friends from Venezuela, she's a really nice girl but I don't like the fact that she talks to him in spanish and is really sweet to him all the time it really bothers me. I know my guy doesn't like her and he thinks she's annoying so there is no chance of anything happening there, but it makes me feel really depressed when she's at his apartment or he hangs out with her =/.

[LadyMarchHare]

Yeah physical appearance lol and I dont think she'd replace me because their more suited to being friends, knew each other a while before he knew me and our relationship sort of started out as being weird friends when we first spoke xD ...so I guess it is just a general dislike of her

That's a tad shallow to me, letting looks be a major factor. You say she's different from you and I suppose you meant personality-wise mostly so I'd like to think it's more how you act and carry yourself than your face or whatnot. I may be reading into that more than necessary, sorry.

If she acts in a way that puts you off you don't need to like her just because she's friends with your SO, just be polite. If she starts something, kill her with kindness. Complain about her to friends if you don't want to hurt his feelings. Do they live in the same city or is this an online friendship? If it's the former I'd just be worried about not smacking her upside the head when you visit him.

[Jellybean]

lol we are both very diffeent in looks and personality...shes like Si but female...and I dont like that so much in a girl xD
And no they don't live in the same city...she lives further up north then him, which im very thankful for lol if they lived in the same city id be much worse I think. However I did get annoyed when he said he might go up to where she lives for a day and go see a film with her or something...the only reason it annoyed me was because he decided that so easily and yet whenever I say about him coming here it gets all difficult >.< lol

[LadyMarchHare]

Well I can see where he's coming from. I assume she's closer than you are to him in terms of physical distance and you did say they were friends before you two met. Plus, it's less stressful emotionally to travel any distance to see a friend as opposed to any distance to see a lover. You have less to fuss over especially if it would be the first meeting.

[Caitlin2009]

oh yeah i get jelous of the people that get to see and spend time with Denise when i havent yet, i think that will change though

[Puramu]

Well I would get a little jealous, only my SO isn't very social and barely has any female friends. He's starting college next fall and I must say I am a tad territorial, even though he tells me there's nothing to worry about and no one can compare to me and blaa blaa. And he assures me that no girl probably wouldn't want him, but that can't be completely true, I mean I want him But no, I have no reason to be jealous as of now..

[ErinKristine]

There's a female my SO went to school with and trained with for a few months and during their training they became friends and they will text each other and she will post on his facebook. It used to get to me a lot because the first year we were together there was never really any females he interacted with and I would get really jealous any time I saw her post on his facebook or if we were together and he received a text from her. I just didn't like the idea that he was texting another female. I talked to him about it a couple times and now I'm more comfortable with it because I think if anything were to happen between the two of the it would have happened when they were training, now they are states away from each other. I also just don't feel comfortable with her as a person, my guy said she doesn't having a shining record when it comes to guys so when they were training together I would think about if she would try to "put the moves on him" or her sending him sexual texts.
I also get a twinge of jealousy whenever he mentions working with a female or even just a small interaction with a female like at a store.

[Rhiavaan]

He is going to university in the fall. I know I'll be jealous as all get out even though he tells me I'm his perfect woman. That still doesn't kill the jealousy, I mean, his dreamy eyes and all those gals around him? C'mon.