Crazy in love. How to be sure about him?

[princessv2012]

My guy and I are over 50, in fact he is exactly 1 day older than me. Very exciting. We're like twins in the way we think and the things we like. We have a lot of fun together and I know he really likes me. We met online two months ago and he has already flown from MI to see me in CA.

As soon as we began talking we discussed the possibility of his moving here or us moving together in Canada--not making serious plans but just talking. We've been through a lot in these 2 months, his son was killed a a week or so before Christmas in a robbery.

Since we saw each other 2 weeks ago, he is no longer discussing future plans, though we still talk everyday. Also, the conversations seem flat. He still wants to continue to talk and see me. But I sometimes have doubts that things will continue to move forward. I know we haven't been talking for that long, but I feel the need to define this relationship. He hasn't mentioned the GF word since we saw each other. Is this too much too soon? Is this normal?

[Sarah77]

Hi!

I'm so sorry for what happened. He's probably suffering right now and because of what happened you should just be there for him. It hasn't been long so I wouldn't worry too much about it. Just give him time and stay close to him as much as you can. Once he's moved on it will probably be better.
What he needs now is someone close to him. Even though it isn't physically possible, do all you can to make him see that.

[garnet]

I agree. I have to believe that he is still deeply in the grieving process. It has probably impacted every single bit of his world. I would be patient with him. Be there for him as you can, or give him space if he needs it. I bet he will come around as he begins to get used to his new normal.

[Moon]

He's been through a lot, and the full impact may only just be hitting him. I don't think right now would be a good time to define your relationship, give him a few months at least before bringing it up. Don't worry that he hasn't discussed the future in two weeks, as nice as it is, he might be getting a little bored of the topic for now. I think, especially under the circumstances, try taking it a little slower and just be there for him, your relationship will grow in time, try not to over-analyze it and you'll be OK.

[LittleBox]

He's probably still coping with loss of his son and can't completely bring himself to be happy so soon after a tragedy (which includes making plans with you for the future). Don't take it personally. Just be there for him as best you can and give him some breathing room.