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    I can't believe he treated me like this :(

    Hi guys, i need some help (i'm sorry its gonna be a long post)

    We have been talkin for about 7 months.
    We like each other and everythings goin fine so far.
    I live in Indonesia, and he lives in California. Haven't met in person.
    We have a riddiculous time different, my timezone is about 13 hours ahead him.

    He has a nice personality, he always cheer me up and makes me smile and laugh. He gonna visit me this year, if im ready to.
    I really like him. I do. And i never been like this before.

    So.
    Yesterday. Friday, 1st February my timezone and Thursday 31st january his timezone, we had a nice conversation. It was like usual, sweet and fun.
    Till he told me that he gotta start a job this saturday, which is 2nd February and which is my brithday (He has a big gift that he gonna send to me, and i really can't wait to get it soon).
    I said its cool, he got a job and its great.
    Then he asked if we could have a nice skype session in, i'm not really sure when he means to do this skype thing. But i told him, sure we could go on skype at that moment.
    But he said that he couldn't do that at that moment, he got a headache because of hungover and tired, he just hung out with his buddies all day.
    Umm, i said okay, its okay. But i prolly couldn't skype with him this saturday and the next few days.
    Idk why suddenly i felt like a bit sad. Knowing that he might be so real busy the next few days, and we wouldn't be able to skype because i couldn't skype with him then.
    I said to him that i want him for my bday, he said he wanted it too.
    I said it many times to him, that i wanna be with him on my bday. And he knows that i was a bit sad, and he tried to cheer me up and all sweet. We ended up the convo when he said he wanted to go to sleep, he still said a lot of those sweet goodnight, and i just said "just sleep. I'm okay" i was cryin.

    Today.
    Saturday 2nd February, my timezone. Friday 1st February his timezone.
    Its my birthday.
    I got some gifts and surprise and bday cakes from my fam and friends. Awesome. I'm happy.
    But i decided to just stayin at home and just be alone and just talkin to him today. Right after the midnight suprise, i'm waitin for him to hit me up and call me.
    I was waitin till dawn, he didn't IM me, text me or call me.
    I thought he might be still sleepin. So its okay, i'll keep on waitin.
    I was waitin till morning, i got nothing, i didn't hear anything from him. Usualy he always send me a goodnight and good morning IM however busy his day is.
    So at 10am i sent him an email askin where he is. No response.
    I kept on waitin.
    an hour later i sent him an IM, asking the same thing and told him that i'm waitin for him.
    A half hour later he replied " hey babe, how are you today?'
    I said " Tired. Didn't sleep at all last night, waitin for you to hit me on up and call me. I wanna be with you"
    An hour later he replied " I'm sorry, i woke up and left. And just got home a lil bit ago. I hope you are not bummed"
    I said " I'm not bummed, i just dissaponted"
    He replied " I'm sorry. But i don't understand why you dissaponted. And i don't wanna make you dissapointed"
    I said that i've been waitin for him all night, but he wasn't there with me. And probably he wouldn't ever talk to me if i didn't talk to him first.
    Well, he used to gimme a silent treatment whenever he mad at me or he felt theres something wrong with us, and i used to be the one who always talk to him first and tried to make things all good again.Then he would be all great and sweet and caring again, like nothings wrong ever happened before.

    An hour later (again) he replied " I'm sorry beb, i don't wanna make you bummed or dissaponted. And i only want you too. I don't understand why you are dissaponted"
    I replied " No, you don't want me. You never"
    He replied " I really wish you wouldn't say stuff like that"
    I said " But i feel like i'm just the only one who really want this all and really want you. And i'm not sure that you do too as well"
    Then he didn't reply.

    2 Hours later.
    I'm still waitin for his reply.
    Then i sent another IM asking him if he was sleeping. No response
    A half hour later, i called him. No answer.
    I really upset, and it literally tearin me up.
    I sent him an IM, i said " Well, i called you but you didn't answer.I 'm sure you know what day is it for me today. And i told you yesterday that i just wanna be with you. I just stayin at home an not hang out with anybody else, because i wanna be with you. But Where are you? you weren't there with me and it seems like i kinda waitin for nothin. Thank you " I was cryin.
    He replied " I'm sorry i'm not at my home rght now. I don't want to make you bummed and dissapointed and all of those thing "
    I was like wth, couple hours ago he said that he just got home. I really bummed and startin to feelin hurt.
    I said " I told you yesterday, you know it. I can't believe you're kiddin me like this"

    An hour later he replied " Im home now and pretty tired. I hope you have a great day"
    Omg. I'm speechless. It really hurtin me. He didn't even say happy bday to me, it just like he doesn't ever know that its my bday. And it feels like he doesn't care bout it.
    I called him twice, no answer.
    And last thing i said on IM is " Geez. is it all you can do?" and no reply.

    I can't believe it guys. Idk why he's turned out bein like this.
    I just wanna be with him in my bday, even its just chattin or talk on the phone. But what i just got? is it too much?
    Idk whats goin on here.
    What should i do guys?
    Last edited by glasspaper; February 2, 2013, 04:19 AM.

    #2
    I don't know, personally I feel you went a little OTT. Did you get anything from him for your birthday? Message or card or anything? I agree that's its nice to hear from your SO on your birthday. But then you hadn't really made any set plans to speak from your post other than you saying you really want to and him saying he was going to be busy. waiting around and not going out with your friends wasn't really a good choice when you knew he was working and you hadn't made plans.

    I think he didn't go it to annoy you or upset you it just sounds like he was busy. In the future I'd say definately go out with your friends and family and arrange times that you both can talk to avoid this happening again. Don't wait around for people, it always makes you sad!

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by redapple View Post
      I don't know, personally I feel you went a little OTT. Did you get anything from him for your birthday? Message or card or anything? I agree that's its nice to hear from your SO on your birthday. But then you hadn't really made any set plans to speak from your post other than you saying you really want to and him saying he was going to be busy. waiting around and not going out with your friends wasn't really a good choice when you knew he was working and you hadn't made plans.

      I think he didn't go it to annoy you or upset you it just sounds like he was busy. In the future I'd say definately go out with your friends and family and arrange times that you both can talk to avoid this happening again. Don't wait around for people, it always makes you sad!
      I agree with this. If it was his first day of work, I can understand that he's going to be a bit distracted and a bit strapped for time. And I know it sucks that that happened on your birthday, but if he didn't know you were expecting him to call at midnight, I would cut him a break. Some guys and gals don't think of things like that, I know my SO wouldn't call me at midnight on my birthday unless I brought it up first.

      I'm sorry this has all made for a glum birthday, but I think you need to be more straightforward with him about how you're feeling. I think telling him you doubt he'd talk to you if you didn't initiate, and saying that he doesn't want you, is not going to help. That's just adding unnecessary drama and kind of makes it hard to communicate to him what he did to upset you. Just be direct and clear with your expectations, and maybe a bit in advance if it means that much to you.


      Love will not betray you, dismay or enslave you, it will set you free

      Met: Cork, Ireland - December 31, 2009 • Started Dating: Cork, Ireland - May 22, 2010 • Became LD: July 15, 2010 • My Move From Canada to UK: October 26, 2011
      Closed the distance June 18, 2012!

      Comment


        #4
        I agree a bit with kteire, but I also have to say that I've been where you're at as well. My bf is in London n I'm in Chicago and it is a 6 hour time difference. Of course I know it doesn't match to yours but I know how it feels to have that big gap in time. If say yeah he could have been distracted and busy with work but you also have to see from another perspective. I don't want to be a pessimist and say that he did it on purpose, but I feel that it was uneccesary for him to be like that with you. He still should have replied or messaged you no matter what, just like how you said that he would still message you no matter how busy he was. So I don't see an excuse as to why this was appropriate now. I also don't like how he acted as though nothing was wrong with you, it's as though he didn't care. But like I said I don't want to be a pessimist. I think your best option is to have a serious talk with him and tell him how you feel.

        Comment


          #5
          I disagree with the idea that he should have been there "no matter what," but that's possibly because I've been in your boyfriend's position? I have been in a situation where I have come home from school and had around 30 minutes before I had to go work. Some of that time was spent debriefing, and some of that time was spent on my own, watching TV or reading, with my ex's IM window up but not really chatting. Although I can understand where he's (and subsquently, you) coming from, the fact of the matter is was that there were days I was too exhausted to care about his misunderstanding why I needed that time to debrief. Though my work might have effected him and our relationship, that doesn't mean it was about my ex and our relationship. It took me around a month before we got settled into a routine where things started "working" again, and I very much appreciate the fact that my ex was patient with me for that month. My guess is you should be patient with your SO, too. Yes, it would have been nice had he said happy birthday, and it's possible it would have bothered me too, but I remember I had to prod my ex one year about it being my birthday before he said happy birthday to me. Sometimes people aren't good with remembering birthdays or knowing how to handle birthdays and it has little to do with how much they care. It sounds like he's already sent you a gift; maybe he feels he's already acknowledged it enough, especially when he was going to be working on your birthday.

          Secondly, you never told him you were going to be waiting up for him. Saying "I want to be with you" says absolutely nothing about the fact you plan to sit there and wait for him to show up and get angry and disappointed when he doesn't. How can he disappoint you over plans you never made together or that you never even communicated? Had you both decided that he would make some time to show up and Skype with you, then that would be one thing, but in this case it sounds like you hinted at wanting him there and took him saying he wishes (or wants) to be with you too as a promise that he would be. You can't hold it against him that he didn't show up when you didn't explicitly ask him to or when you both didn't explicitly plan on it. :/ I saw a lot of areas in your post where you either weren't being entirely honest or where you got inconsolable based on something he said etc. Saying things like "it's okay, go to bed" when it isn't and then getting upset when he feels it is or continuing to tell him how disappointed you are after he's clearly stated he doesn't want to disappoint you... That's not communicating with your partner. One is getting disappointed at him for not reading your mind and the other is continuing to tell him how much he hurt you without any real intention except to make him feel bad and possibly reassure you. Sometimes all we need to get reassure is to ask for it. Don't sit there saying, "I'm disappointed because it feels like you don't want me cause I always do this... and you never do that..." Directly say, "can you tell me you love me?" or "I'm feeling really insecure right now and I know I shouldn't, but I really need some reassurance right now." People tend to think it's tainted when it's asked for, but all I can say is it's going to cause less strain on the relationship when people are honest about needing it.

          Third, while I don't agree with the silent treatment under any circumstance, at least from this conversation, it sounds like he gets backed into a corner. Imagine that the roles were reversed. "You really hurt me, glasspaper." "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I love you." "I feel like you don't want to be with me. You don't ever want to get on Skype when I do (made-up example here )." "I was tired the other day. I'm sorry. I love you. I do want to be with you." "I'm just really hurt and disappointed with you." etc. Eventually the conversation gets to a point where you're backed into a corner. There's nothing you can do. Your partner isn't offering any solutions, they aren't accepting your apology, so you have two options: either you listen to them continue to not offer an opportunity to present a solution and rehash what you did that was upsetting, and feel like crud in the process, or you retreat. It sounds like your SO retreated. While I'm not saying that retreating is the right choice, I am saying that maybe he's having a hard time with your communicatory style because it sounds like you want to really drive home the point of how hurt or disappointed you are, and you have to understand that it's hurtful. Sometimes people don't need that point driven home. Sometimes people need to hear it once and be given an opportunity to fix it and if they aren't sure how or don't follow through, given a solution. It seems like you're pushing him for some right thing to say or for some right thing to do and like he has absolutely no clue what he's expected to do, so he stops responding until he can figure it out or at least until he can handle what could come across as your guilt trips. If you want to talk about an issue, that's fine, but you need to be okay with saying how you felt once and then working with him to coming to a solution. You're going to find that you'll get the silent treatment a lot if you like to keep pushing how upset and hurt you were. No one likes to hear it, especially when they're not given the opportunity to come to a solution with you. I think you might find he's more willing to communicate when you actually open the door to communicating with him.

          Comment


            #6
            too much,too much!you called and texted him way too much.i am sorry your birthday was a bit weid coz of what happened,but he didnt actually promise he comes online for certain hours,so you basically cant blame him.plus new job is always exciting so probably he was expecting you to be a bit more supportive about it.just drop the hints (guys are slow at getting them lol),dont use drama effects (aka "is it all you can do") and try to reduce how often you text and call.i am sure he cares deeply so dont panic,most important is that he loves you

            Comment


              #7
              He probably didn't do it intentionally and he kept saying over and over again that he didn't understand why you were disappointed. I have a feeling being tired from his day at work he couldn't clearly wrap his head around things and it slipped his mind. You didn't directly tell him you were upset because he didn't wish you happy birthday. Try being forthcoming with him rather than dropping hints. Hopefully you'll straighten everything out
              “The ties that binds us are sometimes impossible to explain. They connect us even after it seems like the ties should be broken. Some bonds defy distance and time and logic; Because some ties are simply… meant to be.” - Grey’s Anatomy


              >Little Box<



              Comment


                #8
                I don't think he did anything wrong. He forgot your birthday and then you were passive aggressive about it. Talk about it directly.

                Comment


                  #9
                  I agree with everyone. U were completely passive aggressive with him. The first thing my bf told when we started dating was that guys are dumb sometimes and you have to spell things out for them. They can't read minds. So if I'm upset about something to tell him and we will fix it. Next time something like this happens tell him why you are upset. Don't pussyfoot around it.
                  "You want for myself
                  You get me like no one else
                  I am beautiful with you

                  I am beautiful with you
                  Even in the darkest part of me
                  I am beautiful with you
                  Make it feel the way it's supposed to be
                  You're here with me
                  Just show me this and I'll believe
                  I am beautiful with you"

                  -Halestorm

                  Comment


                    #10
                    The one thing I've learned being with my SO is that he can't read my mind. I'm learning that I can't be the one to get pissy at him, for something that I never asked him to do in the first place! So what do I do instead? I ask him. I don't expect him to do anything, I ask him to do it. Why? Because god only knows whats on his mind, and it's probably not those dishes in the sink or laundry.

                    So, start talking and be direct with your words. I know it can be difficult to ask things of people, but sometimes you need to.

                    Comment


                      #11
                      Hi all.
                      Thanks for all of your opinions and advices. I really appreciate it. You're all are great, guys

                      First of all.
                      He wasn't working yet that day, guys. It was stil friday in California,
                      and he gonna start his job on saturday. He's such a freelancer, so
                      he doesn't work everyday. And what he's doing most of the time
                      are sleeping for about 10-12 hours each day, then woke up, then
                      go to the skatepark and skate around or just hang out with his
                      friends, get some drinks and buzzed and drunk, and back to home
                      at evening, workin for about 2-3 hours, and go to sleep. Always like
                      that everyday if he doesn't have a "real" job to do.
                      Why am i so upset when i didn't hear anything from him that day?
                      First, because he always talk to me every single days, at least to
                      says good morning when he wakes up and a goodnight before he

                      go to sleep. And when he's workin and busy, he keeps texts me
                      just to say hi. Every single day.

                      Second, if theres a day he doesn't talk to me at all, so it's
                      obviously that something goes wrong, usualy he got mad at me.
                      And what happened that day is : that's my birthday, still friday in
                      his timezone, and he didn't start the work stuff yet. And we had a
                      normal communication a day before. But he didn't talk to me at all.

                      Originally posted by redapple View Post
                      I don't know, personally I feel you went
                      a little OTT. Did you get anything from him for your birthday?
                      Message or card or anything? I agree that's its nice to hear from
                      your SO on your birthday. But then you hadn't really made any set
                      plans to speak from your post other than you saying you really
                      want to and him saying he was going to be busy. waiting around
                      and not going out with your friends wasn't really a good choice
                      when you knew he was working and you hadn't made plans.
                      He got a gift for me, but he didn't send yet, and he gonna send it to
                      me a couple days later. He wasn't working that day, redapple. I
                      knew it because he said that he gonna work on saturday, and it
                      was still friday there.

                      Originally posted by redapple View Post
                      I think he didn't go it to annoy you or
                      upset you it just sounds like he was busy. In the future I'd say
                      definately go out with your friends and family and arrange times
                      that you both can talk to avoid this happening again. Don't wait
                      around for people, it always makes you sad!
                      Yeah he was busy, but usualy he would still texts me at least
                      once on his busy day. And i got nothing that day. I just had a
                      suspicious thought that he might be mad at me. Because i didn't
                      say a goodnight when he went to sleep, maybe?
                      Thank youu redapple

                      Originally posted by kteire View Post
                      I agree with this. If it was his first day of work, I can understand that he's going to be a bit distracted and a bit strapped for time. And I know it sucks that that happened on your birthday, but if he didn't know you were expecting him to call at midnight, I would cut him a break. Some guys and gals don't think of things like that, I know my SO wouldn't call me at midnight on my birthday unless I brought it up first.

                      I'm sorry this has all made for a glum birthday, but I think you need to be more straightforward with him about how you're feeling. I think telling him you doubt he'd talk to you if you didn't initiate, and saying that he doesn't want you, is not going to help. That's just adding unnecessary drama and kind of makes it hard to communicate to him what he did to upset you. Just be direct and clear with your expectations, and maybe a bit in advance if it means that much to you.
                      It wasn't his work day, kteire. It seems like just one of the most day when he just went out and hung ut with his buddies or skated and buzzed and all. And i think it wasn't a hard thing to say a lil happy bday to me, if he wanna of course. But he didn't
                      I just had a strange feeling that there's might be something went wrong that cause him to stop to talk to me that day, just felt like unusual.
                      Then i was starting all bummed, i was very exhausted these last couple weeks and tired of my work stuff. And i feel like i got mad so easily. And yeah i want him to be with me and it kinda made me sad and all. My bad.
                      I realized it wasn't a good way to communicate. I feel bad of it and i tried to talk to him sent him a texts say i'm sorry. I hope he'll back and we could talk about it soon.
                      Thanks for you advice kteire

                      Originally posted by Melinahasan26 View Post
                      I agree a bit with kteire, but I also
                      have to say that I've been where you're at as well. My bf is in
                      London n I'm in Chicago and it is a 6 hour time difference. Of
                      course I know it doesn't match to yours but I know how it feels to
                      have that big gap in time. If say yeah he could have been
                      distracted and busy with work but you also have to see from
                      another perspective. I don't want to be a pessimist and say that he
                      did it on purpose, but I feel that it was uneccesary for him to be
                      like that with you. He still should have replied or messaged you no
                      matter what, just like how you said that he would still message
                      you no matter how busy he was. So I don't see an excuse as to
                      why this was appropriate now. I also don't like how he acted as
                      though nothing was wrong with you, it's as though he didn't care.
                      But like I said I don't want to be a pessimist. I think your best
                      option is to have a serious talk with him and tell him how you
                      feel.
                      This is nearly the same thing on my mind. I don't mind if he
                      couldn't talk to me all day, because i have a job and kinda busy
                      too. And when he or me were busy, we would still texts each other
                      at least once a day. And we're okay with it. But that day, it seems
                      like he didn't act like he usualy do normaly.
                      I hope we could have a serious talk bout it, and fix things out soon.
                      Thank youuu Melinahasan

                      Comment


                        #12
                        Originally posted by ThePiedPiper View Post
                        I disagree with the idea that he should have been there "no matter what," but that's possibly because I've been in your boyfriend's position? I have been in a situation where I have come home from school and had around 30 minutes before I had to go work. Some of that time was spent debriefing, and some of that time was spent on my own, watching TV or reading, with my ex's IM window up but not really chatting. Although I can understand where he's (and subsquently, you) coming from, the fact of the matter is was that there were days I was too exhausted to care about his misunderstanding why I needed that time to debrief. Though my work might have effected him and our relationship, that doesn't mean it was about my ex and our relationship. It took me around a month before we got settled into a routine where things started "working" again, and I very much appreciate the fact that my ex was patient with me for that month. My guess is you should be patient with your SO, too. Yes, it would have been nice had he said happy birthday, and it's possible it would have bothered me too, but I remember I had to prod my ex one year about it being my birthday before he said happy birthday to me. Sometimes people aren't good with remembering birthdays or knowing how to handle birthdays and it has little to do with how much they care. It sounds like he's already sent you a gift; maybe he feels he's already acknowledged it enough, especially when he was going to be working on your birthday.
                        I knew that he wasn't working that day, ThePiedPiper. It's because he told me that he gonna start the job on saturday, not that friday. I would understand if he was working that day. And when he or me were busy, we would still texts each other at least once a day. And we're okay with it.
                        I do agree with you that i should be patient with him, and havin him these last couple of months before the birthday is the thing that i should be grateful more it all.

                        Originally posted by ThePiedPiper View Post
                        Secondly, you never told him you were going to be waiting up for him. Saying "I want to be with you" says absolutely nothing about the fact you plan to sit there and wait for him to show up and get angry and disappointed when he doesn't. How can he disappoint you over plans you never made together or that you never even communicated? Had you both decided that he would make some time to show up and Skype with you, then that would be one thing, but in this case it sounds like you hinted at wanting him there and took him saying he wishes (or wants) to be with you too as a promise that he would be. You can't hold it against him that he didn't show up when you didn't explicitly ask him to or when you both didn't explicitly plan on it. :/ I saw a lot of areas in your post where you either weren't being entirely honest or where you got inconsolable based on something he said etc. Saying things like "it's okay, go to bed" when it isn't and then getting upset when he feels it is or continuing to tell him how disappointed you are after he's clearly stated he doesn't want to disappoint you... That's not communicating with your partner. One is getting disappointed at him for not reading your mind and the other is continuing to tell him how much he hurt you without any real intention except to make him feel bad and possibly reassure you. Sometimes all we need to get reassure is to ask for it. Don't sit there saying, "I'm disappointed because it feels like you don't want me cause I always do this... and you never do that..." Directly say, "can you tell me you love me?" or "I'm feeling really insecure right now and I know I shouldn't, but I really need some reassurance right now." People tend to think it's tainted when it's asked for, but all I can say is it's going to cause less strain on the relationship when people are honest about needing it.
                        This is the things that i realized was my fault. And i have a feeling that the reason why he didn't talk to me at all its because all of those things i said that you've mentioned above. Thank you, it strengthen my feeling that he might be mad at me, prolly because of what i said.

                        Originally posted by ThePiedPiper View Post
                        Third, while I don't agree with the silent treatment under any circumstance, at least from this conversation, it sounds like he gets backed into a corner. Imagine that the roles were reversed. "You really hurt me, glasspaper." "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to. I love you." "I feel like you don't want to be with me. You don't ever want to get on Skype when I do (made-up example here )." "I was tired the other day. I'm sorry. I love you. I do want to be with you." "I'm just really hurt and disappointed with you." etc. Eventually the conversation gets to a point where you're backed into a corner. There's nothing you can do. Your partner isn't offering any solutions, they aren't accepting your apology, so you have two options: either you listen to them continue to not offer an opportunity to present a solution and rehash what you did that was upsetting, and feel like crud in the process, or you retreat. It sounds like your SO retreated. While I'm not saying that retreating is the right choice, I am saying that maybe he's having a hard time with your communicatory style because it sounds like you want to really drive home the point of how hurt or disappointed you are, and you have to understand that it's hurtful. Sometimes people don't need that point driven home. Sometimes people need to hear it once and be given an opportunity to fix it and if they aren't sure how or don't follow through, given a solution. It seems like you're pushing him for some right thing to say or for some right thing to do and like he has absolutely no clue what he's expected to do, so he stops responding until he can figure it out or at least until he can handle what could come across as your guilt trips. If you want to talk about an issue, that's fine, but you need to be okay with saying how you felt once and then working with him to coming to a solution. You're going to find that you'll get the silent treatment a lot if you like to keep pushing how upset and hurt you were. No one likes to hear it, especially when they're not given the opportunity to come to a solution with you. I think you might find he's more willing to communicate when you actually open the door to communicating with him.
                        Whoa. You pointing it :P hehe. And you're just right and i can relate all of those things you said above. He replied my texts in the next morning, it was to answer my last text asking " is it all you can do? " and he replied with the witty text of "!?!?!?!?!?!?".
                        lol. and said " im gonna go to work, soooo no".
                        I'm kinda tired that time, and went back to sleep right after i got that texts.
                        When i woke up i sent him a texts say i'm sorry about all of those messages and calls. Well, i was sort of really exhausted these last couple of weeks, and got lack of sleep and all. So i thought i didn't in a really good condition. and i took some drugs, to be honest. And i was all anxious and agressive.
                        And he didn't reply.
                        Then yesterday, i still feel bad. He used to keep reminds me to eat or sleep and all when i was really busy with my job and couldn't talk to him that much.
                        So, i sent another IM say a goodnight. No reply.
                        Now i thought he really gimme a cold shoulder. Silent treatment, again.
                        But, the good things to know is he still come online when he woke up, and at the time when i woke up, and the time before he go to bed. We're using whatsapp so i could see his last login.
                        And he seems like still tryin to communicatin with me on the IM status. He post some stat, and it's obviously for me. And from those stat he seems like tryin to says that he's tired of all of this, maybe.
                        It's funny tho, because i think it's not a good way of communication. But at least he didn't all dissapear like he used to before when gimme a silent treatment.
                        Thank you ThePiedPiper, your devices are great. Thank you so much

                        Originally posted by Irina_Linn View Post
                        too much,too much!you called and texted him way too much.i am sorry your birthday was a bit weid coz of what happened,but he didnt actually promise he comes online for certain hours,so you basically cant blame him.plus new job is always exciting so probably he was expecting you to be a bit more supportive about it.just drop the hints (guys are slow at getting them lol),dont use drama effects (aka "is it all you can do") and try to reduce how often you text and call.i am sure he cares deeply so dont panic,most important is that he loves you
                        Yeaaaaah . It was too much, i realized it Irina. And yeah i got a silly texts reply from him responding that "is it all you can do?" drama. lol. And now i got a cold shoulder. hmm.
                        I didn't text and call him that much, it was just on that day.
                        Thank youuu irina, i'll try to not panic and take it easier

                        Originally posted by commasplice View Post
                        He probably didn't do it intentionally and he kept saying over and over again that he didn't understand why you were disappointed. I have a feeling being tired from his day at work he couldn't clearly wrap his head around things and it slipped his mind. You didn't directly tell him you were upset because he didn't wish you happy birthday. Try being forthcoming with him rather than dropping hints. Hopefully you'll straighten everything out
                        Not really sure of his intention, commasplice. I just got a lil feeling that he got mad at me over something. So he stop talking to me and all. I'l try to talk about it again, calmy when he hit me up someday, he seems like need some space right now.
                        Thank yaaa commasplice

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                          #13
                          Originally posted by digitalfever View Post
                          I don't think he did anything wrong. He forgot your birthday and then you were passive aggressive about it. Talk about it directly.
                          Well, i agree that i was being passive agressive. And yes i did. But i don't think that he forgot my birthday, because we had a good conversation a day before my bday, and he was the one who reminds me about my bday. And then he suddenly didn't talk t me at all after that last convo.
                          I'll try to talk about it, more directly. I'm just waitin for him to hit me up again. Thank youuu digitalfever

                          Originally posted by rubydissolution View Post
                          I agree with everyone. U were completely passive aggressive with him. The first thing my bf told when we started dating was that guys are dumb sometimes and you have to spell things out for them. They can't read minds. So if I'm upset about something to tell him and we will fix it. Next time something like this happens tell him why you are upset. Don't pussyfoot around it.
                          Yeah, i was passive agresive, rubydissolution. True that, they can't read minds. I'm more calm right now, i guess. I just had some exhauting days a while back ago. I hope we could talk about it and try to fix it too, soon. But he gimme a silent treatment right now. And i don't wanna bother his space with any texts or call till he back from his shell and hit me on up.
                          Thank you rubydissolution

                          Originally posted by Zapookie View Post
                          The one thing I've learned being with my SO is that he can't read my mind. I'm learning that I can't be the one to get pissy at him, for something that I never asked him to do in the first place! So what do I do instead? I ask him. I don't expect him to do anything, I ask him to do it. Why? Because god only knows whats on his mind, and it's probably not those dishes in the sink or laundry.

                          So, start talking and be direct with your words. I know it can be difficult to ask things of people, but sometimes you need to.
                          I agree with what you've said above. I tried to talk to him, sent him a texts sayin i'm sorry for all i did on my bday that might be annoying him. And i tried to texts him a goodnight. But he didn't reply.
                          Maybe he needs some space, and i'm tryin to deal with it and just leave him alone for a while till he back to me. It's kind of a cold shoulder ish. But yeah
                          Thanks for your advice Zapookie

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