Saying i love you??!!

[kailuasweetpea]

Hi everyone, i was hoping for some advice and support. My SO and I are long distance, he is deployed. We have never met in person. We met through a mutual friend who suggested we were just "right" for each other and she seems right so far. We are really happy and having him in my life has literally made me a much happier and better person in so many way. That being said...we have gone months without a disagreement or fight and i was kinda beginning to wonder if we were perfect LOL...but today we had our first one boooo...we recovered pretty well with a few tears shed on my part and some apologies and promises to do better next time something came up that we didnt see eye to eye on. Heres where my question comes in...I think it took feeling that overwhelming hurt in my heart that happened when we faught to realize that over the last several months while i knew my feelings for him were changing and becoming stronger. I do believe I have fallen in love with him. The reason why i guess im so unsure is because, i truly done know if ive ever been in love before and i dont know exactly how i should know if this is the real thing. Sadly i am 32...and have had many relationships and was even married before and since meeting my current SO have come to realize that nothing i ever felt prior to this can compare. SOOOOO all that to ask you....can i tell him? Should i? will it ruin/change things? should i wait until we have been in person? is it possible to truly fall in love with someone whos face youve never touched? Im so confused. Everytime we talk i feel like its spilling over and i just want to say it but im dealthy afraid to scare him away or that maybe he'll think im moving to quickly. I have never been the first to say i love you. I have only said it to two men in my life and like i said, i now question if i really knew what i was saying or if i was just giving the reply i knew was expected.

PLEASE help me to know if i should, and if i should...how do you tell someone something that important when your not face to face....

Thank you guys!

[Jasmine30]

I feel exactly the same, I feel like every relationship I had was just nothing compared to the way I feel now.
I knew before I met my SO that I loved him, and he didn't too. Both of us waited until we met to say it. So many times i nearly said it and had to keep quiet, now we say it all the time and it always gives me goosebumps and makes me smile
It's completely up to you, but I'm glad we waited until we said it in person because for me, it made the moment so special and I will remember it forever x

[Mims27]

I think you should say I love you when YOU are ready but you have to be prepare in case your SO doesn't say it back right away. Doesn't mean he doesn't love you, just means he may not be ready at the same time. My SO told me when she was ready and it was amazing but I didn't say it back until a little later. She respected that and didn't push me to say it back right away. I was going through a lot then and wasn't ready and she was super understanding. If you are ready and you truly love this person, then go for it. Oh and we didn't wait until we were in person. She sent me a cute little video. I still smile like a crazy person just thinking about it.

[kayla_622]

My SO and I haven't told each other that we love each other. I'm ready to say it but I have reasons for waiting but if you think you're ready then go for it but don't be disappointed or upset if he doesn't say it back right away. I personally think it should be said in person the first time but if its going to be a long time before you two even see each other then try to do it over skype or the phone.

[kailuasweetpea]

I really like the idea of waiting until we are in person too! the problem with that is it will probably be another 4-5 months before that happens...i guess i need to think about it. I really like the idea of sending a little video like Mims said if i decide I cant wait thank you for the feedback...its soooo nice to have others who know EXACTLY what your feelin and trying to figure out! <3

[Zapookie]

The first time I wanted to say it, I told my SO "I think I love you," and he was all "shhhhhhhhhshshshsshsh, don't say that yet. we need to meet first." So 2 months after we met, I said it. I think it was better that I waited. I know the feeling of being overwhelmed with emotion, but to me, it was much more special in person.

[lademoiselle]

My SO said he loved me before we met in person. He wrote it in a letter which he sent through the post. I was so touched by that, I wouldn't have had him tell me any other way

[elina]

Didn't read all the comments so I'm sorry if I'm repeating someone else

I think it's possible to fall in love without having met the other person. Feels like I did, at least. Me and my SO wanted to wait until we were together in person to say it, because we didn't just want to type/read it for the first time. I'm so glad we waited, because it felt soooo good to hear him say it for the first time, to my face ♥ Even though we knew the feelings were there even before we met. Before that, we'd say anything but "I love you", like "I ♥ you" and "I've fallen for you" etc., basically saying it but not the actual words haha It was our little thing and it was cute

If there's no way you can wait until you meet, just say it (but don't be too disappointed if he doesn't say it back.. I probably would've been). Leaving it for when you're face to face is just my opinion