Hello LDR community! I just joined this forum upon finding it less than an hour ago but it was somewhat of an urgent matter that brought me here. I will try to not go into much detail but I have been in a relationship for 6 months now that has been long distance from the beginning. The origins of our relationship are rather complicated but we have always had a strong attraction to each other over the course of the 2 and a half years we have known each other. We have dated off an on a couple times previously over the last few years with out success because of issues that I will say weren't due to a lack of not wanting to be together. This is essentially our third attempt at making it work and I feel like some people reading this will probably think we are crazy for still trying after our past history but I assure you that this time it was very different and things were so much better. The problem we have this time is that we are now currently living quite far apart because she has been and is currently doing a year long apprenticeship in Kentucky. I am back in New Jersey finishing my last semester of college now so we should both be done with our respective things in May and therefore will probably be together again.
We have just come to a problem however that I hope I can get some help with on here but part of me fears that this fight has already been lost. Our problem is that we do not have good means to communicate with each other (it has gotten worse since mid-December. (Side-note: our relationship started up after she had alread moved out there for her work so the most time we have spent together was when she was home for the holidays). She moved to a new housing location in mid-December that does not have internet or cell phone service nearby. The only internet she has access to is usually when she is at work but she can't spend much time talking to me online because after all she is supposed to be working. She can (usually) text message me from her housing spot but sometimes even that can be spotty. We have only really been able to talk on the phone once a week when she has the time to drive somewhere for signal, which is usually on her days off.
So to summarize over the last month we haven't seen each other in person because we had been waiting on one of us being able to arrange a visit. Yesterday she sent me a text however saying that she felt like this long distance relationship wasn't working out. We just got off the phone tonight talking about it more which essentially was me just trying to convince her that we should have talked about this sooner and that we shouldn't just call it quits without trying to figure out ways to stay better connected. I admit that if I had spoken up sooner that it probably could have been worked out a bit easier (or at least an attempt). I think we would both agree that it feels like we are barely apart of each others lives currently and the sort of spark between us has faded. At the moment it seems she thinks that she doesn't have that drive anymore to even try to improve things and make it work. I think I can understand where she is coming from but I also believe (and it seems more strongly than she does), that we can figure out little ways to make our relationship work until may, if we just try. I think she might not feel like wanting to try because we it has been so long since we have had any real good deep connection. I somewhat suggested that what if I came to visit really soon because we both know that every time we are together in person, things between us re-ignite. If we could get that back and then put some new ideas to work than I think we could keep our relationship going.
At this point I don't know if she will even want to give it a shot anymore but in the case that we try to make it work, I have been brainstorming and searching for ideas. I have a short list going of things started we can do "together" when we are apart which currently includes watching movies together, keeping a journal together that we can mail back and forth to each other and write in for a few weeks. Most normal suggestions I have read online though won't really work for us because of the lack of means of communication. The one thing I want to ask her is if there is a place where she can talk on the phone in a comfortable private environment as opposed to sitting in her car when she gets signal. The movie watching idea usually entails internet or something but I figured that I can just mail her a bunch of movies and then we can both work our way through them.
Sorry for the essay here but I am looking for any advice or additional suggestions of things we could do to feel more connected and have things to relate on while we are so distant. Thanks so much for reading all this, I really don't want to lose her again.
We have just come to a problem however that I hope I can get some help with on here but part of me fears that this fight has already been lost. Our problem is that we do not have good means to communicate with each other (it has gotten worse since mid-December. (Side-note: our relationship started up after she had alread moved out there for her work so the most time we have spent together was when she was home for the holidays). She moved to a new housing location in mid-December that does not have internet or cell phone service nearby. The only internet she has access to is usually when she is at work but she can't spend much time talking to me online because after all she is supposed to be working. She can (usually) text message me from her housing spot but sometimes even that can be spotty. We have only really been able to talk on the phone once a week when she has the time to drive somewhere for signal, which is usually on her days off.
So to summarize over the last month we haven't seen each other in person because we had been waiting on one of us being able to arrange a visit. Yesterday she sent me a text however saying that she felt like this long distance relationship wasn't working out. We just got off the phone tonight talking about it more which essentially was me just trying to convince her that we should have talked about this sooner and that we shouldn't just call it quits without trying to figure out ways to stay better connected. I admit that if I had spoken up sooner that it probably could have been worked out a bit easier (or at least an attempt). I think we would both agree that it feels like we are barely apart of each others lives currently and the sort of spark between us has faded. At the moment it seems she thinks that she doesn't have that drive anymore to even try to improve things and make it work. I think I can understand where she is coming from but I also believe (and it seems more strongly than she does), that we can figure out little ways to make our relationship work until may, if we just try. I think she might not feel like wanting to try because we it has been so long since we have had any real good deep connection. I somewhat suggested that what if I came to visit really soon because we both know that every time we are together in person, things between us re-ignite. If we could get that back and then put some new ideas to work than I think we could keep our relationship going.
At this point I don't know if she will even want to give it a shot anymore but in the case that we try to make it work, I have been brainstorming and searching for ideas. I have a short list going of things started we can do "together" when we are apart which currently includes watching movies together, keeping a journal together that we can mail back and forth to each other and write in for a few weeks. Most normal suggestions I have read online though won't really work for us because of the lack of means of communication. The one thing I want to ask her is if there is a place where she can talk on the phone in a comfortable private environment as opposed to sitting in her car when she gets signal. The movie watching idea usually entails internet or something but I figured that I can just mail her a bunch of movies and then we can both work our way through them.
Sorry for the essay here but I am looking for any advice or additional suggestions of things we could do to feel more connected and have things to relate on while we are so distant. Thanks so much for reading all this, I really don't want to lose her again.
secondly, it doesn't matter how many times you've given this a shot, if you both want it to happen it can. Sometimes the timing isn't really right or circumstances can make things tricky as you've discovered in your previous attempts.
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