Well, It's gonna be over

[glasspaper]

Hey guys.
It's been 3 days i didn't hear anything from him.
So i think it's time for me to get over him.

I posted a thread about what happened with us earlier.
I still feelin hurt when i remember what he was doin and sayin to me on my bday.
I just still don't get it why he dissapeared on that day and didnt wish me happy birthday even tho i had remind him that it was my bday.
But he didn't say anythin about it, and it seems like he didn't care at all.
And to be honest, i couldn't accept any reason he told me on his texts that day.
He just said sorry because he was outside and not at home. Just that.
I knew that he didn't busy, he wasn't working that day.
And he still could replied my IM, but he didnt say anything about my birthday.
And when i mentioned it, he acted like there's nothing wrong with him and anything.
And i could see him still come online, and still have a time to post a stat. That i'm sure it was for me.

I posted a stat with ":' )".
And he post a stat with a dart hitting the target on dartboard pic. (hm?)

I remember the last text he sent to me was just like "!?!?!?!?!?" and it seems like he's jokin me around.

I feel bad of how i did to him, just kinda think it was way too much for me to messages and called him like that.
So i sent a texts say a sorry for all i did to him ( messages him a lot and called him on my bday to say that i wanna be with him and all) he didn't reply.
But he post a status instead.
The status was "And round and round round we go".
Not really sure what it means, but i have a feeling that it was for me and about us.
And i didn't say anything on my status, but i sent him another text next day said a goodnight. And he still didn't reply.
I'm give up.

He used to be talking to me every day, every single day.
Even when im not around.
He used to reminds me to eat or sleep and all.
But he didn't talk to me on that day. On my bday that he obviously knew.
I feel like he did it on purpose, not really sure what his purpose tho.
But from those status he made and from all of those texts he replied to me and from the fact that he didn't talk to me at all till i talked to him first on my bday, i'm pretty sure that he was tryin to do something to me.

I think i have a solid reason to be upset.
Because to me it's a big deal to be around and wish a happy bday to someone close, at least to say a word that telling we're remember about it.
And i think it was a piece of cake for him to just say that, because he wasn't busy, and he knew it was my bday cuz we had a nice conversation a day before and he was the one who reminds me about my bday.
But on the actual day, BOOM! he dissapear.

Guys, i guess i couldn't take it anymore.
He really confusing me. And manipulative, i guess.
I think i just gonna move on, and tryin to get him outta my life now.
It's gonna be hard for a while, tho. I know.
But i think it would be worth more than i just staying with someone who doesn't really care about me.

Thanks for all of you guys who gave me your opinions and advice on here (especialy for they're who replied my previous thread)
And told me which part i was doing wrong to him that day, i had say a sorry about it to him, and its all because of you guys makes me realize that i had to.
Good luck for you and your SO, guys.
Hope you all always happy

[ThePiedPiper]

I thought you said he started work on your birthday? That said, it might be for the best. It sounds like neither of you are really communicating with each other directly, so that might be something you both need to work out within yourselves before you pursue a relationship with each other or with someone else. It's never going to work with anyone if you can't take it off FB (and by posting hidden messages on FB, you only start over-analysing every status that's posted), so I hope that that's something that improves with your next partner/relationship. I'm sorry to hear that he dropped off the face of the earth, though... Maybe give him some time and see what happens? Don't text, don't call, don't IM. Let him come to you. If you both decide it's still worth it, I think your communication from both ends is the first thing I'd address. No more posting statuses to communicate, no more dropping hints, but learning to explicitly and directly communicate with each other.

[glasspaper]

I thought you said he started work on your birthday? That said, it might be for the best. It sounds like neither of you are really communicating with each other directly, so that might be something you both need to work out within yourselves before you pursue a relationship with each other or with someone else. It's never going to work with anyone if you can't take it off FB (and by posting hidden messages on FB, you only start over-analysing every status that's posted), so I hope that that's something that improves with your next partner/relationship. I'm sorry to hear that he dropped off the face of the earth, though... Maybe give him some time and see what happens? Don't text, don't call, don't IM. Let him come to you. If you both decide it's still worth it, I think your communication from both ends is the first thing I'd address. No more posting statuses to communicate, no more dropping hints, but learning to explicitly and directly communicate with each other.

Hey ThePiedPiper.
I'm kind of somewhat give up
I didn't on FB, i know he doesn't like it when i deactived my FB. But i'm not on there.
The status was on whatsapp, and i know he using whatsapp just to talk to me.
So i know those all obviously for me.
I still wanna try tho, piedpiper.
But i feelin hurt, i couldn't deny it.
He's on his cave, i guess. And i guess i need some time too.
So. Yes ThePiedPiper. I won't contact him, i wont texts him or im him or anything.
But i don't wanna hope he'll be back. I just don't wanna think about that.
Because it makes me even wanting him more and more.

So, i just wanna move on with my life.
Don't know what would happens, but yeah i prepare for the worst
Thank you ThePiedPiper for all of your great advices

[charly]

Have to agree with ThePiedPiper here, seems like the two of you need to actually talk together, dropping hints is not going to work. I wouldn't wait till he messages you though. Send him a clear message; write down how you feel, and why, not just being al vague and angry. To be honest it sounds to me like he didn't really had a clue, and you went all angry on him... you apologized, but from what you tell here it seems like he still doesn't have a clue. Hopefully you can get past this

[Irina_Linn]

does he even know how you feel? it just seems all drama and break-up thing is coming from your end.its okay people may speak less or even disappear.at times my SO doesnt communicate with me whole day but that doesnt mean i have to break up with him.LDR is not all easy and cheesy with text messages every hour.its also about being mature and patient.

[Tooki]

You need to tell him how you feel. I don't think that you have done that, even though you may think that you have.

[glasspaper]

Have to agree with ThePiedPiper here, seems like the two of you need to actually talk together, dropping hints is not going to work. I wouldn't wait till he messages you though. Send him a clear message; write down how you feel, and why, not just being al vague and angry. To be honest it sounds to me like he didn't really had a clue, and you went all angry on him... you apologized, but from what you tell here it seems like he still doesn't have a clue. Hopefully you can get past this

Hi charly, thanks for your opinion
I do feel that we had some communication issues, and i really do wanna talk about it and fix things out. I tried to sent him texts, tried to talk. But he just didn't reply anything. I don't wanna bother him and pushed him away to talk and all anymore. I'm kinda tired to do it over and over again, tbh.
I would like to just wait till he back and talk to me.
But i don't wanna put any hope that he'll back, charly.

[glasspaper]

does he even know how you feel? it just seems all drama and break-up thing is coming from your end.its okay people may speak less or even disappear.at times my SO doesnt communicate with me whole day but that doesnt mean i have to break up with him.LDR is not all easy and cheesy with text messages every hour.its also about being mature and patient.

Irinaaaaa
Not really sure if he knows and understand it. But i have told him about all the thing i do feel.
Well, i didn't break up anything.
I didn't say anything to him, the last thing i said just a nice goodnight type thing, like we usualy did.
And he still on silent.
I just stop to contact him, no text no im and all.
And just see what would be happens, but i don't pursue anything, no more.
So, we officialy didn't break up yet. But i just tried to make myself get over him, irina

[glasspaper]

You need to tell him how you feel. I don't think that you have done that, even though you may think that you have.

Hi tooki, i've told him about what i feel. Although in a pretty emotional way.
I wanna talk to him again, and talk about it. But he seems like didn't wanna talk to me.
He's kinda gimme a cold shoulder

[Tooki]

All good.

If I were you, I would give him an ultimatum. Tell him how you feel, what you want and that you won't wait for him to start replying.

[glasspaper]

All good.

If I were you, I would give him an ultimatum. Tell him how you feel, what you want and that you won't wait for him to start replying.

I was thinking about it, and i was gonna send him an email, i don't care if its gonna be a long email, but i wanna told him anything, detail about what happened with us and how i feel and all.
But then i was doubtful to do that, i just kind of still kinda feel bummed. And just afraid he would reply it with non cooperative way.
So now i just waitin, for him to talk to me.
I really wanna talk about it, tho. Really tooki. But yeah, idk if he still wanna talk to me or no.

[ThePiedPiper]

I would wait still before sending an e-mail like that. Between this post and your last post, you two have dropped so many hints, used Facebook/WhatsApp as a platform communication etc. that I think you both need some time to cool down. Even if you apologised for how you responded, you apologised for responding the same way you did when you apologised, i.e. very emotionally. There's nothing wrong with being emotional, but where it becomes an issue is where you're continuously pelting him with how horrible he made you feel and giving him no opportunity for a solution, and emotionality has its place in a relationship. As much as I hate to say it, it's not necessarily in the communication part. Communication can't be all about theatrics and expecting him to understand that, say, "it's my birthday. I wish I could spend it with you" means he's supposed to be there at midnight when you're waiting. Relationships simply don't work that way. What if I told you "communicate. You know what you did wrong" in response to your posts? It wouldn't be very helpful. Communicating with your partner is much the same way! You need to state things explicitly and rationally and you need to do your best not to go into a more dramatic display of tears and "why aren't you talking to me? How could you hurt me like this?!" etc. He is, after all, only human. He can't read your mind. And you can't sit there saying that all the statuses were obviously for you. Perhaps they were, but on the same hand, you were the one who posted :'( and started it to begin with. You're both adult enough, I'm assuming, not to use statuses to communicate how you feel with each other or passive aggressively state how the partner made you feel. The thing is, if he's posting things like "round and round we go again," then all I can assume is that this type of thing has happened before? Where you've overreacted and bombarded him with an array of text messages, IMs etc. telling him how hurt he made you, and then apologised for overreacting? Without being too presumptuous, I've noticed that sometimes things like this tend to have a pattern to them. I still think it would be best to let him cool down and maybe after a week has passed, and he still hasn't gotten in touch, then deliver the ultimatum, saying you can only assume you broke up if he doesn't respond/start talking to you and you're going to start going to the steps to block him from contacting you if you don't hear from him in x-amount of time. And say it directly and bluntly, without any sense of theatricality to it, but I would say give him some time to breathe. Do I think this is okay? No, but it sounds like the communicatory dynamic is a bit broken on both ends and that's the only reason I say wait it out for a week, see if he messages you, and then work on your communication style (him too) so that this doesn't keep happening.

[LittleBox]

^ I agree completely with Piedpiper. I'd hold off on sending a long-winded email like that as it would just seem like a barrage following all those emotional texts. You might have smothered him by freaking out the way you did. Although I can understand why you were/are upset, you both need time to cool off and think things through. Try not to dwell on it but give him a week or two breathing room then like Piedpiper suggested send him a calm, collected email with an ultimatum. Lay off the status tag too. Sending cryptic messages through each other isn't helping matters either. Good luck with everything (:

[glasspaper]

I would wait still before sending an e-mail like that. Between this post and your last post, you two have dropped so many hints, used Facebook/WhatsApp as a platform communication etc. that I think you both need some time to cool down. Even if you apologised for how you responded, you apologised for responding the same way you did when you apologised, i.e. very emotionally. There's nothing wrong with being emotional, but where it becomes an issue is where you're continuously pelting him with how horrible he made you feel and giving him no opportunity for a solution, and emotionality has its place in a relationship. As much as I hate to say it, it's not necessarily in the communication part. Communication can't be all about theatrics and expecting him to understand that, say, "it's my birthday. I wish I could spend it with you" means he's supposed to be there at midnight when you're waiting. Relationships simply don't work that way. What if I told you "communicate. You know what you did wrong" in response to your posts? It wouldn't be very helpful. Communicating with your partner is much the same way! You need to state things explicitly and rationally and you need to do your best not to go into a more dramatic display of tears and "why aren't you talking to me? How could you hurt me like this?!" etc.

I think i agree with this, and i'm already doin it.
As you said, i need some time and space, yes.
And i guess he needs it too.
Thats why i decided to not send him that email like that.

He is, after all, only human. He can't read your mind. And you can't sit there saying that all the statuses were obviously for you. Perhaps they were, but on the same hand, you were the one who posted :'( and started it to begin with. You're both adult enough, I'm assuming, not to use statuses to communicate how you feel with each other or passive aggressively state how the partner made you feel. The thing is, if he's posting things like "round and round we go again," then all I can assume is that this type of thing has happened before? Where you've overreacted and bombarded him with an array of text messages, IMs etc. telling him how hurt he made you, and then apologised for overreacting? Without being too presumptuous, I've noticed that sometimes things like this tend to have a pattern to them.

Well, its not the first time we going through something like this.
I mean, yeah we had some cold arguments and ended up with didn't talking to each other for a week or two, before.
And i was always be the one who talked to him first, then he would be all cool like nothing has happened before, more like he didn't wanna talk about it.
I'm kinda tired of this tho, to be honest. The pattern.
I wanna change how i communicate with him and all. Without me to be overreacting, and without him to be all silent and acting like nothing wrong has happened.

I still think it would be best to let him cool down and maybe after a week has passed, and he still hasn't gotten in touch, then deliver the ultimatum, saying you can only assume you broke up if he doesn't respond/start talking to you and you're going to start going to the steps to block him from contacting you if you don't hear from him in x-amount of time. And say it directly and bluntly, without any sense of theatricality to it, but I would say give him some time to breathe. Do I think this is okay? No, but it sounds like the communicatory dynamic is a bit broken on both ends and that's the only reason I say wait it out for a week, see if he messages you, and then work on your communication style (him too) so that this doesn't keep happening.

Hmm. I guess i have done something like the ultimatum type thing, before.
About 3 months ago, when we had a problem. And the pattern quite the same like what we're going through right now.
I told him about the broke up and all. Then he assumed it was all i want, that i'm the one who wanted to stop talking and broke up.
So he thought it was a real broke up. And he would consider it was all over, instead of talking about it.
I remember theres a day he told me that he never wanted to stop it all, but he didn't like it if i said it to him.
That was the time when he stopped talkin to me, because we had an arguments and then i told him about stop talking and broke up.

But what just happening with us now, he stopped talking to me without any arguments before, i mean we had a good conversation a day before my birthday,
If there was something not really cool in our convo, so it would be when we talked about the skype thing and i was sad and said "just sleep, i'm okay".
But he still sweet and all before he went to sleep.
Thats why i was kinda shocked when less than 24 hours from our last convo, right after he woke up he suddenly didn't talk to me at all.
And i still don't get it why.

I wanna fix all the things out.
I think i don't wanna say about broke up again.
If i would talking to him again sometime and we should be broke up, i would rather to leave it said from him, not from me.

Anyway, ThePiedPiper i really really wanna thank you for all of your care and advices for me, it means a lot and it helps me to figure out all of my situation right now.
You're awesome. Thanks abuuuunch, ThePiedPiper.
I hope you still like to help me

[glasspaper]

^ I agree completely with Piedpiper. I'd hold off on sending a long-winded email like that as it would just seem like a barrage following all those emotional texts. You might have smothered him by freaking out the way you did. Although I can understand why you were/are upset, you both need time to cool off and think things through. Try not to dwell on it but give him a week or two breathing room then like Piedpiper suggested send him a calm, collected email with an ultimatum. Lay off the status tag too. Sending cryptic messages through each other isn't helping matters either. Good luck with everything (:

Yes commasplice.
We need some time and space to cool off.
I hope he would talking to me someday, soon.
So we could talk about it again with a better way.
I've got a lot of brill advices here, so i would try to work the things out like what i've just learned from you all here.
So, thank you for your advices, commasplice.
And good luck for you tooooo