Anxiety

[loneliestgirl]

So, my SO will be starting his new position Monday. He will have a period of training, probably a week or so and then be shipped out within 2 weeks. I find myself going through bouts of anxiety, sadness and crying. It can happen randomly and there doesn't seem to be an obvious trigger. I can wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and end up crying or not being able to fall asleep. It has been getting a little worse since last night. I talk to him a bit about it but I don't want to stress him out either. We have so little time left together and I don't want it to be all about my anxiety/feelings.

How do you all handle it, when you have those quiet moments when there isn't anything to occupy your mind or busy yourself with? What do you do to calm yourself down when you are in the middle of being overwhelmed with feelings? And how much do you share it with your SO without making them feel bad or guilty?

[glasspaper]

I'm with you, i felt the same anxiety and sad and cry when my SO told me that he gotta start a job last time.
I was all cryin and sad knowing that he might be so busy and we prolly couldn't talking that much like we usualy did.
He knew it because i showed him al my sad face , and he tried to cheer me up, but i'm too sad. And it might be made him feel bad.

So all i can say to you is, keep calm.
Keep positive thinking, your SO needs your support on his job. So, keep smiling, support him.
If you could make yourself busy, with school hangout with friend or work, so it's better. Be busy.
But keep in touch and tryin to give him space with his job, when he's working.
Show him that you still there and you care.
You'll be okay

[butlerfly]

What's your SO new job??

I feel the same. one minute I am fine the next I just want to break down.. If it's during the day.. text a friend call a friend, find something to occupy your mind..

My boyfriend is about to start training on Monday for 3-8 weeks in London. He is going to work on a cruise ship. once his training is done he will be straight on a ship for 9 months :-( I want to speak to him about it. about my worries tell him how much I will miss him all those things. But I guess like you not wanting to stress him out. I don't want to ruin this time for him. Which is meant to be happy and exciting for him.

[loneliestgirl]

He will be traveling across the US setting up a pilot program for his company in certain cities. He, along with a couple of other people, would be putting the teams together, training them, setting up the technical/physical aspects and providing in person support until any start-up glitches are gone and the team has a good enough grasp of procedures and products to not need hand holding.

My SO is very much like an ostrich. He buries his head in the sand when he is confronted in anything that is difficult emotionally or anything that even remotely hints at the practical side of the situation. For instance, he needs a laptop to be able to take care of his educational obligations while away. Time is ticking away and it's something that he needs to get very soon. He could be gone by next Monday. He has had the time and the funds to get one so that's not the issue. He just doesn't want to because it will acknowledge and remind him that he will be away. His family tried to talk to him and get him to square it away the other day and he became so stressed out and refused to just take care of it that it became a family discussion that lasted over 4 hours. I wasn't involved because I know better than to put that much energy into something like that when he is in that mood. I have dropped a hint or two but asking him if he plans to get one or what he will do for school. Him having the laptop would also help in keeping us in contact through video chat once or twice a week as well as with his parents. But I can't tell him that because it would trigger him to shut down because it's too much for him to think about emotionally. But, ultimately I have left it up to him to deal with the consequences of him refusing to prepare.

I will hopefully be starting a new job at the the same time he will be starting his traveling, so during the day, I will mostly be occupied with that M-F. My friends, while well meaning, have their own lives that they are very involved in and it's challenging on most days to connect socially whether on the on the phone or in person. They have their own jobs and families and husbands/boyfriends/children that rightfully so take up most of their free time in the evening and weekends. So, I am trying to come up with solid go to ideas/strategies now that will not primarily rely on someone else before the real intense emotions hit once he has actually left.

[butlerfly]

He sounds like my boyfriend.. It took him a while to tell his friends and family about the job. and only told his parents a couple of weeks ago the date he leaves. He also hasnt even told work he is quitting...
I'm not going to see him much this week because he says he has a lot to do (going to try and spend evenings together but I offered to take a day off work) I think he could have do some of these things already. ..