Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Me and Denise need your help. ASAP!!!

Collapse
This topic is closed.
X
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    #16
    Originally posted by leonsfangirl View Post
    While i can understand why people are upset over this (I've got the visa process to go through soon and money has been a HUGE factor) i dont think being mean about them asking is helpful.
    If you dont have anything nice to say, dont say anything at all kinda deal.
    No one's being mean. People are suggesting that LFAD might not be the place to come to for donations when they're either saving up for their own visits or visas, and they're also suggesting that maybe it was not best to apply for a visa at a time when that would mean compromising rent, bills or food for the animals, because at least in the U.S., visas do try and account for having enough money so that you don't have to do that. It's an unfair situation but no one's being particularly mean by asserting the fact that LFAD is not the place for donations, either for people who want trip money or for people who need money for their visas. And Dzu is simply saying that it's important for anyone to have done their research on visa expenses before closing the distance and budgeting to make it work. I simply wanted to put this out there as I haven't seen anyone as being ill-intended.

    To Caitlin, I'm sorry that you're going through such a difficult time, but I unfortunately have a limited amount of funds and my own bills and dogs and cats to pay for, where things have been tight for me too. :/ So I will simply leave you with the wishes that I hope you get this sorted out and no one ends up being deported. However, I would agree with the others in the sense that you should also consider looking into other options. It's not a huge sum of money so it's possible Denise would qualify for a bank loan. Are friends and family out of the equation?

    Comment


      #17
      I don't think there's any part of a visa expense that is unexpected. For a USA visa every single price is listed, I would assume it would be the same for every visa everywhere. Or at least in developed countries.

      Comment


        #18
        Originally posted by leonsfangirl View Post
        While i can understand why people are upset over this (I've got the visa process to go through soon and money has been a HUGE factor) i dont think being mean about them asking is helpful.
        If you dont have anything nice to say, dont say anything at all kinda deal.

        Wishing you all the best and i hope you get the cash together soon. If i could I'd give you all the money you need but consider the cats and dogs fed.
        sorry but this forum is not only super sweet place,but a place where people speak their minds and advise each other.nothing wrong in saying your opinion.thats why i love this community-people are honest and wont be cheesy with you,on contrary they will shake you if you need and will advise for your good only.we support each other here but reasonable support differs from just being sweet.To Caitlin:sorry and you may hate me as well,but i dont see a problem in your situation in terms of a real problem that came out of blue.planning a year in advance can be made to save up some money,so obviously doing things on the spot wont make any good.I wish you luck but i honestly think its only up to you two to deal with it.i can understand how bad you feel as all of us are in our LDRs but well,all of us work hard on closing them too.Best of luck!
        Last edited by Irina_Linn; February 8, 2013, 01:46 PM.

        Comment


          #19
          Originally posted by Caitlin2009 View Post
          um....that was awhile ago.....and frankly we have been budgeting, it was unexpected for how much it was going to be, and you bringing that one incident up is not fair
          It wasn't that long ago and it's not about how long ago it was but about your attitude towards it. Paying rent is not optional. If you're in temporary financial hardship you can try to talk to your landlord and ask about paying later or in rates. A lot of my friends have needed to do it at some point. But just not paying and being like "well I need the rent money for something else" is not ok. How would you like it if your landlord came over and was like "oh hey, I need your apartment for something else this month."?
          Like Moon and lucybelle pointed out, it wasn't unexpected. I just did a super quick two minute google search and there are a lot of pages, that tell you exactly how much you have to pay for the visa. Unexpected would have been your cat getting sick and having to leave a lot of money at the vet's (although personally I think if you don't have enough savings for unexpected vet visits, don't get a pet...), your house burning down or any other expense you couldn't have possibly expected. That's what unexpected means.
          Visa fees are not unexpected as you know years in advance that they'll be due.
          Sorry, Caitlin. My heart goes out to you. I know what it's like to be poor and again I'm honestly sorry for you two and hope that it all works out in your favour.

          Can Denise get another job? Or more hours? Or, I know it might not be exactly legal either buuut, could you get an 'unoffcial' job (aka black labour) like cleaning or ironing or something like that? You might not make a lot and I know it's not easy or very pleasant work, but you gotta do what you gotta do.
          You might still have to take out a loan or overdraft your account, because I can't think of legal, ethical ways to make $700 in one week, but at the very least you would be able to pay it back.

          leonsgirl:
          I assume you were talking about me and I don't think I've been mean. I generally agree that if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all. Which is why I don't post in threads where the only thing I'd have to say would be mean. But I know it has been a topic before and even though it probably won't change a thing, I have the hope that Caitlin and anyone else reading this and having to go through the visa process uses it as a reminder that you need to carefully pland and research the visa affairs. Relying on handouts from an online community is NOT a good strategy for closing the distance.
          I'm sure money is a huge factor for all of us in closing the distance. I don't even need visas and it's still a factor hence why my boyfriend and I, even though we've been together for about as long as Caitlin and Denise, are still long distance.
          Last edited by Dziubka; February 8, 2013, 01:58 PM.

          Być tam, zawsze tam, gdzie Ty.

          Comment


            #20
            I don't see how visa prices are "unexpected" when you can google it and find everything you need in 5 minutes. I'm sorry you're going through a hard time but this is just isn't the place to be asking for money. From what I've gathered we've told you this already and nothing is going to change a second time around.
            Made it official: 12-01-10
            First visit: 3-29-13/4-09-13
            Closed the distance: 07-31-13

            Comment


              #21
              I remember when you were saving up to apply for your visa the first time and even then you seemed to struggle. If you're moving to another country there's a reason they require you to have money. You should have enough saved to live for at least 3 months (being able to pay rent, bills and buy food) without any other income and you should have this money saved up BEFORE you move so you won't end up living on the streets cause you can't pay the landlord.

              To be honest, I think you rushed into things a bit too soon and now you're struggling. Like others have pointed out visa expenses aren't unexpected. I'm truly sorry this is happening because I know what it's like to have no money.

              I just think this situation could've easily been avoided had you planned your move and visa process a bit more and not move as soon as you had the minimum sum required saved up.

              We all offer our support and are willing to help throughout the visa process but we can't start paying other members' visas. Surely you can understand that.

              700$ isn't the end of the world. Go to a bank and ask for a loan. If Denise has a job that kind of sum shouldn't be a problem. Maybe ask some extra while you're at it that you can put aside should there ever be any unexpected situations like going to the vet etc.

              Best of luck!


              Comment


                #22
                The best help I can give you is advice.

                For years you've been coming here and telling us how shit you are with money and about all the financial mistakes you've made. You have bought this completely on yourselves by trying to make a move happen without half the preparation the rest of us went through. You need to grow the hell up and learn that just not paying the people you owe, like your landlord, is bullshit. You can't go through life lying to people and making their life harder because you don't want to learn to manage your finances like an adult.

                I've given money to people on the forums before, I have no problem being nice to randoms on the internet, and under other circumstances I'd be all for donating... but you're making the same mistakes over and over, and it's not my place to enable your own self destruction.

                The Gods help those who help themselves.
                Happily married to the little Canadian boy I never thought I'd meet in person

                Comment


                  #23
                  Since me and my SO are looking into the same sort of visa, we found out all the prices of every single little thing before we got his YMS visa and worked out a way of saving up this money so when the time comes, we can afford to pay for it all. Really, you should know what the costs are before you jump into something like this. The site always tells you the exact amount for each visa.

                  Have you tried family or friends? Anything you can sell to gather the money?

                  I really hope you guys get the money together, but i dont think coming here for money is a great idea...

                  Comment


                    #24
                    A $700 loan shouldn't be hard to get from a bank as long as someone in your relationship has a relatively steady job. My SO is low-income (just cleared poverty level though!) and its surprising how much money he could be approved for if he needed it.

                    Became a couple: March 17th, 2010
                    Started our college long distance relationship: August 2011
                    Surprise engagement in Disneyworld! : March 22nd, 2013
                    Closed the distance: May 2nd, 2014
                    Became his wife and started our happily ever after!: May 17th, 2014

                    Comment


                      #25
                      I've gotta agree with the others. This is a bad situation of course, but it's one that you could have avoided entirely. It's important to save money. It's important to have enough money saved up for visas before you're even in the country. These aren't at all unexpected expenses. You have to pay your rent every month. You have to buy food. You have to take care of your pets. And, you have to have money for your visa. You knew when the money would be due, you had a while to save up. This is the natural consequence of not spending money wisely. I hope that this will teach you to be a little more cautious and responsible, and to think ahead a bit more.

                      Thankfully, you still do have some options at this point. Take out a loan, sell some belongings, work odd jobs for neighbors or something, ask for money from your families. But I will say that you shouldn't rely on these options every time you have an expense.
                      Last edited by Shepard-Fowkes; February 8, 2013, 06:41 PM.


                      Comment

                      Working...
                      X