He wants a break :(

[nikii_a]

Hi guys, I guess I'm posting this because I need reassurance or I'll run my head crazy!
SO and I have been seeing each other for about a month now, we met online, he was meant to come see me for the first time next week.
He has been acting weird all week, we would usually talk every single day but since Tuesday he takes about a day to reply to one message and then the morning messages stopped coming. We would usually know each others schedule but he just stopped telling me.
So yesterday I asked him if he was going to tell me that he wasn't coming to see me anymore, he replied back to me in the middle of the night saying he needed a break, which i kinda saw coming. He said that things were going to good that he needed time to get his head around things.
And now he wants me to wait for a week. What the hell do I do for a week?? Should I be expecting a "it's over" after this one week. Although I did ask him if it was going to be the end of us or just a break, he said it was just a break. I just can't get my head around what the hell has made him pull away.
Any advice you awesome people can give would be greatly appreciated.

[redapple]

Only he can really tell you, but my guess? You've not known each other very long and maybe he wasn't ready for meeting the real rather than virtual you. I think it could be a case of he's been in a virtual world with you which is easy to maintain and maybe hadn't really thought about meeting the body behind the face on the screen and freaked out.

Or it could be many things!

However, personally I'm not a huge fan of breaks (just me) so you need to work out the root of this. I don't think anyone here would want you to end up in a relationship where you're constantly together and then on a break at the slightest fear or issue and then back together. Find out the cause and then discuss whether a break is the right thing, to me it seems he's bailed pretty easily which is a bit of a red flag for me.

Ask him why and then if he still wants a break (and you think his reasons justify waiting) then leave him be to get his head around whatever the problem is and then move on. Having never been on a break I'm not the best advice giver here but I do know that breaks do not mean the end for lots of people so don't be worrying over that, find out what's up with him and then I wish you the best!

[kayla_622]

You've only been together a month. Maybe you two are moving too fast for him. It seems like he might not be ready to meet you in person just yet. I'm don't really like breaks either. You can either fix a problem or you can't. This seems like something you two can talk about find out what the real issue is and if you can work on it then work on it. If not then maybe you two should just be friends.

[bethyylovee]

I agree that things might be moving too fast for him. You gotta remember that guys don't always jump into things as fast as us girls do. Also, you guys have only been together for a month. A break could actually be a good thing for the two of you. Let him clear his head and figure out what exactly it is that he's looking for right now. But don't just let him get away with the break without talking first. Try to get him to tell you why he thinks he needs a break. Communication is the golden key of a relationship.

[nikii_a]

Thanks for the advice you.
I actually did ask, it because he was with his ex for like 7 years or something and he told me from the very start that things fizzled out about a year ago. The reason the he gave for the break was that he wasn't used to getting all this attention and that it's all so new or something.
He was the one that brought up the whole meeting thing to see if we'd still click, he was willing to pay the the plane ticket and everything.
I honestly don't know what to think anymore.

[bethyylovee]

Thanks for the advice you.
I actually did ask, it because he was with his ex for like 7 years or something and he told me from the very start that things fizzled out about a year ago. The reason the he gave for the break was that he wasn't used to getting all this attention and that it's all so new or something.
He was the one that brought up the whole meeting thing to see if we'd still click, he was willing to pay the the plane ticket and everything.
I honestly don't know what to think anymore.

Honestly I think that's a good reason to want a break to clear his mind and collect his thoughts. Give him the space he needs so he can figure this out. If you don't give him space or smother him it could diminish all chances of you guys staying together. You don't know what's in his head, you weren't in his other relationship. Show him compassion and understanding so that he knows you're going to be supportive of him as long as your relationship lasts. Meeting after a month might be scary for him. He might have had a moment of excitement and suggested it, and then realized it was real and it can be hard.

It sounds like you're getting impatient with him, which isn't fair because you've only been together a month. You're still getting to know each other. Give it time, take a deep breath and don't jump to conclusions.

[nikii_a]

Oh no, Im totally not impatient. We have spoken since this morning and I am totally willing to wait because I really meant things to work out for us.
Want me to pm u exactly what he said?

[bethyylovee]

Sure!

[nikii_a]

Sent it!

[MadMolly]

Personally I think meeting ASAP is a good thing. I mean, think about if this was a close-distance thing - you'd meet even before anything happened, so the sooner you meet the better! If he's freaking out already I'd be pretty confused too. Give him his space I guess, but if he keeps acting weird for much longer, I'd be cutting my losses and moving on before I got too involved with a guy who obviously has some issues he needs to work out.

[nikii_a]

Thanks for the advice, trying hard to cope. T^T