Not Feeling the LDR atm

[TriniCherryPrincess]

I had a moment...I felt like I can't do this distance thing anymore...had a lot of negative thoughts to go with it...
Remembering LDAF brought me back, because I'm not the only one and I'm certainly not in the longest distance relationship. Does it help to have a support system close to you since your SO is far away? I think that is what's making this 10x harder for me. I could be wrong though.
Words of encouragement, please/thanks?

[lademoiselle]

I daresay we all have those moments. For me they always come charged with negativity; it can help to remind yourself that what you're feeling is probably just a mood and will almost certainly pass. Think about it: you could walk away today because you feel as if you can't handle the distance any longer, just to find you wake up tomorrow morning with your strength renewed, but your actions can't be undone. As my SO often tells me, it's a question of perspective!

Regarding support systems, LFAD remains the best thing I've found. I've been a member a bit over a year now and have made some wonderful friends, to the extent that I've come to feel I'm long distance with not just my SO but my best mates too When you share an experience with other people it means you already have something in common, and that can't but bond you together. Remember that as long as you have others to whom you can turn, you're never alone

[Malaga]

I had a big personal crisis last week. I think everything got together - hormones, post-visit depression, and the realisation we have nothing booked after this upcoming visit. This is unusual for us, we normally have at least 2 visits in advance booked. It's easier that way on so many levels, organisation-wise and also the reassurance of knowing exactly when you're going to see each other next and how much longer you have to wait.

This wouldn't be an issue really, all we have to do is sit down and book the next visit. But it's always a stressful thing, I have to count my pennies, shuffle work schedule, look for flights that fit within this narrow timeframe we have for visits. The longer we leave it waiting, the harder it gets - prices go up, work schedule gets tighter and I get more panicky. I'm already poor as it is, stretching flexi-time at work to the max, and I'll have to do the whole thing again next month or so.

That's just the thing that got me super down. I felt discouraged at the prospect of having to go through that stressful process again and again and again for at least another year. I got tired of squeezing out every buck for the flights, asking for time off, scheming with schedule. I just felt like my tanks were low on fuel and I was spent. Exhausted by this lifestyle. I started doubting we would ever close the distance, even if that's totally unfounded, and even feeling like it was all pointless.

But then I vented to a friend, spent some quality time with my SO and somehow I got my spirit back. This does go like waves, sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down. I suggest you look for ways you can strengthen the bond with your SO over distance. You can do couples activities mentioned on the main site, that's a good start.
Support system is key, but it doesn't necessarily have to be local to you. My best friend lives about 850 miles away (in the same area as my SO actually) but we're always there for each other over chat, email or Skype. She's also in a LDR which really makes such a difference, we can relate to each other better and we have endless patience for each other.
LFAD is also good for advice, insight or even just distraction. Knowing you're not the only one definitely helps.

Good luck xx

[stephanieaz]

I've had days where I felt like I couldn't stand the distance for another minute. I think it happens to the best of us. It is especially hard when, like Malaga said, there are no visits planned and when you will see each other again is uncertain. I think the best thing you can do is stay busy.

[pretty ll vacant]

This happens for me from time to time as well, and I have thought about throwing it all away because of it. However, I always begin to think about how miserable I would be if he wasn't in my life at all. I use this site as my support system, and the thought that our distance is only a temporary thing. Like lademoiselle said, don't do anything you would regret because you can't always go back and undo it.

[Sora1101]

I also had a moment of doubt but I sat down and pretty much made a pros/cons list of my SO and our relationship (weighted in order of importance). It really helped me realize that no matter the distance I wanted to be with him.

[TriniCherryPrincess]

Thank you all, I appreciate the responses!

[Irina_Linn]

once i woke up thinking i cant do this anymore!!!and i was sooo down.it happens to everyone in LDR and it goes away in some time.from my experience,when i am in such mood,i wait a little before talking to my SO otherwise we end up fighting and i put my frustration on him.and when this feeling goes away,i love him even more that before