Guys I think this is it for our relationship... today I told her about she is not spending time with me like we used to before, and she is very upset right now :S I just told her like 30 mins ago and now she said that she will think about it to end the problem but in a "bad way" maybe she wants to end with the relationship, and for real I dont think she is right because we dont spend time together since 14 february... we only talk by facebook but not skype, she is always tired and on weekends she always has to do something with her friends, family etc etc etc... so what about me? doesnt she have time for her boyfriend? Its kinda sad because this year we were supposed to close the distance but at this rate... any advice?
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i feel for you, but it sounds to me that she isnt as comitted as you are...
the only advice i can give you is ask her why? how comes that she is tired and such spending time with friends and family is oke off course, but it is a bit strange that she can't find the time to talk with you for a few moments...
only "bright" side is that it happens now and not when you just moved and stuff...
wish you luck! this is a tough one! -
This is always the same when we are in the distance, I mean when we are together this never happens and after we talked a while she told me that she doesnt know what to do... because she doesnt want to suffer anymore, and neither lose me so... she is now thinking about what she must do but what am I supposed to do? just wait for her answer? its not fair that she will end with this after all the things we spent together...Comment
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i am sorry for you but you also gotta realize that it just doesnt matter at times how much time you spent together,if your partner is not commited same as you are.i understand how it hurts and how confused you are,but also its better to end up all the things now rather than suffer right before closing the distance.still i hope she will decide not to break up,talk to her and try finding out what is the problem from her point of viewComment
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Irina and dragonlady nailed it: Your SO is not as committed as you are stark. I recommend that you let go of the girl and move on, you deserve better.Comment
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hard but true.. also in my eyes...
of course it is hard and every body here "suffers" from it, but we all try to look at the future when we can finally CD
and if she can't wait for that to happen.. well she is not worth you..Comment
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im so glad to see that im not the only one who feels like you need to spend time with your other despite the distance, i hope things work out for you guysComment
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I don't necessarily think this means she's not as committed as you. Maybe she's just trying to live a little while you're long distance? My SO and I don't get a lot of time together, but it's a combination of his work commitments, my university commitments, time difference, and both of us wanting to have a social life. Unfortunately, time gets eaten up quickly, but just because some days I have to say to him "I'm sorry, I can't talk today, I'm just off to the pub with some mates", or him saying "Sorry, I'm having a drink with my co-workers after work", it doesn't mean we don't care.
Also, you saying "Since 14th Feb, everything's changed, we don't spend as much time together" - that's ten days. That's not a couple of months of neglect, that's less than two weeks. Maybe this has just been a full on couple of days for her.
I think we need a little more information - have you been pressuring about her time with you regularly? Because if you have, that might be a reason why she's pulled away during this confrontation. Is she the one moving to you? Because if she is, she might be trying to spend as much time with the people she cares about at home while she still can. I just don't think you've told us enough to really make a judgement call on this.Comment
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I think you come across as very needy and overbearing in this situation. It's been less than a month and you've become a whistle blower. I believe that even in long distance relationships sometimes its OK to distance yourself a little for your partner. It doesn't mean your less committed, less interested or what not buy it does mean that you are engaging in life which above all is the most important thing ever.
I feel that you need to loosen the grip, stop focusing on what she's doing and start focusing on doing things for yourself. When one person becomes too invested, too focused and overly committed that isn't good either. Allow her to have space and most of all give yourself some.Comment
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Im the one who is moving to her country (I have family there) its not the first time that I say that we dont spend time together but its the first time since I visited her (1 month ago) I dont know what to think because now she is thinking what to do about us... She doesnt wanna suffer anymore having me but if she leaves she will suffer as well, thats what she said. Besides she is scared about that if something happens when we are together Im gonna blame her and say things like "I did this, and this and that" which is not true... Im risking a lot of thing in this relationship Im working 6 days per week to save money and move this year, I cannot have fun with my friends because college and work dont allow me to do that, I dont spend money in things that I would like to do... and for what? to feel like Im making a lot of effort and she doesnt? Since she told me about she doesnt wanna do, I feel down even at job/college... why am I working? for nothing? why do I tend to leave my mom here? I love her ALOT (first relationship, and she too) but I dont want keep working and in 3 months she will say "its enough" you got me? and Im pretty sure that if I tell her this last sentence she will say that the best is end with this... but if I dont, it will kill me slowly. This morning while I was working I was thinking if I should end this or what... but I just dont want to lose her at all, that will kill me in fact... so I just dont know what to do :SComment
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