Just days before 1st. visit...cold feet?

[CatCountry]

I'll be flying to see my SO for the first time on Monday. I'm hitting the what if wall.
What if I don't like him in person?
What if I clam up and become super shy?
What if .....you name it.

I hope to be able to relax...he really is a wonderful man. Right now I just feel so apprehensive, and nervous. I'm probably just playing mind games with myself.

How were you feeling days before that first visit? How did it go?

[Jellybean]

The what if's are normal everyone thinks about the situation...going over little scenarios in their heads about what could happen be it bad or good lol I know I did the few days before my visit...I had really stupid things going through my head like what if the trains get bombed? lol was completely irrational but si just jept me calm and on the actual day...I just felt numb from nerves and impatience that the what if's kind of just left. As soon as you actually start the journey and know your actually doing something youve wanted...everything gets better, well it did for me lol if you can, then just keep your SO updated on where you are etc and when your arriving im sure everything will go amazingly

[LadyMarchHare]

I've never met my SO, but I went through something similar when I almost did back in May. I was scared to death he was going to see me head to toe and be like "yeah this wasn't what I signed up for" and plus I have a fear of airplanes and being alone (I've never traveled on my own and I'm claustrophobic) so I was pretty much sure I'd have to be sedated and wheeled out a drooling mess to him.

But like Jellybean said, it's normal. You want to be the perfect everything for them and when the time comes to say "here I am" you want to run and hide. Chances are he's just as nervous. Maybe you could talk with him about it and maybe set some rules about how you'll greet each other if you feel you'll shy away from him instead of jumping on him for a hug. I think if you started getting into the 'what if' rut, ask yourself this: What if I don't go see him? If that doesn't stop the nagging questions I don't know what will because even if some bad or awkward things happen, the good outweighs the bad here. You'd be worse off shying away from the opportunity than jumping in scared stiff.

[Èternity]

I was scared to death he was going to see me head to toe and be like "yeah this wasn't what I signed up for" and plus I have a fear of airplanes and being alone (I've never traveled on my own and I'm claustrophobic) so I was pretty much sure I'd have to be sedated and wheeled out a drooling mess to him.

Well said LMH! I've never met mine either and am booking the plane ticket today and find myself hyperventilating, haha. I've run through the scene at the airport when we meet, a hundred times, rescripted it, polished it to perfection in my own mind and now it's actually going to happen, warts and all so to speak. I know he is going to read this so I won't go on but it's so true. Someone told me coldfeet=anxiety+excitement. I'm sure there is a factor of 10 in there somewhere for LDRs. Good luck!

[garnet]

I felt sick! Rane was flying for like 14 hours or something from Canada to see me in the US (no pressure there!). I know it had to be harder for him to get on that plane, but it wasn't easy to wait for him either. I what if'd a million things. I was a roller coaster of excited and then feelings of, OMG what did I do, why did I agree to this!?!?! It was terrible. We had been dating online for 8 months before our first in person meeting. We did IM chat about how freaked I was (if I remember right, he didn't get nervous until he was almost here), I told him what I was scared of, we talked about what we would do when we met ... (would there be a friendly wave? a kiss? haha.) While I was waiting for his airport shuttle to pull up (he was many hours late), I felt like there were rocks in my stomach.

Anyway, when he got here, there was a minute of huuhhhh, so this is you, you're real! And then, it was pretty cool, it was still the him I knew, I could just see him and touch him. But it wasn't like a first meeting after that first tiny bit. It was like we had been dating for 8 months.

So I think what you are going through is probably the norm. I hope you guys have an amazing time!

[Rhiavaan]

It is the norm dear. No worries. I've yet to meet Sean but this isn't my first LDR I've had, just the last *grin*. The what if's are normal, cold sweats, pacing, tears at unexpected times, it will all fade away when your eyes meet.

[CatCountry]

Thank you all for putting my mind at ease...for right now anyway. lol We shall see...in just a few short days.

[folclor]

I was freaking out before I went. When I got there he said he was going to kiss me but I was so nervous and shy that I botched it and went for a hug instead. ^^;; it was a tad bit awkward at first and then things got better. We ended up being ourselves. Things are working out fine for us.

[agentholli]

I haven't met my BF yet, but I have these fears for when I do. I believe they are totally normal. They will go away when you first lay your eyes on him. HAVE FUN!

[elina]

Before we met for the first time, I was really nervous, but not.. bad nervous. Mainly just excited nervous I guess he had some doubts before we met (that I wouldn't like him or the way he looked and.. I possibly couldn't not like the way he looks :P) and I was pretty confident as to how it would go with us. At one point I was thinking if he'd like my accent x) but yeah.. I was.. almost sure that we'd love each other just as much and.. yeah, it turned out to be just like that. It was absolutely amazing. We had the best 3 days together and from the very first second it felt sooooo right and natural and like we'd known each other for yeaaars. No akwardness whatsoever.
At first we kinda.. couldn't believe we were finally together and we like O_____________o haha, it was sooooooooooooo nice.. after waiting so long to meet and we were we finally together ♥ We just hugged and hugged and hugged for aaaaaaages until the airport staff told us to get out because the airport was closing teheh ^_^ ♥

The waiting.. was horrible I'm sure it was waaaayyyyyy harder for him to fly over here to see me with the.. insecurity and the (tiny) chance of us not working out.. but I'm so glad he did and I'll always appreciate that he was willing to do that for me/us, he's so amazing ♥

It's normal to feel nervous and have "what if"'s but if you're meant for each other, I'm sure everything will go just fine Have you talked to your SO about your feelings? I guess that might help.
Lots of luck and remember to enjoy every moment!

[elina]

Before we met for the first time, I was really nervous, but not.. bad nervous. Mainly just excited nervous I guess he had some doubts before we met (that I wouldn't like him or the way he looked but.. I possibly couldn't not like the way he looks :P) and I was pretty confident as to how it would go with us. At one point I was thinking if he'd like my accent x) but yeah.. I was.. almost sure that we'd love each other just as much and.. yeah, it turned out to be just like that. It was absolutely amazing. We had the best 3 days together and from the very first second it felt sooooo right and natural and like we'd known each other for yeaaars. No akwardness whatsoever.
At first we kinda.. couldn't believe we were finally together and we like O_____________o haha, it was sooooooooooooo nice.. after waiting so long to meet and then finally we were together ♥ We just hugged and hugged and hugged for aaaaaaages until the airport staff told us to get out because the airport was closing teheh ^_^ ♥

The waiting.. was horrible I'm sure it was waaaayyyyyy harder for him to fly over here to see me with the.. insecurity and the (tiny) chance of us not working out.. but I'm so glad he did and I'll always appreciate that he was willing to do that for me/us, he's so amazing ♥

It's normal to feel nervous and have "what if"'s but if you're meant for each other, I'm sure everything will go just fine Have you talked to your SO about your feelings? I guess that might help.
Lots of luck and remember to enjoy every moment!

[BoogleBee]

I'm sure it will go wonderfully
I was extremely nervous before we first met. She flew over here to New Zealand from Germany, so like...almost a full day of flying. She came for 5 weeks and we both thought omg what if we don't get a long or it doesn't work. Worry worry worry!
But then she arrived, and for the first couple of hours we were rather shy. Hehe. But we had a hug at the airport, it was so nice to be in her arms at last! We had the most amazing 5 weeks! It went way way to fast, but it was just...perfect. The best time of my life. She was the same as online, wait no..she was better! and we got on really well and thats how we realised we could do this and so yes good luck! I'm going to see my SO in her country for 6 weeks in december and I know I will probably feel nervous again, but not as much.

[Caitlin2009]

will meet mine for the first time next Friday and trust me im going through all the what if's and emotions as well

[NaNi]

Everybody is nervous! It's normal. I was nervous too. Very much. I also thought about the possibility that my SO might not like me in person or that she might not like how I look or stuff like that. But once we made eye contact and we hugged for the very first time... I could tell that it would be amazing. I could just feel it. And I was right! I had the best time of my life and I didn't want to leave again. Also... I think I fell in love with my SO while visiting her. Although I was too shy to admit it.

[Silviar]

When my boyfriend and I were two weeks away from getting into it, I had those thoughts and more. There's always that bit of uncertainty the first time. We also had fights, which really had me concerned as we're not the type to get into multiple fights, yanno?

You probably won't relax til you finally meet - but try. Remember that it's going to come one way or another, and it'll work out the way it's supposed to. He wants to meet you, not scared you.

When my boyfriend and I met, we held hands the entire way home to our hotel - I insisted on a hotel for the first part of the trip. We kissed and talked and it was amazing.