How long until you close the distance?

[bethyylovee]

We're very old fashioned. We don't believe in moving in together until we're married. And he doesn't want to get married until he gets a stable job. So after he graduates I'm December, I'm hoping he can get the job he wants so we can get married and start our life together. Ahhh!

How long until you guys close the distance? And do you believe in living together enforce marriage?

[Trethsparr]

We don't, so we didn't. We were long distance for a year before marrying and closing the distance.

[lyonsgirl]

We're getting married in just under 8 months, so... we'll be closing the distance after that. Although, it may be before then if things work out in our favor. We have lived together previously (for all of about 4 months) but, honestly, we lived like roommates rather than a "normal" couple. We have more traditional views when it comes to marriage, and this worked for us. But, it worked for us. I know that what we chose to do is not "normal" and most people who knew our living situation thought we were freaking nuts.

[lademoiselle]

I know that what we chose to do is not "normal" and most people who knew our living situation thought we were freaking nuts.

Eh, there's no such thing as so-called normal, just what works for you and your partner!

We don't mind the idea of living together before marriage. For us it makes practical sense, even for financial reasons because we're stingy like that No, being serious, I guess we will move in with each other once we close the distance... the one thing I do worry about a bit though is falling into the "comfort" of cohabiting and postponing getting married because of it. I've never wanted to be the woman who does everything a wife does without ever being a wife, haha

Regarding closing the distance itself, at an estimate we're looking at another 2.5 years minimum apart

[lyonsgirl]

Eh, there's no such thing as so-called normal, just what works for you and your partner!

Very true.

[Brieasaurus]

We're closing the distance in less than a year, next January. We're definitely living together before getting engaged/married but hopefully after a bit we'll know for sure that we won't murder each other and get engaged.

[kattermole]

We're closing the distance in two and a bit months, at the end of May. We aren't engaged or anything like that, although that will no doubt come in time. He's leaving his job and his family to move to me so that's commitment enough for me at the moment. He didn't want to get engaged while living apart, which I get as I'd like to get engaged and then be able to start planning the wedding right away, and I only want to do that when we're settled and living together. I also don't think I'd risk marrying someone without living with them, it's a whole new dimension to your relationship when you live with someone and have all the everyday domestic stuff to deal with etc, and I'd like to get settled in a routine with that before we get married.

[Black_Halloween]

We'll defiantly live together before we get married, it just makes more sense to us I guess. We still have over a year to go though until we start talking about it. -sigh- We'll get there though!

[Oldblighty]

I lived with my then fiance for nearly three months before we got married. Considering I had flown all the way from England I couldn't really afford to stay in a hotel for that amount of time, so we had no choice but to live together before we wed & it meant we got to know each other pretty well....

Now I'm back home, waiting for my CR1 visa approval & then I will be moving in with my hubby..

It's a personal choice whether a couple decide to live together before marrying....sometimes people in LDR don't have a choice......

[Zapookie]

We closed the distance in May last year but will have to go LD this coming May. We may have to get married this year for either of us to reside in either of our countries, it really depends on how much money we have.

[squeeker]

Despite coming from somewhat conservate backgrounds (me more than him), we are okay with living together before marriage. It makes the most sense being in an LDR because hotels are expensive, so when I go to visit him, I stay with him (though his dad is there too, so it's not the same as if it was just us). It's going to be another few years before we close the distance. We both needed a better education to be able to afford a life together. He will be finished a BSc in 2 1/2 years and I'm starting in September so it'll be 4 years for me.. and then another couple years of a job to save up money might be in order.. so we're looking at 4-6 more years of LDR for us. It's okay because I understand everybody's life is different.. and I'd rather we settle down and have a good job to be able to get a good house and live comfortably, than to close the distance now and struggle so badly. Though being in an international LDR we don't even have that option because we have to have money to close the distance. I sometimes get jealous of couples who close the distance in a year or two only.. but I know my life is different and I've found the one I want to be with and even this LDR time is part of our story and it's a great story that will last forever.

[sewbama]

Interesting question, and this week the answer has changed every day... I suppose it still isn't set in stone, but at the moment, I'm closing the distance with my SO next week. I'm trying not to get too excited because so much stuff is already trying to make that impossible. So many things have gone wrong in the last month. But, luckily, they've only added up to very close to keeping us from closing the distance. So, for now, less than a week! Let's hope that number goes down rather than up.

A couple months ago, I thought it'd be years... Gah, I need to not get too excited. It could all still come crashing down...

Yea, we moved in together (and across the country together from AL to New Mexico) about six months after we met. It was a little crazy, maybe, but it made sense for us. We only lived 60 miles apart when we met, so we'd see each other on the weekends and just stay in each other's place. So we got to know each other really well pretty early. It worked for us to be living together after that. It only solidified our feelings.

I agree that I'm not sure I'd marry someone if I hadn't lived with them first, but then I would have married my SO a month after we met and never regretted or doubted that decision. So I guess, when it's the right person, none of that stuff really matters.

[lucybelle]

There's lots of threads about living together before marriage.

Personally, I knew that I wanted to live with someone before being married to them. We lived together for about 2 years before being married and I'm so glad we did. I guess I understand religious reasons behind not living together first, but man after having lived together than married, NOTHING changes. Like I don't feel any different than before. Most of the time, we don't even remember we're married. So I don't get why all of a sudden after getting a paper signed by someone it's OKAY to live together.

I suppose the difference is that to me marriage was just signing paper, not being united before God. We're the exact same couple doing the exact same things as before. Just now I have a little paper buried somewhere in my drawer that says we're husband and wife.

I really thought I would feel different. I even hoped I would. But nope. Just same old same old.

[Mimmi]

In 75 days!! Super excited no marriage involved, I'm not thinking about that too much, it's just important we're together and don't have to think about a date when we have to part at miserable airports. But I love airports right now, they will bring me my most precious person in the world in just a few months!

[rawrimolivia]

My fiance and I should hopefully be closing the distance sometime during the month of may this year because it's right after his consulate interview in Canada in the month of April, so hopefully we should get approved and then the distance will be closed. Then we will be married in July.