100 tips for LDR

[Irina_Linn]

As I've been going through threads,I see quite a lot of FAQs asked by newbies.so i thought:what if LDR veterans and those,who are in LDR for quite a while help newbies out and each of you guys can write some useful tip or the answer to the questions? I shall start then

1) What is it all about and how to survive first weeks in LDR?
LDR is not something alien in human relationship.It is a normal thing,that just involves a bit more patience and trust as any other relationship.It may feel awfully strange for the first time as you cannot hug the person,go for a walk,hug and kiss.On the other and,LDR opens a lot of new opportunities for you and your creativity such as better knowing the person,thinking of unusual ways to wish your partner on holidays and it motivates you to do your best in order to cut the distance.The feeling of frustration and loneliness is also normal at the beginning of LDR,so its nothing to worry about.The important thing is,talk with your SO about everything that bothers you,as LDR more than normal relationship,requires communication.

hope its not that boring and our tips will help newbies to adapt easily to the LDR

[Kiyama]

I like this thread

2. Distract yourself. Don't dwell on the distance. Pick up a new hobby, meet up with friends or spend time with your family. Time will go by so much faster

3. Remember that both of you have their own lives. So don't panic because you're SO doesn't respond immediately or decides to go out with friends instead of chatting to you. Give each other space.

[Moon]

4. Be flexible. Time differences and miles can make the best laid plans go awry, don't waste time arguing over something that can't be changed anyway.
5. Trust. You cannot have a healthy LDR without it
6. Be realistic. Love doesn't conquer all, and life isn't one big RomCom. You need to plan and save for visits, and the miles won't shorten on their own.

[Black_Halloween]

7. Don't forget to make each other laugh! Its no good to be sad about the distance all the time.

[redapple]

8) Let the small things go

So he's 15 minutes late to a talk you've had planned for days? option 1: be angry/moody/unhappy and fight it out, potentially for most of the time you have together. Option 2: move on and enjoy the rest of your time being able to talk together!

Time is precious when you only get to talk/hear/type to your other half occasionally. Its also harder to make up after bickering. Sometimes its best to let the small things go.

[lademoiselle]

9. Don't let the green-eyed monster get the better of you!

[Malaga]

10. Build a routine.

Routines are crucial for LDRs, they're comforting and make your life that much easier. Try to be as reliable as possible, stick to your routines and schedule as much as possible. Expect your SO to do the same.
But have understanding for each other when occasionally other stuff comes up last minute or your schedule has to change. Try to let each other know about it as soon as you can.
Accept that routines might change or that there might be a limited time when they're not possible, like if one of you moves or switches jobs or schools. But in the long run, you should always strive towards a routine.

[Biddlybiddlybombop]

11. Don't expect your SO to be psychic. Without all the facial expressions, body language, and the way you say things to pick up on, it's more difficult for your SO to pick up on your mood and what you mean. You need to be vocal about your problems rather than wait for your SO to pick up on something. It also means that your SO has to be vocal with you. Avoid jumping to conclusions about what your SO is thinking, and avoid assuming they know what you're thinking.

[Jezah]

12. Share even "mundane" things. After 2 years with my SO, I find talking to him through my smart phone app on my bluetooth while shopping is fun since it sparks conversations about things I see. Even driving to doctors appts we chat on bluetooth and it makes it feel more real, since if he was here we would be chatting in the car.

[bethyylovee]

13. Don't accuse!

It's hard to know exactly what's going on when you can't see them or what their doing, but you just need to trust them and don't accuse them of something you don't know about.

[Sora1101]

14. Don't live your life attached to your computer, go out and have fun once in awhile.

[Jazi]

15. It's normal to feel down after a visit, there is no 'set time' for how long it will last, there are no rules here.. just don't let the sadness consume you, pick yourself up and go do something fun! eventually things will go back to normal and you will feel better.

[loveknowsnodistance27]

16. Remember the distance is only temporary!

[Schlafmütze]

17. If part of your "closing the distance" plan is you going to school where your SO is, make sure you: a. Do it for yourself and that it is a decision you would be happy with, regardless of your so being with you or not. B. you really want to go to school/Uni/ go for that Master/phd, and it is not just an excuse or a way to get a visa. C. You can afford it. You don't want to be stuck or in debt.

18. Don't play mind games just to see what his reaction towards something that have been bothering you. Speak it out, communicate. Don't assume!

19. And this for the many messages we have been getting lately about pregnancy, birth control and so on: Educate yourself. Specially if your SO is the first person you will be intimate with. Visit your doctor and ask him which brith control method is better for you. Unplanned pregnancy, STD's, etc are not a joke and could add unnecessary stress to LDR. Information is out there. Read!

20. Have back up plans and MONEY in case something goes wrong during a visit.

21. If you met your SO online. Ask for a webcam date before visiting the first time. You want to make sure you are not being played or who knows what else.

22. Trust your gut

[Belle]

23. Get creative! Talking on the phone for hours is not worth it if the conversation got dull after 20 minutes. Pick up books on questions or invest time in learning about your SO's hobbies. Also little things like apps (i.e. couple) could help you stay creative and get to know each other's city.

24. Be cautious/smart! Specially if you're just starting to get to know each other.

25. Work on letting negative thoughts and comments slide off your shoulder.

26. Be VERY clear about what you want out of the relationship and what the relationship is. LDRs usually need to be serious to work but you can't assume the other person is on the same page. Are you exclusive? What are your solid "no goes" and "needs?"