Family Vacation: The Twilight Zone?

[Lunar Snow]

Yesterday, I was kind of blown away and I am not sure what to think. I am kind of just treating it like something that may not materialize and, therefore, not to worry about it too much (since it is only in the planning and researching stages).

Basically, he says I have been invited on his family's vacation to Mexico at Christmas or New Year's. He and his Mom wanted to know what I thought and for me to say whether Christmas or New Year's would be better. o.O;

Okay, the guy can't tell me he loves me yet but wants me to spend a major holiday out of country with he and his family (Mom, Dad, sisters)? Now who is moving fast? In addition to that shocker, since I am still looking for full-time, "serious" employment (or any employment) and wanting to start my "adult life," eventually...all I could really say without sounding like a spoil-sport, was that I was interested in the idea (I've never been and it would be pretty cool), but that it seems like such a long way away when everything is up in the air for me. (He did talk about how they would pay for my ticket with their travel miles, since they have many of them from owning a store. ...but that is a great generosity of them and I still wonder how I would afford a place to stay and travel money, let alone a week off from the amazing job I am hoping to get...but I didn't say this stuff). I also said New Year's--Christmas with my family is still pretty important to me, but he was talking as if we were a married couple and trying to decide whose parents to spend time with over the vacation and that he already suspected I would choose New Year's and how flexible his parents would be about it! o.O; Oh, and how they went before but he didn't want to go, but how excited he would be to go now that I might be coming. Am I in the Twilight Zone? Any advice or comments?

[Zephii]

I read your other threads, but didn't have much to say, so I'll add that here as well.
With the "I love you" thing, sometimes that's harder to say than feel, and then sometimes people don't know that they are feeling it, or maybe he just feels you have not had enough in-person time to form the depth he requires to say it. And, well, some people are just weird. He cares deeply about you and wants to see you, and feels serious enough to stay committed and make an effort for the LDR. Just give him time
I also think that part of the hesitancy is that friend (the best friend, I think she's G?) who has the temporary boyfriend. I'm not 100% convinced he isn't at least a little interested in her, and maybe is waiting for something that will help him know for sure... like having a back up plan. I could be way off base though, because I only have impressions for what you've said.

Now with the holiday thing, I think the mature thing to do would be to be honest and say "It would depend on work." If for some horrible reason you're not employed or only employed casually at the time, then that's great, but if you're putting your future and "adult life" first then that's fine. Why should you set yourself back financially or with possible carrer opportunities for a guy who isn't sure he loves you yet? Self-preservation says look after yourself and get yourself set up first, I think.

All in all though I think the invite is a very good sign!

[Lunar Snow]

Thanks for the reply Zephii. It's funny, as when I came back to the forum, I wasn't seeing any of the "regulars" I recognize, so it is good to hear from some of you (and some new ones, too! )

Re: The I Love You, I added some more background on him and would be curious to read how you think that might influence things. You are right, though--time is good and in LDRs, we have lots!

B is his...(bad grammar alert) bestest friend and then the other two are part of that circle, whom he would consider his close friends, I guess. G...oh boy--have you followed my rants on her? I am not 100% either and experienced some jealousy/ resentent in the past about the way he represented her and her feelings about our relationship, though now I would be really surprised and disgusted with him if he was...I can find very little that is redeeming in her person. I could see him falling more for B or L, but am glad that he at least claims only friendship/ brotherly feelings. Yikes! I would hate to be a back-up plan! :S There is the off chance that I could be, but I don't think I would ever be a back-up for G. I think she is very used to him going and doing things with her and he is used to subjugating himself to her a bit, but he has said that too much time with her and she is just obnoxious...so I doubt that anything would ever go beyond shallow waters. Hmmmn.

That's a good point. That's pretty much how I feel. I did talk to my big sister today (wouldn't dare talk to my parents, since they would flip out) and she did feel I should honestly lay things down about work and make sure that his parents are willing to commit the points for my trip (I feel awkward about it, but it is much better now than finding out right before the flight that I have to pay them back). However, she also thinks that it is a really big deal for him to invite me on a trip like this and I should show excitement and give him a bit of an ego stroking--I also agree that I could be more enthusiastic about it and see what happens (it would be pretty darn cool, so I don't want to swat it down completely). I don't want to sound bratty, but if I knew that he felt the same way as me, I would be a little more willing to compromise and do things for the sake of the relationship, but something about this imbalance in expression has me going into self-protect mode, too, which I think is wise.

Thanks! I will keep you all posted when things are more developed.