edit: I tend to be guilty of long posts...sorry, felt like I had to get everything down, hehe. Skip to the bottom if you wish :P
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Hello everyone, I hope you all are doing well! It's been about 6 months since I last posted here and a quick browse through the main forum made me smile to see some people I knew back then that helped me through some tough times and gave me great advice, are still active
When I was active here, I was in my first LDR with someone incredibly special I met through a game I played. We knew each other and talked for about 7-8 months before I made the trip out there to meet her. Everything about our meeting and the 7 days I stayed with her was absolutely perfect. There was not a single thing that went wrong... When you think of something that is too good to be true, imagine this trip taking that phrase a few steps further, passed the realm of "too good to be true" into something so much greater, and that's how this trip, as well as the connection between us, was. Everything clicked. The stars, the planets, the galaxies were all aligned exactly the way they needed to be... Leaving to fly back home was the hardest part...
A couple of weeks passed, during which we both decided officially that we wanted to be together for the long haul... Just 2 months later, I would be making another trip out to see her, though this one shorter, and a bit more spontaneous. I had told her how one of my favorite bands would be playing in her city, and how cool it would be if we could go see them. She liked the idea, and what started out as just a joke, turned into an actual trip out there to do just that! During the month or so before this trip however, our relationship hit a huge unnecessary snag, which, is documented here on LFAD...lol. Fortunately, it was mostly resolved before flying out there again. I got there expecting some sort of lingering awkwardness between us but, things turned out to be just fine.
I stayed for 5 days but only saw her for about 3 days... She still hadn't told her parents about me, so, during my first trip out there, she had a good work/college-related reason to be away from home for so long, and we were literally able to spend every second of that week together... For THIS trip however, the planets were not aligned to allow that to work a second time, and so she was not able to stay with me over night, and for 2 of those 5 days, she was stuck at home and I was not able to see her at all. It was not the perfect trip, but, seeing her for the amount that I did was better than nothing at all... Leaving again to go home was hard still but, slightly less so than before. I flew home reassured that things were fine between us again.
Now, we arrive at the bad news, and the reason I stopping coming to LFAD...
During the next day, I was in my usual depressive state, missing her like crazy and sad that we didn't get to spend as much time together as I expected. THIS is when I needed her most... During those moments were when I really just needed to have communication with her, that's all, and...for reasons unknown to me at the time, she was not making an effort to contact me. When my plane landed the night before, and I had gotten to my car to drive home, I texted her, letting her know I was on my way home and that I missed her. It would have been passed 3am at that point for her, so, she was probably asleep and I didn't expect a reply but, the next day for sure I would have expected something... I got nothing. I was thinking to myself that, if the last thing someone I cared about texted me was "I'm on my way home" and, I didn't hear anything from them after that, I might be worried that they DIDN'T make it home...that they might have been in an accident or something... I mean, I just got off a long plane flight, it's late at night, I'm tired...getting in a car accident on the way home seems like an easy possibility. So, the expected response to that might be to, you know...find out if I got home safely right? Nope, I got nothing. No texts, no phone calls, no emails, nothing. I logged into the game we played annnd, she's online, buuut, nothing... Like I didn't exist. I decided I would just let the silence play out because that "snag" in our relationship that I mentioned earlier had to do with exactly this kind of issue - lack of communication, and, me trying to talk to her about it got me nowhere. I was forced to wait for her until she was ready.
I think it was about 2-3 days that went by without us really talking. It's been so long that I don't remember every detail so, we may have exchanged a few messages during that time but, nothing important, and nothing related to the issue. I was still going night after night without hearing from her. Finally, she sends me a message in-game "we need to talk." Yes, THAT dreaded set of words... I wanted to explode on her with something like "yeah, no shit" but I held back with a simple "ok." 5-10 minutes or so later, she calls me to tell me that, somehow, her mom sort of found out about us. She didn't know all the details but, she knew something was going on and confronted her about it. So, she told her mom about me, where I live and work, etc... The short and sweet of that confrontation is, her mom convinced her that I wasn't good enough for her... And, this wasn't a phone call to discuss how her mom might be wrong or how to make things work despite what her moms thinks, it was a phone call to tell me that we should probably go back to being friends (yes, THAT line...another classic). There was basically no discussion on it, her mind had already been made up and there was no way for me to change it. Despite everything we'd been through, everything we'd experienced, despite how perfectly everything had played out for us, the memories we created and the feelings we had for each other, it was as easy as that for her mom to rid our relationship of any value and make her forget it all ...she let her mom control her life and make the decision for her. I was helpless, and could do nothing.
Needless to say, it was over, and I was absolutely wrecked because of it... I didn't see a reason to posting on LFAD anymore, and certainly didn't want to come back with a sob post when the heat of my previous topics regarding the "snag" were still fresh on the forum. I figured that if I posted about what had just happened, everyone would assume that we broke up because we couldn't resolve that snag issue, but, that wasn't the case. And that's really the killer for me... We didn't break up because of typical things like not being able to get along, always fighting, etc... We broke up because that's what her mom wanted. We broke up because her mom, having never met me, and not knowing really anything about me, convinced her I wasn't good enough for her.
I really cared a lot about this girl. I did SO much...I put absolutely everything I had into our relationship... I dedicated myself completely to her and was certain my search for the love of my life was over... I'd never met anyone like her, and the way our relationship had developed was special, meaningful, and, unintended. Things just happened the way they did, and...I would have stayed with her forever.
Before this relationship, I had been through breakups before... I've been depressed and felt lonely plenty of times but, I had never truly felt heartbroken until this relationship came to an end. I had never felt so helpless or confused before, about how someone could throw away their own personal feelings and opinions SO EASILY, in favor of the feelings and opinions of their parent, who couldn't possibly have any real clue about the situation. Feelings, experiences and memories developed over the course of almost an entire year...so easily tossed aside and meaningless... This is something I still don't understand.
So...6 months later, and where am I now? Single, and not a second has gone by that my ex doesn't cross my mind. 6 months later and I am still no where near being over her... Every time I start to believe that I might finally be moving on, I'll have a dream about her. I have dreams where things are okay again between us, where things are normal... I also have dreams where things aren't okay, where I'm being ignored and avoided... And so, I wake up having re-experienced the joy, happiness and sadness of our relationship, and whatever progress I may have made towards moving on has been reset to zero. Even without the dreams, everything I do in my daily routine gives me some kind of reminder of her...things we did, places we went, conversations we had...everything... It's all freshly replayed in my mind as if it had just happened... I feel like I need to erase everything from my life and start over completely in order to get passed her. It's an impossibly difficult situation for me with no visible light at the end of the tunnel. I know the light is there but, when I'll start to see it, I have no idea...
So, that's my story...that's where I'm at and, I've come back with the hope that maybe talking with all of you again will help me find a way to move on or, at least distract myself with the company of good people here. My sister's husband was once in a relationship that he says took him 2 years to recover from...I hope that will not be the case with me...0_0
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Hello everyone, I hope you all are doing well! It's been about 6 months since I last posted here and a quick browse through the main forum made me smile to see some people I knew back then that helped me through some tough times and gave me great advice, are still active
When I was active here, I was in my first LDR with someone incredibly special I met through a game I played. We knew each other and talked for about 7-8 months before I made the trip out there to meet her. Everything about our meeting and the 7 days I stayed with her was absolutely perfect. There was not a single thing that went wrong... When you think of something that is too good to be true, imagine this trip taking that phrase a few steps further, passed the realm of "too good to be true" into something so much greater, and that's how this trip, as well as the connection between us, was. Everything clicked. The stars, the planets, the galaxies were all aligned exactly the way they needed to be... Leaving to fly back home was the hardest part...
A couple of weeks passed, during which we both decided officially that we wanted to be together for the long haul... Just 2 months later, I would be making another trip out to see her, though this one shorter, and a bit more spontaneous. I had told her how one of my favorite bands would be playing in her city, and how cool it would be if we could go see them. She liked the idea, and what started out as just a joke, turned into an actual trip out there to do just that! During the month or so before this trip however, our relationship hit a huge unnecessary snag, which, is documented here on LFAD...lol. Fortunately, it was mostly resolved before flying out there again. I got there expecting some sort of lingering awkwardness between us but, things turned out to be just fine.
I stayed for 5 days but only saw her for about 3 days... She still hadn't told her parents about me, so, during my first trip out there, she had a good work/college-related reason to be away from home for so long, and we were literally able to spend every second of that week together... For THIS trip however, the planets were not aligned to allow that to work a second time, and so she was not able to stay with me over night, and for 2 of those 5 days, she was stuck at home and I was not able to see her at all. It was not the perfect trip, but, seeing her for the amount that I did was better than nothing at all... Leaving again to go home was hard still but, slightly less so than before. I flew home reassured that things were fine between us again.
Now, we arrive at the bad news, and the reason I stopping coming to LFAD...
During the next day, I was in my usual depressive state, missing her like crazy and sad that we didn't get to spend as much time together as I expected. THIS is when I needed her most... During those moments were when I really just needed to have communication with her, that's all, and...for reasons unknown to me at the time, she was not making an effort to contact me. When my plane landed the night before, and I had gotten to my car to drive home, I texted her, letting her know I was on my way home and that I missed her. It would have been passed 3am at that point for her, so, she was probably asleep and I didn't expect a reply but, the next day for sure I would have expected something... I got nothing. I was thinking to myself that, if the last thing someone I cared about texted me was "I'm on my way home" and, I didn't hear anything from them after that, I might be worried that they DIDN'T make it home...that they might have been in an accident or something... I mean, I just got off a long plane flight, it's late at night, I'm tired...getting in a car accident on the way home seems like an easy possibility. So, the expected response to that might be to, you know...find out if I got home safely right? Nope, I got nothing. No texts, no phone calls, no emails, nothing. I logged into the game we played annnd, she's online, buuut, nothing... Like I didn't exist. I decided I would just let the silence play out because that "snag" in our relationship that I mentioned earlier had to do with exactly this kind of issue - lack of communication, and, me trying to talk to her about it got me nowhere. I was forced to wait for her until she was ready.
I think it was about 2-3 days that went by without us really talking. It's been so long that I don't remember every detail so, we may have exchanged a few messages during that time but, nothing important, and nothing related to the issue. I was still going night after night without hearing from her. Finally, she sends me a message in-game "we need to talk." Yes, THAT dreaded set of words... I wanted to explode on her with something like "yeah, no shit" but I held back with a simple "ok." 5-10 minutes or so later, she calls me to tell me that, somehow, her mom sort of found out about us. She didn't know all the details but, she knew something was going on and confronted her about it. So, she told her mom about me, where I live and work, etc... The short and sweet of that confrontation is, her mom convinced her that I wasn't good enough for her... And, this wasn't a phone call to discuss how her mom might be wrong or how to make things work despite what her moms thinks, it was a phone call to tell me that we should probably go back to being friends (yes, THAT line...another classic). There was basically no discussion on it, her mind had already been made up and there was no way for me to change it. Despite everything we'd been through, everything we'd experienced, despite how perfectly everything had played out for us, the memories we created and the feelings we had for each other, it was as easy as that for her mom to rid our relationship of any value and make her forget it all ...she let her mom control her life and make the decision for her. I was helpless, and could do nothing.
Needless to say, it was over, and I was absolutely wrecked because of it... I didn't see a reason to posting on LFAD anymore, and certainly didn't want to come back with a sob post when the heat of my previous topics regarding the "snag" were still fresh on the forum. I figured that if I posted about what had just happened, everyone would assume that we broke up because we couldn't resolve that snag issue, but, that wasn't the case. And that's really the killer for me... We didn't break up because of typical things like not being able to get along, always fighting, etc... We broke up because that's what her mom wanted. We broke up because her mom, having never met me, and not knowing really anything about me, convinced her I wasn't good enough for her.
I really cared a lot about this girl. I did SO much...I put absolutely everything I had into our relationship... I dedicated myself completely to her and was certain my search for the love of my life was over... I'd never met anyone like her, and the way our relationship had developed was special, meaningful, and, unintended. Things just happened the way they did, and...I would have stayed with her forever.
Before this relationship, I had been through breakups before... I've been depressed and felt lonely plenty of times but, I had never truly felt heartbroken until this relationship came to an end. I had never felt so helpless or confused before, about how someone could throw away their own personal feelings and opinions SO EASILY, in favor of the feelings and opinions of their parent, who couldn't possibly have any real clue about the situation. Feelings, experiences and memories developed over the course of almost an entire year...so easily tossed aside and meaningless... This is something I still don't understand.
So...6 months later, and where am I now? Single, and not a second has gone by that my ex doesn't cross my mind. 6 months later and I am still no where near being over her... Every time I start to believe that I might finally be moving on, I'll have a dream about her. I have dreams where things are okay again between us, where things are normal... I also have dreams where things aren't okay, where I'm being ignored and avoided... And so, I wake up having re-experienced the joy, happiness and sadness of our relationship, and whatever progress I may have made towards moving on has been reset to zero. Even without the dreams, everything I do in my daily routine gives me some kind of reminder of her...things we did, places we went, conversations we had...everything... It's all freshly replayed in my mind as if it had just happened... I feel like I need to erase everything from my life and start over completely in order to get passed her. It's an impossibly difficult situation for me with no visible light at the end of the tunnel. I know the light is there but, when I'll start to see it, I have no idea...
So, that's my story...that's where I'm at and, I've come back with the hope that maybe talking with all of you again will help me find a way to move on or, at least distract myself with the company of good people here.
My sister's husband was once in a relationship that he says took him 2 years to recover from...I hope that will not be the case with me...0_0
Whenever you give your heart completely and the relationship is ended so abruptly, it's so awful. I've had a hard time coming out of it too. Sometimes it is just going to take as long as it wants to, but one day you'll wake up and things will seem brighter - seemingly out of nowhere. So take it one day at a time and you'll get there. I hope it's a short wait, and you find a wonderful lasting happiness around your next corner.
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