Tearing out what hair I have left

[LadyMarchHare]

I thought I knew how, but it's only happened once before and we were already talking when it happened so there was no challenge of getting him to talk he just sort of lost it and I kept him in check calmly. But yeah, I'm more at ease now that I've heard from him.

[paulawriteslove]

But yeah, I'm more at ease now that I've heard from him.

That's what is important that you're more at ease and that he is okay!

[Čternity]

I'm so glad you made contact. It must be a relief. Thank you for letting us know. I'm relieved he is okay and you are both talking again.

[LadyMarchHare]

I just feel bad because essentially it was my doing because I let my best friend goad me into thinking this was more about me than him, that he needed to act x way and say x things and this was unacceptable, etc. I 'roid-rage when angry so that was usually when I would text him and after the first text he got scared to talk to me, which I understand. No one wants to talk to someone they think is mad at them. I think had I not said anything until morning on Saturday things might've went differently but oh well. I fixed what needed fixing and now it's just a matter of helping him when he wants the help all while apologizing.

[Silviar]

I just feel bad because essentially it was my doing because I let my best friend goad me into thinking this was more about me than him, that he needed to act x way and say x things and this was unacceptable, etc. I 'roid-rage when angry so that was usually when I would text him and after the first text he got scared to talk to me, which I understand. No one wants to talk to someone they think is mad at them. I think had I not said anything until morning on Saturday things might've went differently but oh well. I fixed what needed fixing and now it's just a matter of helping him when he wants the help all while apologizing.

Don't be so hard on yourself babe. You had no idea what was going on, and it's natural to wonder all of these things. If he loves you, he'll accept your first apology - more than that shouldn't be necessary. He was also in a bad place and not thinking clearly himself. And let's not forget that communicating in text only loses a certain amount of tone that helps a conversation along. The same words can be read very differently depending on a person's mood. Mistakes and miscommunications happen. What matters is that you got it/get it resolved.

I'm really glad you heard from him. I was worried about you both.

[LadyMarchHare]

Habit. I am both my own worst critic and used to blaming myself for everything, the latter being picked up from my beloved childhood.

In the end we were just equally upset and more than likely blamed ourselves just as equally, it's the curse of having similar thought patterns in these circumstances. We know what the other's essentially thinking but we're still the ones at fault not them, y'know? But I think it's been resolved since it's never taken much for him to get over whatever I may do if he's ever mad at me to begin with and I can forgive him and act like nothing's happened at the drop of a hat, which is unusual considering I'm known for holding grudges.

I think, when I can talk to him again, I'm going to suggest a visit as soon as his workload quiets down enough to allow it. Will do us some good and it won't take me long to save up again for January, especially if I get this job.

[Silviar]

I think that's a lovely idea.

And hey... my mom's friend has a saying that goes "If you have a vagina, you have guilt." I think she's on to something there. Women seem predisposed to the guilt thing, often for no good reason.

[LadyMarchHare]

Hahahaha, it's true. I suppose it's all in how the brain works, which is not my area of expertise.

[Silviar]

My mom had to tell me that when I felt upset and guilty over a friend who treated me poorly for years cutting me out of her life. You know it's whacked when you miss the ones who piss you off and hurt you. XD Forget it when it's someone you have mutual love for.