An Ironic Story. My LDR doesn't work out, how to get over all of this pain?

[dem&ter]

Well, I'm still sad though, when finally I wanted to try everything to make my LDR worked out, my SO (now an ex?) ended it. Not in any nice way. He just set his relationship status on Facebook up with being in relationship with someone else, obviously with his ex (The girl before me). It's confusing, I tried to call but he didn't pick it up. That time I realized this is totally over between us. And no, I won't even get any explanation from him and It's not worth it to try because I know I would being manipulated over and over again so I've decided to just get over it.

Any idea how to make this 'getting over' moment can be painless? I've tried to make myself busy. I'm still doing my project research and stuff. Making myself get distracted, for a moment it's good but then I'm starting to get mad again and lose my focus.

I've told my closest friends about it and get their supports but I still feel empty. The feeling is not so good.

[Lalilulelo]

First of all I am really sad hearing about your situation
I realy would like you to get better and I can tell you from my personal experience, what helped me in the past.
You have few options, among them - to go out - face yourself that you are a beautiful lady, flirt with men, feel how many opportunities do you have and how interesting is the world around you. You can also change something and I find it helpful, e.g. redecorate some parts of your place; buy something for your wardrobe, new haircut. Don't think about him, he is now a history and you can create your own better life with a person who is worth you

[dem&ter]

Thanks Lali! Yeah, after my research project finished I think I'll give myself a holiday.

[Irina_Linn]

First of all I am really sad hearing about your situation
I realy would like you to get better and I can tell you from my personal experience, what helped me in the past.
You have few options, among them - to go out - face yourself that you are a beautiful lady, flirt with men, feel how many opportunities do you have and how interesting is the world around you. You can also change something and I find it helpful, e.g. redecorate some parts of your place; buy something for your wardrobe, new haircut. Don't think about him, he is now a history and you can create your own better life with a person who is worth you

totally agree! and cant add more.we are here to support you so be strong and confident

[mangoluverin]

my experience in getting over someone:

no contact all the way. dont send anything/dont respond to any messages. block on fb/twitter/skype/email. any contact will set you back.
keep busy and go out.
accept that it takes times. you will feel sad, angry, depressed, cry a lot etc. there will be moments of calm and peace and happiness. then sad feelings will come again. it is like a rollercoaster. but the good feelings will last longer and longer each time.
try to keep thoughts distracted from person. i exercised a lot/wrote in journal/listened to a lot of music/watched a lot of good shows.
good luck! Know that you deserve better than someone who didnt have the courage to break up with you through a conversation.

[Biddlybiddlybombop]

I'm so sorry that that's happened to you. It's so unfair of your ex to not even talk to you.

Having said that, don't contact him. Don't give him the satisfaction. If he can't respect you enough or be man enough to give you the time of day to explain that he didn't want to carry on the relationship, he doesn't deserve any more of your time. Work on your project, take yourself on holiday and have a f**ing good time.

Of course it's going to hurt for a while, but if he treats you like this, it's not much of a loss on your part. What an absolute jerk. Not only can you do better, but you definitely will do better.

[dem&ter]

totally agree! and cant add more.we are here to support you so be strong and confident

Aww thanks I never used to be a cry baby but this time just.... Yeah, even though I've tried to be strong but still the way he treated me really makes me down.

Really thanks guyssss!

[dem&ter]

keep busy and go out.
accept that it takes times. you will feel sad, angry, depressed, cry a lot etc. there will be moments of calm and peace and happiness. then sad feelings will come again. it is like a rollercoaster.

THAT! It's totally like a rollercoaster! I do hate those feelings! I was even tempted to take some depression drugs, but no... Because it won't solve anything. So, right now I just need to be stronger and try myself to deal with it.

[dem&ter]

Of course it's going to hurt for a while, but if he treats you like this, it's not much of a loss on your part. What an absolute jerk. Not only can you do better, but you definitely will do better.

Another Ironic part is I'm psychologist (not working as a therapist though) but still I"m supposed to know a lot about human behavior and stuff. I should have known about he's not so great or even a dangerous person- for me at least. But I tried to trust him and ignore anything bad signs. Thats why I'm so angry for myself.

[Captivated]

Find a punching bag, pretend it's him and punch it. Not only is it a good way to get out all your anger but it will feel completely amazing. And keep thinking, it's his loss, not yours. What immature idiot does that over Facebook? What is he, 12?

[lyonsgirl]

Unfriend him. When my last serious relationship ended, we tried to stay friends. He couldn't (or wouldn't, I still don't know) give me a reason why he was ending it. We weren't fighting or anything, I thought we were happy. We got into a rather large argument and he told me "If we were to get married I know I would divorce you within a year" Well, isn't that just awesome.

When he got into a new relationship I felt dead inside, and so I unfriended him and then deactivated my account. I needed a break from the drama and stress that facebook was putting on me. I went out, met new people, had a good time.

[dem&ter]

Unfriend him. When my last serious relationship ended, we tried to stay friends. He couldn't (or wouldn't, I still don't know) give me a reason why he was ending it. We weren't fighting or anything, I thought we were happy. We got into a rather large argument and he told me "If we were to get married I know I would divorce you within a year" Well, isn't that just awesome.

When he got into a new relationship I felt dead inside, and so I unfriended him and then deactivated my account. I needed a break from the drama and stress that facebook was putting on me. I went out, met new people, had a good time.

Thanks! Done that. I've totally blocked him over my Facebook, Skype, Phone, and all of my email accounts. My Facebook is still active though, I can't deactivated it because I still have another friends there and I don't want to make people think I'm the only person who lose on his game. So, I just not giving a f**k to him and his new-old gf. He can do anything he wants and if he's happy good for him. I'll find my way to be happy too and of course I can. That's it.