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Another visit over...and I don't feel sad?

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    Another visit over...and I don't feel sad?

    When Stephen and I first met, after he went home after his three day visit, I spiraled into this obnoxious depression for like two weeks. Well we just finished up his second visit, and he was here the whole week. The weird thing is that I don't really feel all that sad? I feel so happy that we had an amazing visit. Now we're back to Skyping and talking on the phone and texting. I do miss him, and I miss having him here, but I just don't feel sad about it. I'm super excited that he'll be here for EIGHT days in June! June 1st-8th! I guess knowing that already just takes away my sadness.

    Well anyway, long story short we had the best visit! Unfortunately, my grandfather passed away while Stephen was here. But he happily spent almost every day of our visit at my grandma's house with all the extended family, meeting people, and being a support. He was so great to my family and it just made me feel very blessed.




    #2
    So happy that you had a good visit with your SO! I have noticed that times when my SO leaves and we have our next visit set up makes it alot easier!

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      #3
      It's a lot easier when you leave with a plan already organised for the next visit.

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        #4
        Great that you had an awesome visit... Its probably because of your already ahving a plan that you are not feeling sad..

        BTW you two make a cute couple

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          #5
          I think it's great that you have a plan in place! I'd say that's one of the major reasons your not sad

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            #6
            Agree with what everyone else says, having a plan for the next visit makes things sooo much easier!
            Si tu n'etais pas la
            Comment pourrais-je vivre
            Je ne connaitrais pas
            Ce bonheur qui m'enivre
            Quand je suis dans tes bras
            Mon coeur joyeux se livre
            Comment pourrais-je vivre
            Si tu n'etais pas la

            Love that will not betray you, dismay or enslave you. It will set you free.
            Home could be anywhere when I am holding you

            "DONT RUIN MY DREAM OF MINITURE HIPPOS"

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              #7
              My last visit with my guy in England ended in me bawling my eyes out and crying all the way home even though I knew the next time we would see each other we were closing the distance and getting married lol guess I'm just a big ole baby

              Met: November 19, 2010
              Tim came to Texas: April 27, 2011
              Made it official: April 29, 2011
              Lori went to England: September 21, 2011
              Mini trip to Paris: September 22, 2011
              Tim popped the question: September 22, 2011
              K-1 Visa approved!: May 21, 2012
              Closed the distance!: July 26, 2012
              Got married: September 22, 2012

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                #8
                It's most likely because you know when the next visit is and already have plans made. The first time I went to Russia to visit my husband in the Summer of 2011, I stayed for 6 weeks, and it was the worst feeling ever to leave. We both cried so much and it took us a few weeks to get out of the funk. We begun the process of applying for a K-1 visa for him, but we didn't have any idea how it would go or how long it would take. We had tentative plans laid out for a visit in November of 2011, but hadn't set the plans in stone yet for various reasons, so it was much, much harder to separate. When I left to come back home after visiting for two weeks in November of 2011, it was much easier. I was still sad and still shed some tears, but it wasn't nearly as heartwrenching as the first time coming back. We were already several months into waiting on our K-1, and we knew that it would most likely just be 3 or 4 more months until closing the distance. We were more hopeful and saw the light at the end of the tunnel so to speak. So I think it's normal that you're not feeling as bummed about it this time. Your next visit isn't too far off.

                I'm sorry to hear of your grandfather's passing. *hugs* It's so wonderful that you have an SO who really stepped up and proved he can be there for you and be a rock for you during sad and difficult times.
                Last edited by SquishyLove; March 31, 2013, 11:29 AM.

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                  #9
                  Thanks everyone for your responses! I guess it really does help, because when he left last time we didn't think he was coming back until June. But now I know that in exactly two months he'll be here! Yaay! Hapyp easter!



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                    #10
                    Originally posted by Captivated View Post
                    My last visit with my guy in England ended in me bawling my eyes out and crying all the way home even though I knew the next time we would see each other we were closing the distance and getting married lol guess I'm just a big ole baby
                    Haha! THIS sounds EXACTLY like me... Even down to the leaving from England part..! I always cry at the end of a trip..

                    I cried/took a few weeks to feel normal after my last trip, although we knew it would be about 7 months before we could close the distance and get married.. I still thought I would deal with it easier! but I guess I was just finding it hard KNOWING it was 7 months until all that. We've always had short gaps (1-4months) between trips so 7 is hard for us! I was prepared to do it though.. until we decided to meet up in Hawaii for a holiday - will make the remaining 5ish months easier

                    anyway!

                    Bethy, I'm sorry about your grandfather, it must have been nice to have your SO there to go through that with you, I know when anything important/hard in our lives happen all we want is for our SOs to be with us so it's very special that you got to have that through that terrible moment in your life. I think that going through something like that and having your SO there for you really can strengthen a relationship in ways we didn't even know it could.

                    And maybe not being sad after the trip is a good thing? I know I dread the horrible crying for days and taking weeks to feel back to normal.. it would be a blessing not to feel so sad! We once had only a month between when I left the UK and when he was visiting Aus again (it was unusual, we had planned a holiday with my family AFTER we booked my trip to him, so they ended up being close together) and I still cried and took awhile to feel like me again, although it was A LOT easier.. having plans for the next trip by the end of the visit is a MUST for me, its an LDR rule we have followed
                    Met Online: February 2009
                    Feelings grew: January 2011
                    First met in person: 4 April - 16 April 2011
                    Officially together since: 4th of April 2011
                    Second visit: 29 June - 1 August 2011
                    Third visit: 28 September - 15 October 2011
                    Fourth visit: 19 January - 25 February 2012
                    Fifth visit: 24 March - 12 April 2012
                    Sixth visit: 2 June - 7 July 2012
                    Engaged: 1st of July 2012
                    Seventh visit: 27 August - 23 September
                    Visa lodged: 5th of November 2012
                    Eighth visit: 8 December 2012 - 12 January 2013
                    Visa granted: 8th of May 2013
                    Hawaii: 19 May - 2 June 2013
                    Closed the distance: 16th of July 2013

                    Married my Englishman on the 4th of October 2013

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                      #11
                      Well, now that it's been a few day, I am feeling a bit sad. Look forward to June, though!



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                        #12
                        I do agree that it is a bit easier when there is a plan, or another visit already set up. At least you will be seeing him again in June!

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                          #13
                          Especially because the next visit is a full eight days!



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                            #14
                            I start crying a few weeks before the end of my time approaches each time. I miss him like crazy the whole time away from him. I always have the next trip planned but, I am not cut out to be in a LDR. It has been over 2 years since we met and I still see the sad look on his face at the airport last time I left. I hate sleeping without him each night. I hate watching TV alone, and eating alone. I have other friends but I just always miss him. I try not to let him know how sad I get but then I wake up to a text from him that says "I miss you baby" and I melt again.
                            "Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. "
                            Benjamin Franklin

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