I need some advice

[matt0680]

well yeah thats what i was thinking, its been a month now..i guess she still needs more time. but thanks for all ur responses

[MTK]

A month? That is a long time for her to hold a grudge. Is there anyway that you can get some time with her and get her to talk about what is going on with her. Don't try and bring up what you have done but just ask about her and let her do the talking, if she wants, that is.

[Bluestars]

First of all, I am kind of wondering what you did wrong several times that she is really mad about. I guess that could put things in perspective because some things are not as big as others. For all I know, it could be that you did something really bad, or she just gets irritated easily and has decided that you guys are not compatible, or she could just be using that as an excuse.

But from what you have posted about her, it does not sound like she is interested in rekindling the relationship, so I suggest that you try to cut contact with her until you can heal. In my opinion, trying to remain her friend will only hurt you in the long run because you will always be looking for some hope that you two will get back together, which she doesn't seem to want. Take some time to yourself, and you can try being her friend in a few months when you have thought things out. *hugs* Sorry that sounds harsh, but I really believe that would be in the best interest of you.

[matt0680]

mostly its because sometimes ive got angry, saying something, then regretting it soon after. thats the main issue here i think, thing is she wont talk much atall, not even small talk. its true what you said..trying to be her friend is not working right now, thank you for being honest

[MTK]

Time apart might do you guys good, you know, give her time to miss you and think things through. That way you both can figure out where you stand with each other.

[matt0680]

i think it might, ive been contacting her every 2-3days since it happened, which isnt exactly giving us much time appart atall really, i hope things work out. thanks everyone

[annamorgan]

Well if she really doesn't want to be with you and keep up with a LDR, then you can't force her. You should support her decisions and want her to be happy NO MATTER WHAT because you love her. I think you should talk to her and at least try to be friends so you can keep in contact with her. Who knows, maybe her love with rekindle with time and she'll realize she misses what you two had. You just need time and patience.

[matt0680]

i wouldnt want to force this ever on her, ive already accepted it. i just want her to be happy and she knows this. i was thinking the same thing, maybe with time it might rekindle

[LadyMarchHare]

If she cares about you, I think the time apart, especially if you cut contact completely for maybe a week, she will see how much she misses you and will say something and maybe then you two could work out the kinks and dents. Right now though she doesn't see that she's become the one hurting the relationship. You're a good guy, everyone messes up and love tends to mean forgiveness on most things. I can't say all since me personally the guy would be gone if he cheated on me no contest. But you've made the effort to make up for it and she's taken it for granted. So yeah, some breathing room will do you both good and hopefully things will turn out alright.

[matt0680]

thank you for your kind words , i'll update this sometime next week, if anything happens. wish me luck, and thanks again

[matt0680]

Ok so i did the whole -non contact for a week thing, today she messages me to talk about nothing,she initiates contact but then doesn't respond back to me.after about 10mins i left saying, cya and take care. i think shes playing some sort of game maybe testing me to see if i react to this. what would be the next best steps to take after this? thx

[MTK]

You should talk to her and figure out if she wants to be in a ldr with you.

[LadyMarchHare]

Ok so i did the whole -non contact for a week thing, today she messages me to talk about nothing,she initiates contact but then doesn't respond back to me.after about 10mins i left saying, cya and take care. i think shes playing some sort of game maybe testing me to see if i react to this. what would be the next best steps to take after this? thx

So she messaged you and didn't reply back? Sounds to me like she was either seeing if you were really there or if you would ignore her if she talked first. If you feel like you can talk to her again, I'd message her and ask her what that was about. If she brings up the silence then that shows it at least bothered her for some reason whether she missed you or missed the attention. My guess at this point is the latter if she didn't even hold a 5 minute conversation. It would seem, to me, if you miss someone and all of a sudden you get the chance to talk you'd be all over the IM window proverbially bouncing like a 5 year old after a sugar intake. If you feel you could go longer with the silence whether to give yourself more time to think or to see if things would escalate to the desired reaction of being missed/her realizing something's up and wanting to know what, then go for it. It can go either way since right now you don't know what she's feeling or her perception of you not talking.

[matt0680]

well shes done it the last 3 times ive contacted her, we talk for a little while, but then after she stops replying, its defently on purpose because she never normaly does this..i suppose i could continue on with the whole non-contacting her for a little longer, but not anything more

[matt0680]

Ok so heres what happened, ive not contacted her all for the last week and on saturday she posted a comment on my facebook saying ' i got ur letter ,thanks
is very nice but i cant coment bout it with you cuz ure never online anymore :/'. i left it a few days to reply to her, i didnt wana be rude and leave it to long. So when i did make contact with her it turns out she read it a second time and now has nothing to say about it. Confusing or what?