my heart and his

[fairj]

I am a 33 year old nurse assistant. I have tried the online Christian dating sites off and on for a few years, no success..until now. As corny or absurd other may feel about how far away this man lives, may be the right point of view but It doesn't seem so. I met this man online, I was about to take my site down yet again and he messaged me. we are both off the site and comminucate through fb everyday and Skype. our first Skype interaction lasted for 7 hrs. we are both falling for each and are scared because we don't know how to meet, since we are both not wealthy..he lives in Egypt, and me Michigan..what to do ...............

[Jazi]

A lot of us in LDRs don't have an exact plan from beginning to end; you just fall for them and figure it out as you go. There are actually quite a few members on here who didn't have the ability to meet their SOs in person for quite a long time, yet they were committed to their relationships until they could finally make that first meet. Some members still are yet to meet.

I can't talk from any experience myself, as myself and my SO were friends for over 2 years before we realised we wanted to meet, organised to meet and then decided to have a relationship from there, so we were very lucky with our timing, it all fell into place.

LDRs are very hard, even if you can meet, you have to be able to maintain the visits and then somehow close the distance.. I'd just say it's best to take it one step at a time and decide if you are/will be committed to making it work, once you decide what you want you can figure out all the logistics as you go..

[Moon]

It is very possible to be in an international LDR, you don't have to be wealthy, but it is an expensive proposition, so you need to plan very carefully, and decide if this relationship is really worth the sacrifices you'll both have to make. You have to be prepared to be away from him most of the time, and be OK with that, and alright with being relatively lonely a lot. It's not always easy, but it can definitely be done, if you can manage to meet periodically. Also, if you're looking for marriage and children, be aware that closing the distance can be quite a difficult, expensive and long process, at least if you wanted to close it in the US.

You just need to weigh out the pros and cons for yourself, before getting in too deep. If you think it's worth trying, then go for it. I've been doing it for about 4 years, and I'm very happy in my relationship, it just takes some getting used to. Take a little time to think and see if you can work it out. Good luck.

[dragonlady]

i am not wealthy to but i try to save from my groccery money 10 bucks every week, its not fast but if you want something bad enough you make it happen!

[Catface]

Everyone above makes great points. As far as money goes, I work a minimum wage job and have cut out a lot of my spending in order to travel to Europe to see my SO. Some days I hate not having the extra to myself but you have to look at it positively. I'm not wasting money on junk, I'm buying only what I'll use and traveling out of the country for the first time and into my SO's arms will be ABSOLUTELY worth sacrificing some little things.

As far as time and loneliness goes, if you let it, being in a LDR can make you a well rounded person. You learn to be comfortable being on your own. You learn to have faith (either religiously or in yourself/your SO). You learn patience, understanding and your own value. If you look at your LDR from a negative point of view, all you'll get is negativity.

I recommend coming to this site often. I dont post much but I love coming and seeing the support group it has. Makes me feel lighter on my darker days.

[garnet]

My ex SO and I were in an international LDR. We both held minimum wage or just a bit higher jobs. We saved all we could, I sold things that I miss - but it was money. Eventually we were able to do the K1 visa, he moved to the US to be with me, we married, had a baby... so it can happen. The best things are tons of communication, and visits because you never know if the spark is there IRL or not. Good luck to you!

[pretty ll vacant]

Exactly what Jazi said. It sucks going a long time without meeting but if the two of you are truly dedicated to each other you'll wait it out. My bf and I knew each other for almost 2 years, and had been a couple for 1 year before we ever actually met each other in person. Just take things slow, look at the bright side of waiting; it gives you the opportunity to fully know and love each other inside and out. My bf and I knew we'd fallen head over heels in love with each other by the time our first visit approached, so it just made the first time that much more awesome. :]