Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

My parents don't understand...

Collapse
X
 
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts

    My parents don't understand...

    Hello people, I'm in a trouble to meet my SO. It's not about the money, it's not about not being ready, it's not the actual the distance but it's my family. As soon as I said the word 'girlfriend' my mother actually started laughing because even though I've had many girlfriends in my life, I never wanted to admit it to my family. Nearly 22 years later, I did it for the first time and that was the reaction.
    So, You can only imagine what was their reaction when I told her that it was a foreigner and I wanted to visit her in her home country. "oh, do You think we are going to let You to go just like that? Bare in mind, I'm only a 21 years old CHILD "who is she?", "Met her on the Internet? Must be some stupid little girl, crazy, must be hiding things!" oh, let's not talk about their reaction when they found out she was Lithuanian(They don't really have a good reputation in Europe) "She's a whore!" "Oh, they are from Ex Sovietic Union, she must be fucked up, her family will kidnap You" bla bla bla. Yes Mum, I think the first person who's someone will think about messing with is a 6''3 230lbs weightlifter but okay.
    My parents would never allow her to be here, in my house and certainly would never let me go to her and they would find a way to know it would be with her that I stayed because they are very controllable.
    I'm 21 years old and unfortunately, due to economy issues, I don't have a job plus my parents pay my university and my food(I just wish my parents didn't live 5 minutes away from my university, I've to live with them :\ )
    Now, the money for the trip is mine, I earned it on summer and stuff but still, if I do something they don't accept, I'm screwed. What should I do people?
    I've fought about flying to London(it's cheap for me and for her and I could slowly transact that amount of money out of my bank account without my parents even noticing) but we could probably only be together for a day or two max, otherwise they would be suspicious.
    Thanks.
    Last edited by Andr3w; April 9, 2013, 07:52 PM.

    #2
    I had the same issues with my parents.
    They thought my boyfriend was a rapist, he was going to kidnap me and murder me. I would be alone and would die on the street. My father told me if I leave without his permission I am not his daughter anymore. So I know where you are coming from.

    What I did was:
    I talked about it. I talked about him, I answered all their questions, I showed them pictures and made them see that he is in fact a real person and cares about me. It took them almost 10 months to understand this (and I still sometimes have troubles with them) but atleast I was able to visit him for 11 days and came back un-raped un-killed lol

    You have to make it clear to your parents that she is a real person. Talk about her. Show them why you love her. Show them what you know about her. Answer their questions. And make sure they do not call her a whore ever again. She is your girlfriend and deserves respect.

    It will take time and it will be extremely painful for you, but it will be worth it. Give them a chance to get to know her.
    Last edited by snow; April 9, 2013, 07:55 PM.

    Relationship began: 05/22/2012
    First Met: 03/21/2013 - 03/30/2013
    Second Visit: 06/06/2013 - 08/21/2013 ~ Proposal: 07/06/2013 ♥
    Third Visit: 10/09/2013 - 01/08/2013
    Closed the distance: 11/20/2014 ♥
    Married: 1/24/2015
    Became Resident: 9/14/2015

    Comment


      #3
      Originally posted by snow View Post
      I had the same issues with my parents.
      They thought my boyfriend was a rapist, he was going to kidnap me and murder me. I would be alone and would die on the street. My father told me if I leave without his permission I am not his daughter anymore. So I know where you are coming from.

      What I did was:
      I talked about it. I talked about him, I answered all their questions, I showed them pictures and made them see that he is in fact a real person and cares about me. It took them almost 10 months to understand this (and I still sometimes have troubles with them) but atleast I was able to visit him for 11 days and came back un-raped un-killed lol

      You have to make it clear to your parents that she is a real person. Talk about her. Show them why you love her. Show them what you know about her. Answer their questions. And make sure they do not call her a whore ever again. She is your girlfriend and deserves respect.

      It will take time and it will be extremely painful for you, but it will be worth it. Give them a chance to get to know her.
      I'm trying, I just wish they understood it now because in 10 days I've 1 week holidays and it would be perfect time to visit her but yea, doesn't seem to be happening.
      Believe me, the minute they called her a whore I just said "It's enough, I'm not going to sit here and hear this from You both" , I just left, went to my room and called her saying it will probably not happen :\
      Thanks

      Comment


        #4
        Then you're on the right way!
        Let them know about your plans and let them know that you saved money to visit her! It's what I did. They said they wouldn't pay for it so I told them I had my own money and I will pay for it myself. In time they will understand. Just be open about it and talk to them.
        Plus: There's probably a person you like to talk to more than the other - for example I trust my dad more than my mom, so I always tried to talk to him first because I felt he could help me. So try this too!

        Good luck!

        Relationship began: 05/22/2012
        First Met: 03/21/2013 - 03/30/2013
        Second Visit: 06/06/2013 - 08/21/2013 ~ Proposal: 07/06/2013 ♥
        Third Visit: 10/09/2013 - 01/08/2013
        Closed the distance: 11/20/2014 ♥
        Married: 1/24/2015
        Became Resident: 9/14/2015

        Comment


          #5
          I know how you feel, Andr3w
          I'm the same age as you, and when my mom and stepdad found out about my SO, they were furious.
          They said all this horrible stuff about him...that he only was with me to get a greencard, he doesn't love me, he's just using me for sex, etc.
          It made me feel like crap and I was so upset with them at first, but guess what? Over time, they came to accept it!

          You are a grown man and you have the right to make your own decisions about seeing your SO. If it's your money, then you have the right to spend it however you choose! I'm sure you love your parents and they love you too, but at some point, you have to make your own decisions.
          Just give it some time and they will probably come around. In the meantime, keep your head up and stay focused on what you want

          Comment

          Working...
          X