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    How do you cope?

    When being in a Long Distance Relationship, I'm sure many of you go through many emotions.
    I'm seeing my fiancé in less than two weeks, but I just feel really down. I can't wait to see him,
    but I just miss him so much and he's away to sleep now and I feel like I've no one to talk to. I just
    want to talk to him, hear his voice.

    How do you cope when you feel there's no-one to talk to at the time when you're feeling
    down/sad?
    [CENTER]

    #2
    I always try to keep myself occupied with hobbies, movies, etc. If I'm super bored I'll even msg really old friends on facebook and see what they have been up to.

    Sometimes though, I hate to admit it... but I'll purposely watch or read something sad just to cry. Usually happens every 6mths or so.. It's just a nice release of all the tension and sadness that life can bring on.
    Just be glad we made it here alive
    On a spinning ball in the middle of space

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      #3
      I've been feeling like this a lot lately. I wont be seeing my fiance until his visa is approved... assuming it is. And that isn't until summer. It's hard knowing our visits are over. His new job seems mostly opposite shifts as mine, meaning we just lost most of our online time together too. I'm not big on going out, I'm totally broke, and don't really have any friends that live around here anymore.
      To get through it, I mostly try to distract myself. I play farmville on facebook. I watch the golden girls (I can't explain this... it just a nice diversion). I just sit and chill with my dog. Email with friends. Sometimes I'll work on a new project for or with Rane. Or go through all of his old cards, letters, and gifts. That makes me smile. Lately, I've been trying to ready for his move a little bit... making space for him, but that scares me, I don't want to jinx it.
      Long distance just sucks. It's a miserable experience and I wish none of us had to experience it.

      Comment


        #4
        Hmm. I do what everyone else here has said- distract myself, watch TV, play around on Facebook, do other hobbies I enjoy. =] Just keep busy, before you know it, you'll be talking to him again. Maybe try not looking at the time? When I do that it feels like I'm almost counting the hours, and that can be really discouraging.

        The one unique thing I do is my letters. I did it every day for a while, but now I only do it when I miss him and he won't be back for a while or I have something important to say. I write an epic letter, sometimes five pages long, detailing my feelings about him at the moment. If we've had a bad argument and I want to strangle him, I write that. If I'm feeling jealous or needy or paranoid, I write it. If he is my best friend and he's made me laugh, I write it. If I just love him so much and I can't explain it, I write and I try to explain it the best I can. But the thing is, he never reads the letters. He hardly even knows I write them, I think. My plan is when we reach "the end of the road", I will print them all out, seal them up and date them, then give them to him in one giant stack. No one knows the future; maybe I will just be mailing them years later when for some reason I've realized we're not talking anymore; maybe we will be best friends but not romantically involved and when he gets engaged to someone else, I'll give them to him so we can remember all the good times we've had together. But my favorite idea is that, if we do work out, the night before our wedding we'll sit down and read all of them together. =]

        </hopeless romantic>

        In all practicality, it definitely helps you release some of your feelings. -nods-
        Last edited by Veiled_Dreamer; January 30, 2010, 12:24 PM.

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          #5
          Awww Velied_Dreamer, I think your letters idea is awesome!

          And as for missing my SO, well I admit I'm a bit of a crybaby so I'll just let myself have a good cry and I'll feel a bit better after that. I find that if I hold back the tears, it makes me feel even worse. There's nothing you can do about missing your SO, and it's only natural! Distracting yourself is good. Throwing yourself into studies/work is also a good idea too because it leaves you so busy you can't think about anything else.

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            #6
            Whenever I miss my SO, I just try to keep myself distracted.. reading, video games, TV, anything really. It helps some, but not as much as I'd like. :/ His phone and internet goes out quite a bit so there will be days where I can't talk to him... I do my best to keep a positive train of thought.

            However, I suggest keeping some chocolate/something sweet around, just in case you do have one of the inevitable cries. @_@

            Also, Veiled_Dreamer, I LOVE that idea. :3 I would love to do something like that.

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              #7
              Distraction is the key; most of the time I just drown myself in video games and TV shows. But when the feeling of missing your partner just becomes too much to bear, don't be afraid to to let it out and have a good cry - it always makes me feel better.

              @ech0z: This is a kinda off-topic, but hurray for the Weighted Companion Cube. :P I love Portal.

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                #8
                Just cry your eyes out and before you know it you'll feel better, let it all out and then start doing something that'll distract you from thinking about him. I go out with my dogs, see my horses, play a game with my daughter or sometimes just go to sleep and when I wake up I feel like a different person. Try reading an addictive book in bed, that's a great way to not dwell on the sad feelings when you're in bed alone.

                In here you're never alone and there's always someone to talk to


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                  #9
                  Yeah, I wanted to say that, too: post here! I definitely do that. And I cry. I've been back from my visit for two weeks and this time, it's really hard on me. I don't feel like doing anything, I have to force myself to eat, I don't sleep well (have nightmares) and I'm constantly on the verge of tears, even when talking to my friends about unrelated topics.
                  So, I don't really know what business I have giving advice (especially since you've been LD for much longer than me), but I think it still helps to be with friends. If you can (sadly, I can't, even though I really consider getting netflix or something), watch TV... I don't know why it helps, but it does. Reading doesn't do much for me right now, my misery will just distract me from reading. If you only have two more weeks to go - go on and count the days, too! I know, time passes excruciatingly slowly, but really, two weeks are so short. The last two weeks before I went home, I was full of excitement and joy - just enjoy that there's something to look forward to in the very near future!

                  Comment


                    #10
                    Maybe try and learn a new thing, so that you can impress your significant other the next time you see them...

                    Currently, we're apart for an indeterminate amount of time, so I've actually been learning how to play the guitar. I have an acoustic guitar that's basically been sitting in its case most of the time I've had it. So, somebody printed out lessons for me and I've been trying to figure out how to play it.

                    It doesn't have to be a musical instrument however...you can learn a new language (depending on the amount of time you have apart, you can get anywhere from a basic grasp to pure fluency!), learning to draw, basically anything under the sun you want to explore. You'll impress your significant other and learn something new while you're missing them!
                    National Novel Writing Month Participant- 2010, 2011, 2012
                    National Novel Writing Month Winner- 2010, 2011, 2012

                    Current Writing Project: Wait Until Next Year

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                      #11
                      I am horrible about this stuff. Feeling alone happens to me alot. There are times I have called up my fiance in the middle of the night because I cant sleep. I always feel awful about waking him up when im being a dumb crybaby but at least he always tries to cheer me up, even when he has to work the next day. I try to keep myself busy most of the time by reading books, doing craft projects and watching movies online. The craft projects have become pretty fun because I have been compiling them to send to him in a huge box of things that are related to places we have gone together. For example we took a day trip to Toldeo Zoo when I went to Michigan back in August and I took a ton of pictures. I had All of the printed and made a photo album of our day together. Its little things like this that have been keeping me sane because as of right now we wont be able to see each other until June when I move across the country. We are both trying to save money so we can pay for motels along the trip and first and last months rent on a place. I cant tell you how many times I have wanted to just spend the cash I have saved right now and fly to him. But I always think about it and realize it would just keep me away from him longer if I did.

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                        #12
                        All of the above ^^;; Basically anything that will occupy me for a bit. It's not always the most productive thing... I end up watching entire seasons of Britain and Australia's Next Top Model. I can't really explain it, but I guess I like it because I can't relate to anything in it. There's not many references to couples and I frankly don't care about what happens to any of the 'characters'. There's also something amusing about their little spats in the house they live in. I've seen the American ones and I don't care for the Canadian ones (if anyone's wondering why I watching BNTM and AusNTM). If I'm caught up I'll venture to Project Runway lol Sometimes I watch movies, but I found most of them end up with me more depressed and missing him. But these are temporary solutions when I'm just normally missing him. I also don't have many friends here anymore. They've either moved or we've drifted apart. :/ This place has been a good place to go to because you guys understand what it's like. And I dunno, I prefer talking to people who are also in serious relationships when I'm in one. I get tired of people rolling their eyes at me when I talk about us or getting upset because they're single.

                        When I'm feeling really down and I miss him a lot (usually around PMS time -_-;; ) I leave him gmail voice messages. I've only done it about 3 times. And I'll just ramble to him about how I'm feeling and let things out. Usually by the end of it I feel some relief and can at least go to sleep. Then when I wake up the next day he's usually listened to it by then and can comfort me and be the sweet guy he is. ^^

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