Fear of What....

[okapi]

Remember I posted a thread that abt my SO, we used to chat or contact with each everyday but not much since a month ago, he will get online for a short while, for what i noticed, he used to get online ... for example, monday, then he disappears the next day, and get back to for sometimes on wednesday.

Like I said b4, I do understand he busy in work muchly, not complaining or else.
And I do feel we love each in our chat, just feel not enough every time.

but insecure and uncertain sometimes come up for both of us (as we would chat for everything), like he worry i meet other guy and i worry he has other gals likewise.

and i feel more worry after read those threads here abt couples break up recently
and i afraid he gets used to don't have me, my existance not so important now....

feel like i send him email / msg everyday, becos i miss him so much.
but nth from him, thus i don't know he misses me or not.
I asked him did he love me less, he said impossible
maybe just i think and worry too much

[alise120]

I feel the same way!

I would send him text msms, emails, and pics everyday so I'll let him know that I'm still there for him. He does the same but he has been busy more since his summer job is very demanding (ugh....). He can't talk to me for long hours like he used to when we first started out. I always got worried at the fact that he might see someone else who is more closer to him and ignore and break up with me. Plus there has been a lot of break ups around this forum lately that it doesn't help with my worry situation any better. Like you this always boggles in my mind like a bad memory.

What I suggest that will help you not worry so much: keep yourself busy with activities you like, hang around your friends, and be around your family as well. Things that will take your mind off the negative stuff. It should mostly work and keep you from feeling down like that. The major thing it does is to distract you in a good way. I hope my little advice will work for you. I'm here if you need someone to talk to, just message me.

[LadyMarchHare]

Work takes away my time to talk with my SO too, often for a week or two at a time. It's very hard but it doesn't mean that they're going to be used to not having you 'around'. In fact he may miss you as much as you do him and you never know, it may be the thought of you that gets him through the rough days.

The fear of cheating on both sides, I think, needs to be talked out. Any relationship requires trust and to think they may be cheating on you or even thinking about cheating shows that deep down neither of you truly trust each other. Is he doing anything that might give you reason to believe it could ever be true, such as talking about other girls a lot or complimenting them? Even if he doesn't you two need to find time to figure out how you can stop these fears and trust one another or the paranoia will eat up the both of you.

It's very possible work keeps him from replying to your messages. I know I text my guy every day and it's very rare he can reply back, which is sometimes really sad because then I'm not sure if he saw the message or not, but it doesn't mean there's less love. It sounds to me like you're just very lonely without him and could use a bit more reassurance from time to time. Maybe ask him to message you back at least once a week if he has time?

[Silviar]

I think it's important to talk about your insecurities and get to the root of why you think he might see other girls. Is there particular instances that trigger these worries, for example? think about what you need specifically and concretely from him to help alleviate your loneliness and worry, and ask him if he can do those things. Maybe it's just texting you once or twice a week, maybe it's sending you an email or a goodnight kiss every night... whatever it is, talk it out with him and see if you can get what you need from him and your relationship.

Also, I would recommend making sure you have a full social life outside of your boyfriend. It's easy in LDR to become obsessed with letting all of your free time be about your SO. You need a well-rounded life.

[okapi]

mmmmm..... I do admit that I think that becos of i get used to chat with him everyday b4, during the working hour, we chat chat chat till he back home
(becos of time difference).
also I just stay home mostly as i SHOULD concentrate on my study... urgh...... but i can't keep thinking of his things

actually i know he do all the best he can (i believe), as he would msg me afterwards
the thing i concern is he would very nervous for can't keep his promises b4 but seem not now (he promises to contact me everyday), he would call me when he can't get online but not now.

Maybe i just too fear he would dump me, as i plan to find him a few months later.

I would feel much better when chat with him. i know it

[paulawriteslove]

I think that you should tell your SO how you're feeling. Whenever something is bothering me, I tell my SO and we talk it out before it becomes something big. My advice to you is to tell your SO what's going on in your head.

[okapi]

yes, i did. i told him my worry, and he said the same worry to me.
also he replied he work like crazy though, i should know it .... and he said why i always think he so bad .....

actually i feel he has no time is the most large problem to me, as i can't talk with him well.
which i need it so much, last time when i want to discuss some serious stuffs with him, his network has problem again and offline, so frustrate of it but i could say i get used to it already.

the feeling is so weird that i would expect he would not show up if i wait for long time.