Need Advice And Help :(

[AaronH]

Ive been in a LDR for a Year and a Half.
My Girlfriend if just going through her A-Levels and I was diagnosed with Depression.

Last night my Girlfriend messaged me saying we need to talk.
She said she cant cope being in a LDR and doing her A-Levels, and shes going to have to either break up with me or have "months off" from the relationship.

I said I would rather us talk about whats making the relationship so hard for her, but she was adamant she wanted a break there was no changing her mind.

So were now on on a "break", She says I can talk to her as "Only A friend" nothing more until shes done her exams.

It hurts me so much and my life condition doesn't help me in how I'm feeling over this.

She then added, She only wants to get back together if she feels the same after the break.

How can I show her I love her?
How can I win her back?

My depression hasn't helped and i feel like that's pushing her away as well.

Thanks

[libelle]

Hey I am sorry to hear about the situation that you are in. I hope I can be useful to you by sharing some personal experience

A little while ago I too had to do my finals. I never considered breaking up with SO, but that doesn't mean I wasn't stressed as hell, on the verge of exploding/crying all the time, I wanted to do a good job at school since I'm 12th grade it is very important.. My parents expected amazing results as well, like always. And as much as I had to study and concentrate, I was missing SO, so I basically went to school, studied all day when I got back, then talked to him all night slept 3 hours then got up again and all over. It made me even more nervous and sensitive, and I was a total mess.

Where I am getting at is, maybe your girl just got a little too much of everything, and at a hard moment like that, she saw taking a break as the only possible choice out in order to keep up with school and preserve her sanity. But in high-tensed moments people often make hasty decisions, and only later realise what they have done. My small advice would be, wait a little. Right now she is probably so stressed, she doesn't feel like taking long conversations about the future or about whys, and whens. Give her a week or so. I know how hard it is to not be able to speak to the person you love, but think how after that, she will hopefully be a little more relaxed, back on her feet and she will be clearer about how she feels and what she wants to do from now on I don't believe pushing her in the corner and demanding explanations will be good for either of you. Oh and also, if she is more willing to cooperate next time you speak, you can for example suggest that you give her more space during the day, but that you have one hour in the night, in which to talk and spend a little nice time together. Maybe she will be willing to make a compromise

So that is from me, I hope I helped a little. Remember, if you two are meant to be, things will work out in the end Good luck!

[Bex2804]

Oh and also, if she is more willing to cooperate next time you speak, you can for example suggest that you give her more space during the day, but that you have one hour in the night, in which to talk and spend a little nice time together.

^^ I think that is a very good idea! I already am only allowed to talk to my SO for an hour a night via skype, although we message occasionally during the day, and to be honest, it works. Yeah there are sometimes I which we could talk more but I know that if I only have one hour of talking to him I have other time to get my school work done. I have my exams coming up in a few weeks time and I am stressing already. I think you should just leave her be because from personal experience, when we get stressed about something we get really stressed! Let her chill and then see how it is after her exams

[AaronH]

I have let her have her space, why I agreed to the break even thought it killed me.
I have suggested Skype or phone call for 1 hour a day.. But she says she can't & her mum and dad have basically banned her from getting in touch with me

[JoeyBug]

I have let her have her space, why I agreed to the break even thought it killed me.
I have suggested Skype or phone call for 1 hour a day.. But she says she can't & her mum and dad have basically banned her from getting in touch with me

I think at this point, it's about giving her the space without the contact. I know it's hard, but she's now dealing with exam pressure, as well as her parents putting pressure on her as well, she's probably close to breaking point and if you push with contact then she'll break and that may mean the end of your relationship.

I know it's hard to deal with depression, and especially when it feels like one of the one things keeping your going is about to go down the drain - speaking from personal experience here - but if possible you need to put aside your feelings of anxiety and worry and allow her the time and space she needs to get into a better situation. If you keep up the contact and it alienates her parents because of it, that will only hurt your relationship in the long run. If you have other people you can talk to, like coming here and talking with people who know what you're going through, use them as support. Try to just allow her to see that you've respected what she's asked you to do and it should allow her to them come back round and see that you respect her and her own needs as well.

I know it's tough, I've been there, but you will get through it!