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Scared of falling out of love

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    Scared of falling out of love

    My bf and I have been dating for 9 months. The past 2.5 months have been long distance. He just graduated college and has a job 1,000 miles away from me. His job is demanding and we barely have time to talk. All of this free time makes me question our relationship... I'm afraid that I will fall out of love. I am 19 and still have 2 more Years left of college, I'm not sure how to handle this situation. All I can think about are our happy times when he was here and went to my college. I'm upset that he had to graduate and get a real world job- but I'm happy for him that he is doing something with his life! I just wish he was here. Sometimes I feel like I'm forgetting how it feels to be madly in love, something I used to feel for him so much. I am going to see him in 3 weeks And I want to be happy but lately all I can think about is "what if I see him and there is no connection like there used to be?"

    Thanks to anyone who answers!

    #2
    I think you're worrying yourself to the point where you're going to make yourself go a little coocoo! Distance does not make people fall out of love. Its only been 21/2 months and the transition from CD to LD is hard. Give it time. If you need anybody to talk to feel free to message me! (Loook, we're from the same state! hi!;D)
    Made it official: 12-01-10
    First visit: 3-29-13/4-09-13
    Closed the distance: 07-31-13

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      #3
      Originally posted by Black_Halloween View Post
      I think you're worrying yourself to the point where you're going to make yourself go a little coocoo! Distance does not make people fall out of love. Its only been 21/2 months and the transition from CD to LD is hard. Give it time.
      This!

      It's not going to be an easy transition when you're used to him being close by and being able to communicate frequently. People do not fall out of love that quickly and you're just worried. Take a breath and see how things go when you visit. I'm sure all will be like it was when you were CD and you'll realize you were overanalyzing and worrying for nothing once he's adjusted to working full time and the time difference, I'm sure you'll be able to communicate more.
      Our love story:
      Attended the same high school 2004-2007
      Dated CD: June 2009-July 2010
      Reconnected: August 2012
      Began dating LD: November 2012
      Engaged! March 2014
      Closing the distance: December 2015

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        #4
        There is such a thing as having something fail simply because you are determined that it can't succeed. Don't let yourself think your relationship to death. If you can't talk to him, don't sit and wait. I know that's easy to say and hard to do, because I do it too. Make yourself busy when he can't be around. There are lots of posts on this site that offer help, like finding ways to distract yourself. Make him care packages to send or take up a hobby, etc.

        Three weeks is no time at all before you see him. If you really honestly love him right now, I can't see that changing between now and then. When a couple is Long Distance it doesn't make you love them less. It has its ups and downs, but focus on the ups. You'll spend time talking and connecting on an emotional/intellectual level to make up for being physical. You'll appreciate the time spent together, because it's not always available. It may be challenging, but not impossible. Look how many of us are doing it!

        Remember that love is greater than distance. You have a great support group here, so keep talking to us!

        Comment


          #5
          I just wanted to add a and tell you that you've gotten some great advice already! A lot of us have been through this before (meaning here at LFAD) where we have to transition to being apart from being CD. Just focus on getting through the next three weeks and enjoy your visit and if you need to talk, we're always here for you!
          Joey & Scott
          Met: April 2002
          Lost Contact: August 2002
          Reconnected: April 2010
          Together: May 20th 2010






          [COLOR="#800080"]"Do not anticipate trouble, or worry about what may never happen. Keep in the sunlight." Benjamin Franklin

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            #6
            Thanks everyone for the support it really means a lot! I don't know if this makes sense but lately I just feel like because of the distance, I forgot what it's like to be in love. I also think that the reason is that my boyfriend and I practically lived together last semester at school so this is a rely huge difference. What are some ways that I can cope with this?

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              #7
              I know what you are going through. I am in the same boat with my LDR. But stay positive. The best thing you can do is keep a positive mind. Don't worry yourself. I know with all the free time your mind has time to wonder. Like I said I am in the same boat my mind has time to wonder as well with all the free time I have. I try to keep a positive mind and remember that my SO's actions speak louder then his words. I keep in mind that I am not alone in this and that I have this site to come to if I have any questions or need to vent. I am fairly new to LDRs. But I have found that coming on to this site has helped me a lot and made me learn to appreciate my relationship. I have learned from reading others post how to cope with so much especially the emotions and venting on here....everyone understands and is so supportive. I am here if you want to talk too...it's good to have a friend when you need one. We all are here to help and support one another even if it is from a distance.

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                #8
                Do stuff! :P Pick up a hobby, ectect
                Made it official: 12-01-10
                First visit: 3-29-13/4-09-13
                Closed the distance: 07-31-13

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