Being influenced to feel differently about my LDR? :( help!

[CTgirl727]

Ok, this is going to sound wierd, but here I go.....

So my roomie in college just broke up with her boyfriend. She told me that she never really felt in "love" with him, and she says she didnt want to hurt him. She told me that she never felt the feelings that she saw that I had with my boyfriend. So why am i starting to question my relationship???? Shes 100% right; I used to be so in LOVE with my boyfriend. Just being able to see him, or just lie on my bed, or doing anything that pleased him (such as watching his favorite tv show) I was crazy in love. Now, he has been gone for 2 months... and recently since my roomie has told me about her feelings of falling out of love, i am convinced it is going to happen to me! Its like im programmed to feel this way, when really, im just forgetting that feeling of being in love. Does this happen to anyone? We've been going out for 8 months now, maybe its just because our relationship isnt in the honeymoon stage anymore. I know that can happen to a lot of people, they go out for a while and still love each other but those crazy feelings kind of die down. I know i love my bf, because I will do ANYTHING for him. But with him gone, I just forget what its like to feel in love. Skype and phone calls help, but i still feel empty.

[digitalfever]

I personally don't think that's falling out of love I think your experiencing that compfy place called "matured" love. This may sound weird but I don't think being in love is all about missing someone like crazy, drawing their name in hearts and feeling like your going to die without them. I think eventually you get to a place where you miss them, you love them deeply but it doesn't affect you as much.

[Alsfia]

I kind of recognize this. My SO and I have been together for some time and i find myself feeling content with our relationship while were apart and living in euphoria when we are together. I do find it difficult to feel crazy in love when were apart, mainly because a major part of me is missing. Personally i tend to avoid thinking about falling out of love since a LDR is challenging enough and it will just add unnecessary stress, so id try and get it off my mind somehow. Dont worry, it is most likely a subconcious way to protect you from emotional pain

[Black_Halloween]

I personally don't think that's falling out of love I think your experiencing that compfy place called "matured" love. This may sound weird but I don't think being in love is all about missing someone like crazy, drawing their name in hearts and feeling like your going to die without them. I think eventually you get to a place where you miss them, you love them deeply but it doesn't affect you as much.

Agreed.

[ThePiedPiper]

I personally don't think that's falling out of love I think your experiencing that compfy place called "matured" love. This may sound weird but I don't think being in love is all about missing someone like crazy, drawing their name in hearts and feeling like your going to die without them. I think eventually you get to a place where you miss them, you love them deeply but it doesn't affect you as much.

I agree with this. If you go through life believing that love is butterflies and giddy-goody all the time, you're never going to keep a relationship. Love is as ugly as it is beautiful. There are good times and bad times and the nutty, honeymoon stage of feeling infatuated doesn't last forever. Sometimes it's important to separate infatuation and lust from what being in love really is and actually means.

[LadyDaemon]

I agree with digitalfever. When you're together at first it's exciting and new,but after being together for a few months that honeymoon phase goes away and your love has matured so you just get comfortable. It's not something to be afraid of,if anything it's something to be happy about because then that just means you're content and satisfied with what you have. I also agree with Alsfia that it can also be a way to protect yourself from the emotional turmoil that comes from not being with your partner as much as you'd like to be. We've all been there I think. I know when me and my fiance are together we're very much in love and happy,but when we're apart we tend to do as much as we can to block off that intense feeling of sadness when the other one isn't around. I know I tend to try and numb it out so I don't get depressed over it. I think you guys will be ok.