The "Honeymoon Phase"

[lyonsgirl]

Inspired by another thread - and I see that this topic seems to come up about once a year, but it's been over 6 months since the last post on the last "honeymoon phase" thread. (I know no one wants a zombie thread...)


So, how do you know when the honeymoon phase is over? How do you define the honeymoon phase? Do you think there's a "time limit" on the phase? Do you think that you have to ever leave this phase? Do you think there are any pros/cons to the phase? Do you think a relationship can only "advance" if it exits the honeymoon phase?

[Black_Halloween]

The honymoon phase never really ended...it just matured. After two years he still makes me blush and giggle like a teenager

[blankita719]

It's interesting because I don't think that my SO and I ever really had a honeymoon phase. We've known each other for so long that we fell pretty easily into our current relationship and he's not a super romantic man by nature so we didn't have that haze of newness.

That being said, based on previous relationships, you do have to move out of the honeymoon phase. I mean, sure he's great, he tells you that your beautiful, you talk for hours about nothing, but then something serious happens. Googly eyes and calling each other muffin aren't going to get a couple through that. Life is harsh. You have to be able to take each other through the best and the worst parts of it, and sometimes I think that includes reality checks. Love doesn't pay the bills, you know? It's hard to stay in the honeymoon phase if someone loses their job and collections departments are calling non-stop. Or you have a baby and you are up to your eyeballs in poopy diapers.

I don't think it's a bad thing, I think it's a fun part of relationships. I think it lasts differently for couples, and I think the biggest factor there is life.

[Moon]

I love the honeymoon phase, I really do, it's my favorite part of a relationship, even though it's distracting, hormonal and crazy I think that's pretty much how I define it, that first few months of rainbows and unicorns, where everything is new and cute and perfect. I don't think it as a set time limit, I think your hormones settle down and real life creeps in, it's a gradual process, but I think that yeah, you do have to leave that phase, because the real world and reality has to rear it's ugly head. The way he farts in his sleep, or how you pick your teeth in a restaurant isn't gonna be adorable forever That doesn't mean the romance has to die, or the butterflies disappear, it just means you settle in and get comfortable, and every couple internally defines that differently. You start to be comfortable with yourself and with each other. Sometimes, that's not always a good thing, and the relationship breaks down once you get to really see that person as who they really are.

Yeah, I do think it can't advance without leaving the phase. Those first few months are kinda ridiculous and not real, you can't go around floating in your daydreams forever. I see MANY posts on here from people who are distressed because they skyped for 12 hours straight everyday in the beginning, but now it's down to a couple of hours a day. Or, their partner dared go out with their friends and hasn't texted them the entire time, like they did in the first weeks of a relationship. It's hard to feel that way, when the relationship loses it's newness, and it's definitely an adjustment, but it's also normal. People have to get shit done, but that doesn't mean they love you less, at that stage, they love you MORE, but they've still gotta get back to taking care of life.

Again, don't confuse the honeymoon stage and romance, they're different. You can be madly, stupidly in love still, and even more so, because now you've integrated your life as a couple into normal life. Just my opinion though!

[Trethsparr]

Moon nailed it. The Honeymoon period does not last, but that's life.

For what it's worth, I didn't actually leave the Honeymoon stage until after I closed the distance. We really weren't LD that long compared to some of the good folks here, but I'd be curious to know how many other people experienced the same thing. I think might last longer if you only have infrequent visits.

[digitalfever]

I think it ends when you can openly fart and burp with them. That's when your SO has become your bestie.

[Captivated]

Trethsparr, same here. After we closed the distance, we were still on cloud nine for about a month or so but then everyday life kind of woke us up. Bills, work, who cleans the house...lol But it's a process. I wouldn't trade it for a lifetime of honeymoon phase ever. We love each other even more now...it's different, but better.

[Malaga]

I think for us it's a cycle. The first honeymoon phase was special of course, it had that excitement that only novelty can bring. But we've gone through at least two other honeymoon periods, when somehow we just got more loved up and romantic than before. It last for a while, then I guess life catches up again and we're 'normal' again for a while.

I do feel like honeymoon periods usually happen after some relationship upgrade - like after we met each other's parents, after we made plans for the holidays, etc.

[Benni]

I think it ends when you can openly fart and burp with them. That's when your SO has become your bestie.

Well, damn! Then ours ended during our first meet!! We were both so comfy with each other, we just laughed and went on with whatever we were doing!

[lucybelle]

I guess I would describe the honeymoon phase as the excitement of dating someone new. I was thinking about it the other day, how I'll never get butterflies in my stomach because of someone new texting me and updating my best girl friend like OMG WHAT DID HE SAY?! And trying to wait an acceptable amount of time to text back to make it look like I'm not *that* interested. To me, that's the honeymoon phase. And yeah, we're not in it anymore. When I get a text from my SO now it's usually "make sure to cook the beans when you get home"

But at the same time, I get excited to see him every single day when he gets home from work. I still get butterflies when he whispers sweet nothings in my ear. I still think he's super hot and love to see him in tight shirts. I love that man so much it's sometimes hard for me to understand. I love every single moment we are together. And I think that's just as awesome

[Tooki]

I think that my GF and I are definitely past the honeymoon phase. With that said, I have been feeling like I did in the Honeymoon Period for the past couple of days.

[Irina_Linn]

guess we never had real honemoon phase...its been quite fast we moved in together,and with that you pretty quickly discover your partner goes to the loo like a human being and has certain eating habits honeymoon phase is awesome tho and in my opinion,its important you keep a bit of it through all your relationship.we still make each other small cute gifts,breakfast in bed and all these little things that are normal for honeymoon.this doesnt turn the relationship in a routine

[digitalfever]

Well, damn! Then ours ended during our first meet!! We were both so comfy with each other, we just laughed and went on with whatever we were doing!

I burped in his face. Don't worry. Lol we're all a bit disgusting.

[chizatlauren]

When I was in a 6-year relationship with my ex, the honeymoon phase ended after the first year. That's when we had our first real fight, and it became more frequent.

My current SO and I, I think, are definitely still in the honeymoon stage right now because we are all cheesy and mushy. He's always excited to see me but I know that the honeymoon stage will end one way or another. Maybe when he goes to college.

[lademoiselle]

We stopped seeing each other through rose-tinted glasses after about two years. The mystery is long gone by now

That said, I don't mind the comfortable stage as long as it doesn't mean becoming complacent. I love my SO now with a lot more depth and intensity than I did when we first got together.