How to gain Independence and Happiness with LDR?

[CTgirl727]

While my BF is off working all day, Im here at college. Yes, I have learned a lot of responsibilities at college, such as learning to balance school work, doing my own cleaning and laundry, etc. However, the independence I need to work on is accepting the fact that I can not talk to my BF as much as we used to. I find myself having much more free time than him, esp now that my classes are finishing and the only thing i have to do is study for my exams (which i do at my own free time). With this comes a HUGE gap of free space that I dont know what do. I find myself getting sad and even to the point where i start to doubt my relationship, because My BF and I used to go to college together, and Im not going to lie, my world did revolve around him. I would do anything (even if that meant studying less) just to be with him. Now that he is in Missouri, things are different bc i have learned to do my own thing. However, I am still struggling with it. I feel as if i am empty, lonely, etc; bc my Happiness seemed to only come from him. How do i learn to be happy with myself, and not revolve it around someone else? (aka HIM) This is something I have always struggled with im one of those people who will drop EVERYTHING for someone else.

[digitalfever]

Well you can't function in life being one of those people that drops everything for someone else. Life doesn't work that way and your going to have to learn how to be selfish. Your world needs so much more than a guy to function. Imagine if you broke up and all you had was him. What would you do? You need to continue to cultivate relationships, hobbies, adventures etc that don't include him. You need to accept that your in a relationship and realize it doesn't mean your an extension of one another.

[JoeyBug]

I agree with digitalfever, you need to find things that YOU want to do, that you're doing because you enjoy them and they don't necessarily revolve around your relationship. That could be anything from taking up a new hobby or making some friends and hanging out with them to fill up your time. If you spend 100% of the time focused on him and your relationship, it will suffer in the long run. You need to find something that won't be all about him, but about you.

Good Luck