Would you stay?

[floridaellen]

I'd like to believe I would not leave. I have a severely handicapped brother so I am in no way new to being a caretaker.
However, if they were a vegetable so to speak it would be difficult to keep up a romantic relationship. If it was just a boyfriend like you say above I would probably leave in that case. A fiancé/husband? I would probably stay. At least I would like to believe I would.

[summerkid]

For those of you who read Jane Eyre.. that's what I like to think I would do if my husband or person I was with for many years had an accident like that. I like to believe i would find a compromise between not abandoning them, but also living my life. It's not their fault they got into an accident either, so I think it would be unfair if they were completely left to the mercy of the system. I made a commitment to them, I can't just walk away and forget that happened, but i agree with others that it doesn't mean i have to completely dedicate myself to them.

There was this case some years ago back home of a doctor who had an insanity moment while operating and completely cut his patient's penis off. Hacked it in little pieces and everything. The guy was married and I saw an interview with him and his wife, who remained together. I always wondered what I would do in that situation.... traumas change people, they change relationships, they change their victims as well as those close to them.

[TwoThree]

Jane Eyre? Are you suggesting bigamy here? That's illegal, you know

[digitalfever]

Jane Eyre? Are you suggesting bigamy here? That's illegal, you know

Only in certain countries...

[TwoThree]

I was speaking generally. In fact, it's perfectly legal to marry up to four women at the same time where I live

[summerkid]

Jane Eyre? Are you suggesting bigamy here? That's illegal, you know

eh.. bigamy.. bigayou.. ( could not resist the stupid pun/joke, sorry haha ) .. what's life without a little risk

[digitalfever]

I was speaking generally. In fact, it's perfectly legal to marry up to four women at the same time where I live

Who would want four wives? I'm difficult. I can see how four husbands would be economically useful but four wives? He has one penis but I can open more than one bank account for each income stream..

[TwoThree]

Apparently lots of people. In Saudi Arabia, for instance, if you have just the one wife you are outside of the norm. I could never wrap my head around it, to be honest.

You can't have more than one husband, you're a woman and therefore an inferior being

[mllebamako]

Lots of people here have more than 1 wife (limit is 4). When I first lived in Mali, I lived with a family where there were 3 wives. Husband rotated and slept with 1 wife for 3 nights and then went on to the next. On the outside, it was all "yes, we're so happy, we share work, etc" and after a month living there, I saw the reality: serious domestic abuse, jealousy amongst the wives, the truth about how he'd had other wives before who he had ditched because they couldn't have babies or got old.

Anyway...back on topic:
It's hard for me to imagine this situation and what I would do if it was a boyfriend. So I'll imagine it with my husband: I would stay. I can't imagine doing anything else. If he was in a persistent vegetative state, I'd still stay by his side for the obligatory waiting period until I could petition to have his life support terminated.

[digitalfever]

Apparently lots of people. In Saudi Arabia, for instance, if you have just the one wife you are outside of the norm. I could never wrap my head around it, to be honest.

You can't have more than one husband, you're a woman and therefore an inferior being

Woe is me.

[SonyaKitty]

Well something like this (but not as extreme) could have been a possibility for me and Ben, he got hurt real bad in combat, his legs were okay, but he had some head damage, he couldn't keep his balance when walking. It was possible that he'd be in a wheelchair for the rest of his life, but we got lucky. I would stay, either in your case or if ben's health took a turn for the worst, would be harder on us, but so worth it cause I love him to death.

[sewbama]

A girl I went to high school with and knew pretty well got married about a year ago. A month and a half later, her husband fell off a ladder and suffered a terrible brain injury. He's still recovering. He speaks sometimes, but three or four words at the most. His personality is definitely intact. They ask him silly questions and read to him. He's very responsive, just not very talkative. He's not able to sit up without special chairs. He obviously cannot bathe himself or even go to the bathroom himself. She is not his only caregiver, as they moved back in with her parents, but she is the primary caregiver. Her whole life is now devoted to caring for this man. They are on disability and medicaid, which provide for their medical care and some living expenses, but they are definitely affected financially. But she talks all the time about how much she loves him.

This situation is a bit different than the one OP described. There is a great chance for recovery, but it is a long road. Right now he is at their house, but a rehab facility would speed up his recovery. But she is there every step of the way. She shows incredible strength and determination. I would like to think I'd do the same, but as mentioned, if my SO is no longer himself, I don't think I could. If he isn't mentally there, I don't know that I could be. However, I've known many people (my brother, especially) suffer severe brain injury and come out the other side the same person. So I don't think I would just walk away if there was any chance at all.

BTW, my friend posts regularly on facebook, updating the situation with her husband. She is a very Christian, southern woman. She appreciates prayers from anyone/anywhere. If any of you would like her facebook information so you can read her story or follow her progress, just pm me.

[loveknowsnodistance27]

I would stay. 100% without a doubt. He's been my best friend for 14 years so we've been through everything together and I care so deeply for him that I would want to hep him out. He's been there for me when I've been at my lowest lows, hell, he stopped me from attempting suicide. He's the reason I am alive today. So it's the least I could do.

[lucybelle]

Lots of people here have more than 1 wife (limit is 4).

Any reason 4 is tops?

[dukes2011]

Obviously I don't know for sure since I have never been in a situation remotely close to this one, but I think I'd stay. I would definitely stay if it was a fiance or husband. I have never been a full time caretaker, however I am in a profession (speech language pathology) where I have worked with people who have severe traumatic brain injuries. For one practicum I was at a rehab facility, so I have witnessed first hand the gains a person can make when you least expect it. Oftentimes recovery is slow, but those little moments are priceless! I wouldn't want to miss out on those.