Wedding Bell Blues

[dukes2011]

I know what you mean! Funny actually since I am 23 and my SO is 24 as well. I guess we're just in that stage of life, which seems crazy to me! Also since I am very religious, people in my family and my friends tend to get married young. Most of my college friends are married and always offer up the "So when is your turn?" spiel. I want to remind them I DO have long term boyfriend and also that I'm grad school, so it just doesn't make sense for us to get married at this time. I just find it's just hard to say that without coming across as kind of mean.

I think the best thing anyone can do is try not to compare their life to other people's We all do it to an extent, but there's a difference between wanting something for yourself, and being jealous of others for having the same thing when you don't (not saying you do that, of course! I'm thinking out loud more than anything). No two people's situations are the same, so at the end of the day it's really pointless.

This is dead on! We all tend to compare ourselves to others because I think it's just human nature. I always remind myself of WHY my SO and I are waiting to get married. Obviously I want to graduate first and secure a job this fall. He wants to have a little more money in the bank, too. We know if we wait a little longer, our future marriage will be better for it. Also it will be that much more special when it finally does happen

[Schlafmütze]

When I was about 15 years old, and while talking and day dreaming with my friends, I said I'd like to be married by the time I turned 25 and to have a child at 26.
Today I am 28 years old. I have not yet married and I have no children. But I'm happy!

Is it weird that I've never experienced the "wedding bells blues" feeling? Like the OP and many others, very often I see that a friend got engaged, I get wedding invitations; but I never feel I'm behind just because I'm not married yet.
Actually I am always happy for my friends who are getting married, especially if I 've gotten to know the boyfriend and I know he's a good guy for her. I attend the weddings with a lot of excitement and enjoy the party to the fullest. I don't get sad or jealous. Quite the contrary!
In fact, I live happy because I did not marry any of my former boyfriends and because at the time that according to "social standards" I should have married, I was enjoying my life to the fullest and being happy! Marriage was not a priority and I did not care what people said.

However, what I experienced recently was a little jealousy because I was not professionally in the place where I'd like to be. But I decided to change it and I did. :-)

Baby blues? I do get them quite often! I don't dream of the super big wedding, I think the more intimate and smaller the better.
But every time I see babies I go: "I want one!". Personally, I love babies and children. I can't wait to have my own. Meanwhile I practice and enjoy my girl friends' babies.

[Black_Halloween]

Its sad to read how much everybody seems to hate weddings or the idea of getting married on this thread Sure divorce happens but nobody can predict it (unless you get wasted and marry a tranny gogo dancer on a weekend in vegas but thats an entirely different senario). Stop being negative ninnies! I love weddings! I can't wait until we have our own.

[summerkid]

Its sad to read how much everybody seems to hate weddings or the idea of getting married on this thread Sure divorce happens but nobody can predict it (unless you get wasted and marry a tranny gogo dancer on a weekend in vegas but thats an entirely different senario). Stop being negative ninnies! I love weddings! I can't wait until we have our own.

I like your spirit. This post made me smile even though I am having a tough day

[rubydissolution]

Yea I have it. Everyone I know has gotten or is engaged to be married. Then they are having kids and I'm no where near any of it. I joke with my SO that my bff heather, her bff beth are in diff relationship stages. Beth was the first to get married. Then as Heather got married Beth got pregnant. I told Charles that when we get married Heather will be having her first and beth her second.

When I hang out with them all they ask is " so when are you getting married?" I have to remind them that Charles and I have only been together for 11 months. We are no where near ready. Everyone seems to think we have been a couple longer then we have been. But both he and I want to get married once. Divorce is not an option so we need to be absolutely sure before we take that step. Doesnt mean I don't long for the white dress n crap. I always thought I'd be married before 30....well that isn't happening. But I'm OK with it. It'll happen when its meant to.

[SeeRat]

I love weddings! I can't wait until we have our own.

This... I love weddings too :P We ll close the distance after we get married so its even more important for me its not that i feel jealous for my friends getting married but yes my all friend are/going to be married.
As Dez said i remind myself what they have now, one day i will have it too but when the right time comes

[Heavenly_Love12]

Thanks everyone who replied! I certainly wasn't expecting that many responses

It's nice that I'm not the only person who feels this way! I'm not overcome with jealousy or anything just a nagging, "I have years before it's close to being my turn" in the back of my head. I try to keep in mind that I do have a good full time job, am continuing with education by starting a Master's degree program, and do have my SO in my life but it would be nice to have it all right now! I know why we aren't heading towards an engagement for years and I want him to be totally ready before anything happens but patience has never been my strong suit!

[Malaga]

Haha! I relate a little bit differently to that. They don't ask me when my turn is, they offer a prayer for my turn to come soon (implying: "you poor, desperate spinster")

Warms the heart!

Ugh! Whenever I come back from a visit, people in the office examine my left hand and then offer me condolences. "Aww such a shame just hang in there, I'm sure it'll happen soon." It really winds me up. It almost makes me never want to get married, just to spite them. Such losers.

Its sad to read how much everybody seems to hate weddings or the idea of getting married on this thread Sure divorce happens but nobody can predict it (unless you get wasted and marry a tranny gogo dancer on a weekend in vegas but thats an entirely different senario). Stop being negative ninnies! I love weddings! I can't wait until we have our own.

To each their own. Marriage and wedding are poles apart, I look forward to one and I dread the other. Fairytale? More like a nightmare!

[LadyDaemon]

Its sad to read how much everybody seems to hate weddings or the idea of getting married on this thread Sure divorce happens but nobody can predict it (unless you get wasted and marry a tranny gogo dancer on a weekend in vegas but thats an entirely different senario). Stop being negative ninnies! I love weddings! I can't wait until we have our own.

This. I'd be lying though also if I said I didn't sometimes have the "wedding bell blues" because I've seen how many of my friends have gotten married over the last couple of years before I even got engaged and I have yet to have done it. Most of them have even had their first children and when I think about it I wish I had that too,but I try to keep in mind that it will all come in due time when it's mean to. I want to have a nice long engagement before we take that step anyway. But when it does I'm sure it will be beautiful and worth the wait.

I like your spirit. This post made me smile even though I am having a tough day

Awww hon . You're not alone,I am too.

[kittyo9]

I have a few friends who have gotten married or engaged (and a few have had children) in the past couple years. I get SO jealous sometimes because I feel like my SO and I are being prevented from moving forward with our relationship because of the distance. It also has the further implication of marriage = they can't keep us apart by denying our visas any more (or they shouldn't-- there's no reason to deny his visa if we're married). So... ugh! I want to get married so badly sometimes! It's not really the wedding that I want, it's just knowing that he's mine, permanently, and nothing can keep us apart any more without our approval.

[Verojoon]

I have a really conflicted view of marriage since I've been married before. I admit, I start daydreaming when I read all the wedding blogs and posts. I start wishing I was planning a wedding and picking out rings. But then my cynical side kicks in and tells me I've been there, done that and I'd be a fool to do it again. Of course, that being said, I'm pretty certain we'll get married someday. I'm just a pretty big mess on the topic.

Buuuuuut. I definitely have baby blues! I'm slightly jealous of every pregnant person I know. Which is quite a few people. The way I deal with it is to just remind myself that I will have what they have, just not this moment. And that when I'm finally there, I'll be so happy that I get to experience it at that time, and it's not already over. Oh, and I remind myself that I'm free to do what I like, when I like, no babysitter required Perhaps you could console yourself with all the money you're NOT dishing out on a wedding? I guess everything is all in how you look at it.

This is me. Exactly... Well, I have children already, but I was planning on a third before I realized it was ridiculous to keep having children in such a bad relationship... so I have this unfinished feeling and definitely get baby blues!