Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Long Distance forever?

Collapse
X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 1
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous template Next
    #1

    Long Distance forever?

    So my SO and I have just gone from long distance to LONGER distance. He is away on a boat for about 7 months and by the time he gets back it will be our 1 year mark. Before we started dating...I took into consideration that we will be long distance the majority of the time and I learned to accept that. Before we became LONGER distance, things were great, I was happy with where we were, the distance didn't bother me. But now that we are even further away, it's really starting to hit me, we are at the point where this is the longest we've been apart (it's been about a month now since he left) and I now realize, this might be how it is for the majority of our relationship even if we were to stay together forever---which scares the hell out of me.

    I am so incredibly proud of him for what he's doing..he's following his dreams which is EXACTLY what I want him to do. I wouldn't have him doing anything else. So how can I help myself to cope with this LONGER distance? We've talked about how this trip REALLY puts us to the ultimate test, and I know we can pass this one, but how can I prepare myself to have to potentially do this over and over? With what he wants to do, it's going to require a lot more time away, this 7month trip is only the start of it and we haven't even been together a year yet... How can I know if I'm prepared to or able to continue missing him this bad, I love him more than anything and I want him to be happy and to follow his dreams. And I know he has dreams to be with me also and I dream about being with him. So how do I cope with this?
    Tags: help :(, long distance, love, work
    #2
    All you can really do is take it day by day. There is no magically answer as to how you cope with it, nor how to prepare yourself for a life of LDR.

    You just do. You either commit to the LDR knowing that it is continuous and there isn't really an end point to 'close the distance' or you don't, and decide that you're not cut out for it.

    Personally I like to follow a plan and know when I'll see my SO again. We have also been working on a plan to close the distance for the last year.. but at the beginning of our relationship we didn't have any answers as to how long we would be in an LDR, we just took each day as it came and planned the trips when we could. If you know you want to be with that person then you just do, push through the hard parts and commit to the LDR regardless.
    Met Online: February 2009
    Feelings grew: January 2011
    First met in person: 4 April - 16 April 2011
    Officially together since: 4th of April 2011
    Second visit: 29 June - 1 August 2011
    Third visit: 28 September - 15 October 2011
    Fourth visit: 19 January - 25 February 2012
    Fifth visit: 24 March - 12 April 2012
    Sixth visit: 2 June - 7 July 2012
    Engaged: 1st of July 2012
    Seventh visit: 27 August - 23 September
    Visa lodged: 5th of November 2012
    Eighth visit: 8 December 2012 - 12 January 2013
    Visa granted: 8th of May 2013
    Hawaii: 19 May - 2 June 2013
    Closed the distance: 16th of July 2013

    Married my Englishman on the 4th of October 2013

    Comment

      #3
      I'm a bit confused, what does he do again? Is it a vacation or for work? (Maybe im just being nosy :P). Also, how did you meet in OCT of 2013? Time travel? :P

      Also also, what Jazi said :P
      Made it official: 12-01-10
      First visit: 3-29-13/4-09-13
      Closed the distance: 07-31-13

      Comment

        #4
        Agreeing with Jazi here.

        It sounds to me like it's the same idea as being a fisherman's wife (can you tell I live in Atlantic Canada? :P) The fisherman goes away on his boat for a month or a couple months at a time and leaves the wife at home to take care of the kids. She has to be strong and learn to deal with life while he's away. That's not the kind of life for everyone, but it would be unfair to yourself to not see where it takes you. If you love each other, give it a shot. If it's not working, you'll know.

        Just think though. People have been doing long distance relationships for hundreds of years. Husbands left their wives at home to go colonize new continents and all they had were letters that could only travel as fast as the boats could take them. Compared to that, what we do now is easy!

        Keep talking and we'll try to help

        Comment

          #5
          Originally posted by Black_Halloween View Post
          Also, how did you meet in OCT of 2013? Time travel? :P
          Good point BH Maybe she means 2012?
          Met Online: February 2009
          Feelings grew: January 2011
          First met in person: 4 April - 16 April 2011
          Officially together since: 4th of April 2011
          Second visit: 29 June - 1 August 2011
          Third visit: 28 September - 15 October 2011
          Fourth visit: 19 January - 25 February 2012
          Fifth visit: 24 March - 12 April 2012
          Sixth visit: 2 June - 7 July 2012
          Engaged: 1st of July 2012
          Seventh visit: 27 August - 23 September
          Visa lodged: 5th of November 2012
          Eighth visit: 8 December 2012 - 12 January 2013
          Visa granted: 8th of May 2013
          Hawaii: 19 May - 2 June 2013
          Closed the distance: 16th of July 2013

          Married my Englishman on the 4th of October 2013

          Comment

            #6
            Originally posted by Jazi View Post
            Good point BH Maybe she means 2012?
            Quite possibly! :P
            Made it official: 12-01-10
            First visit: 3-29-13/4-09-13
            Closed the distance: 07-31-13

            Comment

              #7
              Wow I definitely didn't even realize the who Oct. 2013...my bad LOL and he is a fisherman and before this year he was fishing more locally, to where he was home on the weekends, that's how it was when I met, then the season ended about a month into our relationship and we got to see each other almost every other weekend. Clearly that isn't the case anymore, and I don't know that that will ever be the case again, at least not any time soon.

              But thank you all for you help, I guess day by day is the only thing I really can do.

              Comment

                #8
                Wow, that was quite the guess on my part :S

                There is something else you can do though! Come back here and share with us when you're feeling down! We all know how it feels in some way or another. This site helps me learn and cope everyday and maybe it will do the same for you!

                Comment

                  #9
                  simple solution, move in with him :P
                  Made it official: 12-01-10
                  First visit: 3-29-13/4-09-13
                  Closed the distance: 07-31-13

                  Comment

                    #10
                    Originally posted by Catface View Post
                    There is something else you can do though! Come back here and share with us when you're feeling down! We all know how it feels in some way or another. This site helps me learn and cope everyday and maybe it will do the same for you!
                    I couldn't agree more, this site has already helped me a lot, I get on every day to see how I can help and to try and help myself. Thank you guys so much, it really is a great feeling to know that I'm not going through this alone.

                    Comment

                      #11
                      Originally posted by Black_Halloween View Post
                      simple solution, move in with him :P
                      LOL

                      Comment

                      Previous template Next
                      Working...
                      X