Why cant my parents be accepting and understanding like my SO's mom?

[katiecat08]

My SO lives with his mom. He has told her all about me and she accepts us and our relationship. He has told her how much he loves me and she said she hopes to meet me one day. My parents on the otherhand are the opposite, or at least my mom is. My dad hasn't really asked me anymore about my SO or bugged me so I'm not sure what he still thinks. I'm crossing my fingers and praying he will accept him and us in this relationship. But my mom keeps making me get upset Everytime she tries to convince me I'm making a mistake. The main thing she keeps worrying about is him taking me away from them and moving far away. He has already told me he's going to move closer but she still thinks it'll happen one day. I'm trying to convince her to let us meet him soon but she even got exasperated when I mentioned it even though a few days ago it seemed like she was willing. He can come anytime but the sooner we meet , the better. He wants my parents Iblessing on our relationship and I'm trying my hardest to get through to my mom. She is afraid of our family reputation for one which is utterly ridiculous and she said,"how am I supposed to say, my daughter is talking to a guy in new Mexico?". She is not being supportive and its becoming very sickening to me when she brings it up aain and again. I haven't told her I love him yet because she's freaking out as it is that were more than friends. I'm hoping my SO could talk to my dad without my mom interfering and try to talk to him. IMy dad seems calmer than my mom but if she gets to my dad, he will agree with her most likely.

[dragonlady]

you could do it the hard way towards her by saying that if she keeps this negative stuff that her wurst thought may come true because of her own doing!
the she is being very judgemental and that you expected more from her! make an opinion when you met him and judge!
but you can support me and keep me close or you can stay how you are and probably drive me away!

maybe that will get her awake!

[mllebamako]

I'm sorry that your parents aren't being more understanding. My advice would be that you have to live your life for you. Do what you need to do, have your SO visit, etc. Tell them: this is what I need to do right now and I hope that you'll support me, if you can't support me, I hope that one day you'll understand.
If you keep trying to please them, you'll drive yourself crazy!

(if I am remembering right, you are 23 and don't live at home. If you are under 18 and/or live at home, disregard my advice )

[Jazi]

Katie, I've noticed over the last 3 days you've made 3 different topics which more or less cover this same issue.. I know it is hell to deal with people who aren't supportive, especially when its your parents.. But I think you'll find the advice from the last 2 topics is really all that anyone can offer. When I read this thread I struggled to think of anything more to say than what I've already said. It's tough and I know it really sucks.. but somehow you just have to find a way to be happy regardless of the lack of support, either that or end your relationship to make your parents happy. It does take some time to find a 'comfortable' place with unsupportive parents..

It sounds to me like you just need to vent your feelings too, so maybe writing in the 'blog' section of LFAD would be helpful for you? it would give you the opportunity to vent without creating many topics on the same issue.. I just think that because we have already offered most of the advice we have on the topic that you'll eventually have nobody replying to the topics about your mum, not because we don't want to help.. but because everything has already been said that is there to give as advice and it gets frustrating saying virtually the same thing over and over..

I hope you can find a content place with your mum/parents.. sometimes they just won't support you, and if they don't you have to choose between what they want for you and what YOU want for you (and live with their lack of support).

[Captivated]

Sorry this is happening to you. But is it really necessary to start 4/5 different threads about essentially the same thing? :/