Lonely Anniversary :(

[kmarie1293]

So today (April 29th) is mine and my boyfriends' 6 month anniversary. He has also been gone for about a month, which is the longest he and I have ever gone without seeing each other.

He's currently offshore on a fishing boat and doesn't have cellphone service, so I can't even talk to him. This longer distance is really starting to hit me, and I'm pretty sure this is how our relationship is going to be for the rest of the 6 months that he's going to be gone. They fish 5 days a week, and only come in when they have to unload their catch but depending on the size of their catch and when its caught, they could really go the whole week catching fish and never come in until friday. I'm not quite sure how I'm going to manage this because I really am missing him bad.

Around Christmas time, which was like 3 months into our relationship, he told me that for our 6 month anniversary he planned to get me this Tiffany's bracelet he knew I really wanted, he saved a picture on his phone and everything. At that time, he didn't know he was going to be gone when our 6 month anniversary rolled around, but I honestly don't even think he remembers. I can't help but wonder if this is what our ENTIRE relationship is going to be like for the rest of our lives because this kind of work is what he loves to do. He loves being on the water and has aspirations to make a true career out of it by working his way up which requires a lot of sea time. Sea time he's not even technically getting right now because of the size of the boat that he's on.

I'm scared that this may be what our whole relationship will be like and that I'm not ready for it... I love him more than anything and I want to be with him so bad...but that's just it..I want to BE WITH him. Being without him right now for this long is really killing me and it scares me a lot, but he has to do what he has to do, and I am proud of him for that and I want to stand by him always. I just worry about how long I'm really going to have to wait.

[Jazi]

I'm sorry that you're not spending your 6 monthaversary together.

I think though that it's not fair to say that he's just 'forgotten'.. If this relationship is going to be successful YOU have to trust that he is just as in the relationship as you are, regardless of how long he is gone. He is also probably working his ass off on that boat, fishing is such an intensive profession and can actually make A LOT of money from it, depending what kind of fishing he does he may end up in a good place with it/earning enough money to just work a season a year and having the rest as time off.. that gives you an intensive few months apart but ALSO the flip side of that - intensive months together.

I really think that you are over-thinking it, moping around feeling sorry for yourself does not a successful relationship make. Maybe you two aren't right for each other.. you keep saying you don't wait the rest of your life to be like this, well, it will be like this if this is the profession he chooses to do, he shouldn't have to choose to quit his profession for this relationship. If you need someone who has a 'regular job' then you should move on sooner than later, he in-turn needs someone who can stand by his side and handle the time apart while he is fishing.

sounds like you need to get out of the house and hang out with your friends, visit your family, get stuck into some hobbies.. because feeling sorry for yourself won't make you feel any better. You also need to trust that he loves you/wants this relationship as much as you regardless of the fact that this is his professional passion that he is pursuing.

[kmarie1293]

I know that he and I can make it through this, I have moments of doubt I admit but I think it's really just because I'm not used to this distance yet. I'm used to him not always being here, like on campus with me, but not with him so far away and not being able to talk to me. I don't want anyone else, I think you're right, I need to trust that he's also feeling this way and it's not just 1 sided and I need to get out more LOL. Thank you so much, you've really helped me

[Jazi]

I'm happy to see that what I said helped !

You can do this, anyone can, it's just a matter of whether you WANT to and you say you do.