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Games, games, games...!

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    #1

    Games, games, games...!

    My SO and I have been in a LDR for one and a half years, talking LD for two-ish, three-ish.. something like that. It's probably not true, but it feels like we've talked about everything. Our silences are getting longer, and he's escaping more towards his games. Recently I've been feeling at a complete loss.

    I've yet to honestly say, "Your games... they're taking hold of you!" and I haven't yet, but it honestly feels like it. I don't want to be that girl who HAS to be the center of her man's world- believe me- but it has been lonely recently.

    What should I do? Say? Do I say anything at all? Support?

    Bleh, it's getting harder to keep calm :/ I don't know what he's feeling anymore, to top it off. It's all... crazy.
    Last edited by her; April 30, 2013, 08:25 PM. Reason: loss, hopeless
    Tags: None
    #2
    I hear this problem from all of my friends, those in a close distance relationship and long, and I give them the same response. If you can't beat them, join them. If it is a 'Call of Duty' game or role playing game that has your man so mystified, maybe ask him to teach you how to play? Not only is it a good way for you to bond, but you'll be learning something about your SO that you maybe never knew previously. Also, he'll probably be enthused to have you join in! Honestly, you could really get hooked too! That is exactly what happened to me - one of my exes was a huge COD fan, and I ended up playing, really enjoying myself, and turned out to be a stone cold killer...heh heh virtual killer that is. Most guys in my experience, find it really cool or even sexy that a pretty girl is a gamer too.

    On the flip side, if you try it and still don't enjoy the experience talk to him! Talk, Talk TALK! Communication is key in any relationship, but especially for long distance relationships. Let him know how you are feeling, and even if you have tried you can even say, "hey look, I've tried to learn to love the games, but I simply cannot and this is putting a real damper on our relationship." This being said, this is my PG advice if you're over 18 there's more!
    .We've Closed the Distance.
    no matter where i am, no matter where you are
    i'll be there when it's over baby - cause i was there from the start
    no matter if i'm near - dont matter if you're far
    all you do is pick the phone up baby & i'll be there when you call

    Whenever you need me, whenever you want me, ♥

    Comment

      #3
      Thanks~ I've tried joining him with other games, but we've yet to connect one on one. Also, this is a 360-Playstation thing... already bought a PSP and tried to join with him. The other console.. I'm not sure how much that would be, honestly. Dogma is this game.

      I feel bad every time I bring something up with my SO. I used to do it so much- bleh, trying to cut back on it. Besides, a part of me thinks this is part of his escape- gaming.

      I was thinking about... well xP yeah. But I dunno how well that would go over; heh. and I hope not to look to shallow in his eyes. He's very.. proper.
      Last edited by her; April 30, 2013, 09:23 PM.

      Comment

        #4
        I think you need to have an honest conversation about how his gaming is effecting your relationship. I think its ok (even good!) for you to game with him a bit, it gives you a great thing to do together.. but YOU shouldn't have to game all the time to get any quality time with him.

        Maybe you could suggest some other fun things that might appeal to him? like watching Youtube together.. or to get some conversation going you could look up fun relationship questions and ask them to each other - it's a great way to start a convo when you're stuck for topics. My SO and I used to ask random questions to each other all the time in the beginning of our relationship, if you google you can find some great ones.
        Met Online: February 2009
        Feelings grew: January 2011
        First met in person: 4 April - 16 April 2011
        Officially together since: 4th of April 2011
        Second visit: 29 June - 1 August 2011
        Third visit: 28 September - 15 October 2011
        Fourth visit: 19 January - 25 February 2012
        Fifth visit: 24 March - 12 April 2012
        Sixth visit: 2 June - 7 July 2012
        Engaged: 1st of July 2012
        Seventh visit: 27 August - 23 September
        Visa lodged: 5th of November 2012
        Eighth visit: 8 December 2012 - 12 January 2013
        Visa granted: 8th of May 2013
        Hawaii: 19 May - 2 June 2013
        Closed the distance: 16th of July 2013

        Married my Englishman on the 4th of October 2013

        Comment

          #5
          Thank you for y'all's support here. I know it's probably just an overreaction. But the responses really were helpful.

          Comment

            #6
            My SO is the same way. He loves his games. Every couple of months whether we are LDR or CD he gets pretty deep into them. I think we are still together because I don't ask him to choose. He figures it out on his own and still makes time for me. We do share an online forum for a new game we are going to both play (the join em thing) but he still likes to have "his time" with his games at times. Some men are just like that. My SO will sit back and play a game from his teens rather than anything else for a few hours if that is what he feels like. When we are CD I really don't care at all. I cook , take walks, work, or make contact with my friends. When we are LDR it is a bit more difficult but I have learned to just give him his time and go do my own thing here too.

            He did it for almost a week straight once when we were first dating. So, I went out and turned off the smartphone for the weekend. We don't have those problems anymore.
            "Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. "
            Benjamin Franklin

            Comment

              #7
              Games for us men, most of us are a good thing to be honest, it's better to be playing games than going out drinking all the time right? lol, and that way at least we're not spending money...or at least not a lot (monthly subscription games etc), as Ms.Justine said, join him! It's always a good laugh playing with your bf/gf, none of my previous gf's played games, but they all played with me here or there, even when I met my SO now, she never played, but I took my nintendo DS to Thailand to play when traveling and she ended up playing it with me lol

              "Buddha made you for me" - My SO



              1st Met/Visit: Nov 2012 - Thailand
              2nd Visit: May 2013 - Thailand
              3rd Visit: Jun 2013 - Thailand
              4th Visit: Sep 2013 - Thailand
              5th Visit: Sep 2013 - Jan 2014 - UK
              6th Visit: Apr 2014 - Thailand - Marry
              7th Visit: Sept 14th 2014 - Thailand - Wedding Ceremony / Party
              Close the distance - Sept 21st 2014 - UK
              UK Wedding Party: November 8th 2014

              Comment

                #8
                Originally posted by Hollandia View Post
                My SO is the same way. He loves his games. Every couple of months whether we are LDR or CD he gets pretty deep into them. I think we are still together because I don't ask him to choose. He figures it out on his own and still makes time for me. We do share an online forum for a new game we are going to both play (the join em thing) but he still likes to have "his time" with his games at times. Some men are just like that. My SO will sit back and play a game from his teens rather than anything else for a few hours if that is what he feels like. When we are CD I really don't care at all. I cook , take walks, work, or make contact with my friends. When we are LDR it is a bit more difficult but I have learned to just give him his time and go do my own thing here too.

                He did it for almost a week straight once when we were first dating. So, I went out and turned off the smartphone for the weekend. We don't have those problems anymore.
                My situation seems oddly reflected in your response- though I do thank Mr. MattDavies86 and their responses as well.

                Shaded from my mind during the last few days was- that he does, indeed, make time for me. He's willing to talk with me whilst playing his games, and that's something in itself I should be thankful for. I honestly don't have any intention in making him choose (nor have I had in the past, I'm proud to say)- I can only imagine what it would feel like if I was presented with an ultimatum.

                I'm sure as we meet, possibly permanently close our distance that these feelings will get better- easier to control. ...I hope. On the bright side, he did offer playing one game together. Woo~

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