He's not the same person...

[kmarie1293]

Since he's left, he's changed. I know that he has to kind of put on an "act" for the guys on the boat so that they don't pick on him as hard. If he shows them his soft side he'll be like eaten alive. I understand he has to do what he has to do to make his work bearable for him but I always kind of thought that I would be the exception...In the few times we really get to talk, it doesn't feel like he's the same person, we don't have the meaningful conversations we used to, at times it feels like he's only calling me because he has to... I've noticed this for a while but I only just said something about it. It really upset him and he wants to change, but he's still going to be one the boat with those guys for another 6-7 months and I don't want to make them miserable for him and I also don't want him to have to "act" for me. I want him to be him. It's bad enough he's not physically here but I can deal with that, but I don't know how to deal with him changing and not being the same person I fell in love with. What can I do?

[Hollandia]

Relationships ebb and flow, men get to a certain point where they KNOW you are just together and they kinda stop the wooing a bit sometimes. They also do act differently when hanging out with their buddies and that is healthy male behavior for the most part. We act differently when just us women sometimes too. The biggest thing that concerns me is what exactly did he do to upset you so much. Are you sure you are not reading too much into it? Paranoia hits most of us in LDRs, I have fought through it several times myself. It is good you opened up the communication with him and hopefully if needed he can do some soul searching while away from you on the boat. I recommend you try to keep extra busy while he is away and have another talk when he gets back. I hope it turns out as you want.

[kmarie1293]

What upset me most is that he really hasn't been the same since he left. We had a huge fight when he first left about how he pushes my feelings aside and he admits to it but it hasn't gotten better, I'm still terrified to tell him certain thing because I don't want to upset him. And then now he just kind of talks to me like I'm just another person, not his girlfriend, which really hurts especially with him gone because again, it's already hard dealing with him so far away now, its even harder to be dealing with someone who I can barely recognize and doesn't seem like the same person I fell in love with.