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**Tooki** · May 2, 2013, 11:13 PM

Perhaps the emotions of breaking up have just hit you (it happens). I personally don't really think about getting back in contact with an ex so I think that you should weigh up why you want to communicate with your ex again with what negative outcomes could happen as a result of doing so.

Getting some closure on the situation could also be a good thing for you. Welcome back mate!

**Black_Halloween** · May 2, 2013, 11:21 PM

I think you're HIGHLY in denial about not having feels for your ex imo. I think you're still in love with her. Be fair to your current SO and break up so you can move on properly.

**Sanja** · May 2, 2013, 11:32 PM

If the relationship than you are in now is good, why jeopardize it by getting in touch with an ex. There is a reason why she is an ex and no sense of going back, even if only to keep in touch. Once all of the contact has stopped, you move on. Unless you haven't really move on. There seem to be some what ifs in regard to your past relationship. I think by moving on too quickly after the break up, you wanted to avoid feeling the hurt but sooner or later, it catches up with you.

**Kiyama** · May 3, 2013, 12:11 AM

You don't seem to be quite over her and, on a side note, I don't think it's fair to your new gf. I can't see that going anywhere if your heart is obviously not there. Honestly, you should be madly in love in the first time and not thinking about anybody so I agree with BlackHalloween there. You should be honest with her and even consider breaking up.
With regard to your ex I would keep things as they are right now. I feel like You need to lean back and let those feelings of grief, lost love and whatever else is there out to get some closure.

**Irina_Linn** · May 3, 2013, 01:12 AM

hey i remember you! and i also remember how badly she treated you.well i gonna be in opposite camp but i dont think you still love her.when i broke up with my ex,oh god i tried contacting him so bad simply to get answers to my questions.and the moment he answered everything,felt like something switched back in me and i felt totally ignorant toward him.so maybe you want to contact her just for the sake of this info.plus u said u wanna know how she feels etc etc
however! do talk to your girl now,i would say.its really unfair to hide such things from her

**septerra** · May 3, 2013, 01:17 AM

thank you guys sooo much for responding so quickly!

Originally posted by Black_Halloween View Post

I think you're HIGHLY in denial about not having feels for your ex imo. I think you're still in love with her. Be fair to your current SO and break up so you can move on properly.

I LIKE my current girlfriend. I was never in love with my ex.. i was just infatuated.

i just feel like its cruel for me to not contact her ever again, you know?

If the relationship than you are in now is good, why jeopardize it by getting in touch with an ex. There is a reason why she is an ex and no sense of going back, even if only to keep in touch. Once all of the contact has stopped, you move on. Unless you haven't really move on. There seem to be some what ifs in regard to your past relationship. I think by moving on too quickly after the break up, you wanted to avoid feeling the hurt but sooner or later, it catches up with you.

good point.. i dont know how people can manage to contact their exes, especially with the long distance.. i was soo attracted to this girl, but she played me, and stopped caring.

i wanted love soo badly. i thought it was soo close...

hey i remember you! and i also remember how badly she treated you.well i gonna be in opposite camp but i dont think you still love her.when i broke up with my ex,oh god i tried contacting him so bad simply to get answers to my questions.and the moment he answered everything,felt like something switched back in me and i felt totally ignorant toward him.so maybe you want to contact her just for the sake of this info.plus u said u wanna know how she feels etc etc
however! do talk to your girl now,i would say.its really unfair to hide such things from her

hey there! you're right, i dont love her.. what do you mean when he finally answered you felt ignorant?

do u and your ex still communicate?

i know its unfair to hide things from her, but isnt that the best way to cope? afterall i have a girlfriend now so i basically moved on..

**LadyDaemon** · May 3, 2013, 04:15 AM

I'm going to simply put it this way and it may or may not make any sense. "In the end everything will be ok,if it's not ok it's not the end." I mean this in that you obviously have some left over unresolved feelings and some guilt about not having contact with her,the mere fact you're even thinking about her in general means you're not as ok as you think you are. It happens,I had the same thing happen to me after me and my ex girlfriend broke up the middle of last year. I thought I was ok,but in reality I had unresolved feelings with her and a part of me felt guilty because I had just cut off all contact with her after the ordeal and didn't speak to her until the end of the year. If you're not ok then it's not the end,the best thing you can do at most is contact her to say what you need to say,get the closure you need and then move on from there,once you've moved on and she doesn't even cross your mind then it's truly the end. There's no need to stay in the past with someone who obviously treated you so badly. She's in the past for a reason and needs to stay there. As for your current girlfriend,I think you might've jumped the gun and didn't deal with the ordeal before you tried to move on. I think you should tell your girlfriend what's going on,take a break and deal with everything THEN continue your relationship with her. Just my jumbled opinion lol.

**Black_Halloween** · May 3, 2013, 09:59 AM

Love...infatuation....same thing in my eyes. You don't owe this girl anything. I think the grief is just hitting you now to be honest. Listen to everybody here, break it off with this new girl and let yourself heal.

Just wanted to point out, just because you have a new girlfriend does not mean you've moved on. It means you've found yourself a rebound girl to make yourself feel better and so you can hide any pain you're feeling.

Originally posted by septerra View Post

i know its unfair to hide things from her, but isnt that the best way to cope? afterall i have a girlfriend now so i basically moved on..

**LadyDaemon** · May 3, 2013, 10:26 AM

Originally posted by Black_Halloween View Post

Love...infatuation....same thing in my eyes. You don't owe this girl anything. I think the grief is just hitting you now to be honest. Listen to everybody here, break it off with this new girl and let yourself heal.

Just wanted to point out, just because you have a new girlfriend does not mean you've moved on. It means you've found yourself a rebound girl to make yourself feel better and so you can hide any pain you're feeling.

This. All of this.

**LittleBox** · May 3, 2013, 12:34 PM

Originally posted by Black_Halloween View Post

Love...infatuation....same thing in my eyes. You don't owe this girl anything. I think the grief is just hitting you now to be honest. Listen to everybody here, break it off with this new girl and let yourself heal.

Just wanted to point out, just because you have a new girlfriend does not mean you've moved on. It means you've found yourself a rebound girl to make yourself feel better and so you can hide any pain you're feeling.

I couldn't agree more. You need to give yourself a breather to get over your ex before you even think about pursuing another relationship. You're going through a phase where you're thinking about her and it honestly isn't fair to the new girl in your life if you're subconsciously still drifting towards your ex. You haven't quite moved on yet and you need to get your head and heart in the right place before you open up your heart to another girl. My boy and I broke up about 2 weeks ago and I'm struggling with trying to remain friends with him although it has gotten a little easier I still feel the strain, my thoughts still wander and at times I still miss him. I've had a wonderful friend who has helped me through this immensely, although we've grown very close jumping right from one relationship into another wouldn't be right at this time. This is something you have assess personally. Good luck with everything

**Biddlybiddlybombop** · May 4, 2013, 06:47 AM

Originally posted by septerra View Post

Oh, and before you continue reading, I just wanna say that I DO NOT WISH TO GET BACK TOGETHER WITH MY EX.. but I'm thinking about possibly contacting her sometime in the future, just to be polite, i guess?
[/I]
soo anyways...

After the breakup, I immediately starting dating other girls. In fact, just a week after the breakup, I MET a very CUTE GIRL, and we are now a COUPLE

Now with my current girlfriend, everything is OK. I mean, this girl does everything she can to make me feel good, and she shows that she cares for me, but I still think about my ex, and how amazing it could have been, and how attractive she was, and blah blah.. (I know I need to stop thinking highly of my EX.. but)

Why do you want to contact your ex? What reason do you really have? 'Politeness' just isn't really a sufficient answer. I don't feel the need to contact my exes. Most people who are over their exes don't. And that's what makes me think that after her texting you and calling you after the break up, what you really want is to contact her because you enjoy the attention, particularly because during your actual relationship she would disappear and not talk to you for no apparent reason.

I read your threads when you posted them. I don't know why you're romanticising your relationship with her. "But I still think about my ex, how amazing it could have been". It's like you've forgotten that you were upset when she 1.) Didn't tell her parents about you 2.) Never visited you 3.) Rarely contacted you 4.) Didn't initiate 'physical affection' 5.) You felt the relationship was one sided 6.) You didn't communicate your problems with each other.

Like someone else said, just because you've got a new girlfriend doesn't necessarily mean you've moved on, and if you're still tempted to contact her, it would suggest that you're not really. Plus, being in a relationship a week after a break up, when you obviously cared a lot about this relationship, seems quite soon to me. If I were you, I would focus on the girl I have, and not fantasise about a relationship with a girl I did have, that never actually met what I wanted.

**Irina_Linn** · May 4, 2013, 07:43 AM

Originally posted by septerra View Post

hey there! you're right, i dont love her.. what do you mean when he finally answered you felt ignorant?

do u and your ex still communicate?

i know its unfair to hide things from her, but isnt that the best way to cope? afterall i have a girlfriend now so i basically moved on..

sorry it took me so long to answer

what i meant was: i had this craving interest to get answers.i wanted to know he somehow regrets he broke up.so after we spoke and he gave me honest reasons and answered all my questions,i felt really awesome.i did not feel anything towards this person,i was not interested in knowing how is he doing etc.
about communication: one of my ex is my best friend now (hahaha weird) and other still hates me i believe,so the answer is 50%

**septerra** · May 7, 2013, 05:22 AM

thanks a lot guys. ive decided that its best that i do not contact her at all. its the past. i learned a lot. theres no point in me talking to her again. its nobodys fault it just didnt work out.

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