and somehow you know he's the one...

[noodle]

I'd like to share my story

Since I typed a super huge text before but then couldnt post it cause for some reason I wasnt logged in and it got all deleted I will keep this one short and just tell the important stuff x)

Ok so my boyfriend and I have been datin for 4 months now (officially).
He's 19 (Im 18) and he lives in the States (Im in Germany).
We 'met' through one of our friends whom I've been knowin for almost 4 years now.
I've been knowin Chris (my bf) for almost 2 and back then when we started chattin etc he was still datin his ex.
We're both so in love I mostly get daily a message on facebook how much he loves me and all that cute stuff
I know he's serious cause well first he broke up with his ex, than he's the one (like 95% of the time) who messages me first or calls me on Skype.
We trust each other 100%. We also see each other via webcam as much as possible and he had days where we spend like 7-8hrs camin
And we're both pretty sure that we'll end up married, it's just a matter of time.

But as every LDR-couple we also have 1 or should I say 2 problems, actually bigger than the 4300miles that seperate us.
First of its our parents... His parents didnt want him to talk to me at first place, they think all people on the internet can't be trusted and are either hookers or sexual predators etc and they basically still don't know about us.
My parents do know about him and our relationship but they don't support it really. First of they won't ever let me go see him first and then (even tho my mum says hi to him if she gets into my room while Chris and I cam) I sometimes have to listen to stupid jokes or here them blame him for my grades gettin worse at school...
I do understand their concerns at one point, yet again it's pretty much normal nowaday that couples get to know each other over the internet.
One of my friends had a bf in NZ and they dated for 1 year untill they first met each other, than again if I ask most of my taken friends where they met their bf/gf they say internet. The only thing that differs is that their bfs/gfs live max. 1hr drive away and well mine is over on the other continent.
But well, in my opinion, love doesnt know distance. Otherwise we wouldnt have this forum here right?

Thats it from me.
If you have any questions feel free to ask
I aswell dont mind takin advice, maybe some of you have been in the same situation and could help me out a lil

[annamorgan]

well the fact that you are madly in love and totally trust each other is GREAT! As for your parents and his, over time they'll understand; as a parent, you'd be worried about online sexual predators as well. So if you just put yourself into their shoes and try to communicate effectively, your parents will most likely understand, because they love you and want to see you happy, and if he makes you happy then there shouldn't be much dilemma. Having a relationship over the internet is probably very tricky trying to get others to understand, but only you can understand what is making this relationship tick Keep your head up!

[noodle]

Thanks Anna
Yea I havent really ever tried to talk to them cause the chances I had ended up in huge arguments >_>
but I wont give up At some point they have to accept it.

[annamorgan]

You ARE a legal adult, so your decisions are up to you anyway!

[noodle]

I know Its basically what my friends tell me aswell... like "you're legal you can do what you want why dont you just go??"
but like I respect my parents a lot and they have basically always given me what I wanted (not in the spoiled way lol) and the last time my dad even threated me in some way so I got scared in some point... I do work but I dont earn enough money to get plane ticket and visa and all the other crap :/ and since they dont support me financially when it comes to that I cant just be like yo fuck you Im goin to see him, you know what I mean?
But I am plannin on workin more this year and save the money so I can go see him and stay 3 months with him after I graduate
after Im done with school they cant say anythin anyway since Im done and uni starts from 0 again ^^

[annamorgan]

hmm I guess we have different viewpoints on that hah. well at least save up money, and just play everything by ear! everything that needs to will fall into place

[LadyMarchHare]

Gorillaz fan?

A lot of Americans with children have the same idea about people on the internet, unless of course it's them using a dating site then hey they're telling the truth, which isn't true. It's because the media replays all these events and we have shows like How To Catch a Predator where the whole idea is to lure out creeps on the internet and arrest them. My mom believes the same thing, it's why I was under really psychotic supervision as far as my internet use went until I was 15. She read all my e-mails, saw every site I went to, etc. Even now she still confuses a forum with a chatroom. If your boyfriend is living at home still and he thinks telling his parents would not only have them take away the internet but even kick him out I don't think they should be told and really it's not that necessary at this point. Plus their opinion doesn't matter.

And I understand about respecting your parents. I'm 20, live at home, and though I can technically run around naked in the street if I care to, I respect my mother's opinion enough to ask for it or even ask permission still. It doesn't mean I always hold back when she says 'no' but at the very least I involved her in some way. It's good that you have a plan to see him eventually, international travel + passports +visas can be expensive and so I wish you the best of luck with it and don't give up just because you have people feeding you negative comments.

[Èternity]

Agree with LMR. Even though you are technically an adult, if you want to get things in this life you need to be able to communicate with and influence other adults in a way they understand. In short, that means getting them ok with your choices. How do you do that? Well she already has met him over the cam, which is great. Keep doing that. Keep up your grades, don't give them anything to complain about. It's easier to blame slipping grades on him that you. Make a list if you have to with what u think their concerns are and write how you are going to prove to them it's not a problem. Good luck, let us know how it is going.

[paulawriteslove]

Try not to give the parents anything to complain about

[MTK]

I would just say that you shouldn't live your life for your parents, don't do everything that they say you should. What they say to you is advice and not something that you should follow religiously, you have your own opinion. They can tell you what you can or cannot do in their house but they should in no way be able to decide who you date because that is something that is your decision and not your parents.

[noodle]

Thanks for all the replies!

I tried to make everythin as good as possible, so just as you all said, so they wouldnt have anythin to complain about but I guess I kinda forced it upon me so that it didnt work (my fault but yea doesnt matter that much right now)
But I am plannin to go see him (my 3rd attempt actually) and Im pretty sure that this time I will do it even if my parents will be against it.
But I wont give up
@LMH: yea gorillaz fan (I call him 2D and he calls me noodl)

and btw thanks everyone for the support, it feels good gettin advice/opinions/support from people who know what Im talkin about lol

[Raphaela2609]

I know how you feel. My parents are kinda.. against my LDR as well. And mine also lives on another continent, so i cant just go to him for a quick visit. I also once tried to visit my SO and i asked for permission to my parents. I tried to talk to them a few times, but they are ok if i talk to him but they dont believe in 'online love' its all fake and imaginary to them. But i give you the advice to try talking to your parents, tell alot about him. And if you want to visit him, dont just think 'oh i am already 18 i can just go, doesnt matter if they are against it'. You should show them you care about their opinion, but this is also your life. The only way they will listen to you and respect your opinion and choices is when you think wisely about your choices and dont act like a little kid. Just teach them you are not 5 years anymore and they can not decide for you anymore, you make your own choices and you will make the right ones.
I must say, it all sounds so easy when you write it, but i still have problems with my parents *sigh* and i am almost 20.
Glück mit deinen Eltern! :P

[noodle]

Yeah I know!
Yea people ask me why he isnt comin over cause he's like you almost 20 but yea as LMH already said, different countries/continents, different culture and basically way of thinkin etc
We'll see how it goes tho
Maybe we can go on a trip together Raphaela xD Where is your bf?

[Raphaela2609]

Yeah I know!
Yea people ask me why he isnt comin over cause he's like you almost 20 but yea as LMH already said, different countries/continents, different culture and basically way of thinkin etc
We'll see how it goes tho
Maybe we can go on a trip together Raphaela xD Where is your bf?

Yeah exactly :/ people here also expect him to come to me, but it is much more work for him with visa and stuff. If i am right yours lives in the US right? well mine in South america, so I dont think we can go together

[noodle]

yea mine is in the states :/
yea I know, I have to do the whole Visa stuff aswell yet it would be easier for me to go see him... and in the end, honestly me as bein a travel addict I'd prefer goin to see him, but people dont understand :/