Need advice or help..

[sinneroid]

I got a gf from facebook and we are more than a month now. But suddenly these past days she doesn't say any sweet things or love words anymore. I notice it and she said that she still love me but not like before anymore. We are still in a relationship so please help me what to do..
We always meet at least once or sometimes twice a week..
We are always texting each other so I thought she might gone bored always talking so now I made it shorter.. Is that enough?
Her father recently died. Is there a connection on it?
Thank you in advance.

[Hollandia]

I got a gf from facebook and we are more than a month now. But suddenly these past days she doesn't say any sweet things or love words anymore. I notice it and she said that she still love me but not like before anymore. We are still in a relationship so please help me what to do..
We always meet at least once or sometimes twice a week..
We are always texting each other so I thought she might gone bored always talking so now I made it shorter.. Is that enough?
Her father recently died. Is there a connection on it?
Thank you in advance.

When my dad died I was a wreck for over a year. I did things I would never have done. She could just be pissed at life. She could feel she does not deserve to be happy right now. The loss of a loved one is very powerful. She might just need some space. There are a million reasons why and one month is not that long for her put that first at this point in her life where she might feel overwhelming sadness and just does not want to reach out in that direction. We all deal with grief in different ways. There are 5 stages of it and each one can take any amount of time as it takes to work through. My cousin was a disaster for 2 years and almost left her husband when she lost her dad at the age of 28. I think it played a big part on my ending things with my ex too. Death causes some of us to take a look at our life and the only thing I can suggest is let her know you are there for her if she needs or wants it and that you respect her time to grieve and space if that is what she needs.

I know this is painful to you but she is most likely going through enormous emotional moods swings right now. I hope when she is ready you can be there waiting for the person you fell for to come back to you. It is up to you if you can handle what she is going through and possible she might never be quite that person. I am not and neither is my cousin. Some scars heal better than others and some people heal differently and/or faster than others. My heart goes out to her and you.

[sinneroid]

I went to her place to talk with her.. i told her my feelings, my worries. i even explained about relationship getting low in a period of time. I even asked what she thinks and what she feels. I asked if she have problems. I said that I would always be there for her. She only answered with nods and shake of her head in my questions.. I tried to lighten things up playing games together and joke around. She did smile sometimes. I gave her a love letter and a bottle of wishes for her.. In the end she refuses to hug me. I still hug her for a second though and then we wave goodbye to each other. After that till now she haven't txt anything. still I'm afraid she would break up with me.
is there really no more hope?

[Hollandia]

I went to her place to talk with her.. i told her my feelings, my worries. i even explained about relationship getting low in a period of time. I even asked what she thinks and what she feels. I asked if she have problems. I said that I would always be there for her. She only answered with nods and shake of her head in my questions.. I tried to lighten things up playing games together and joke around. She did smile sometimes. I gave her a love letter and a bottle of wishes for her.. In the end she refuses to hug me. I still hug her for a second though and then we wave goodbye to each other. After that till now she haven't txt anything. still I'm afraid she would break up with me.
is there really no more hope?

If she is hurting you need to be patient and just give her time. You have told her you are there for her, now she has to work through her emotions about her loss and at some point you. I would not push her or you could just push her away. If it is meant to be it shall be... If you love something set it free if it was meant to be it will come back to you really does ring true. It is possible she is thinking about a break-up but only she can answer that question perhaps when she decides it. She has not come out and told you that so for now you can only make assumptions and I think I would find a new hobby to kill time and try not to torture yourself over it because she is basically telling you she wants space. I hope it all works out for you as you want but it can take a long time and you have to decide if you are willing to wait.

[sinneroid]

thank you for your advice. I'll just wait then.. should I txt her or just wait till she contact me again?

[Hollandia]

thank you for your advice. I'll just wait then.. should I txt her or just wait till she contact me again?

I can only suggest that you don't push her or smother her. I would give her a few days and send a text and see how she reacts.

[ThePiedPiper]

My ex broke up with me after his mother died until he came to terms with it. Losing a parent shatters your entire world and turns it upside down. I would advise trying your damndest to stop thinking about you and your relationship long enough to consider her for a change. Don't let "I will be there for you" conversations come with strings attached (relationship questions). Back off and let her come to you. That's what I can suggest for you with the point that this relationship is at.

[Hollandia]

My ex broke up with me after his mother died until he came to terms with it. Losing a parent shatters your entire world and turns it upside down. I would advise trying your damndest to stop thinking about you and your relationship long enough to consider her for a change. Don't let "I will be there for you" conversations come with strings attached (relationship questions). Back off and let her come to you. That's what I can suggest for you with the point that this relationship is at.

Well said Piper, this is what I was trying to convey but could not quite figure out how to get it across.

[ThePiedPiper]

Well said Piper, this is what I was trying to convey but could not quite figure out how to get it across.

Honestly I think you got it across beautifully and with a lot of honesty that I, having not lost a parent, could not even begin to fathom on an emotional level.

[sinneroid]

Thanks for the advice from the two of you. I'll try not to txt her for a few days.. But how long it should be? Would she think that i don't care anymore on her?

[JoeyBug]

My ex broke up with me after his mother died until he came to terms with it. Losing a parent shatters your entire world and turns it upside down. I would advise trying your damndest to stop thinking about you and your relationship long enough to consider her for a change. Don't let "I will be there for you" conversations come with strings attached (relationship questions). Back off and let her come to you. That's what I can suggest for you with the point that this relationship is at.

^^ I agree with both Piper and Hollandia you need to give her time and space.

[sinneroid]

^^ I agree with both Piper and Hollandia you need to give her time and space.

Thanks for the advice from the all of you. I'm doing it now and she's not texting for two days already.. But how long it should be? When should I text her? Would she think that i don't care anymore on her?

[chizatlauren]

Hi sinneroid, looks like we live in the same place?

Anyway, I think you should just wait it out for a while. Don't give yourself an exact period of time, but just wait. Losing a loved one can be stressful, but try to text her once in a while (maybe once a week?) just to tell her that you're still there for her and if she needs you you'll always be there. If things still don't work out, then maybe it's time to move on.

[ThePiedPiper]

Thanks for the advice from the all of you. I'm doing it now and she's not texting for two days already.. But how long it should be? When should I text her? Would she think that i don't care anymore on her?

Drop her the occasional message saying "hey, thinking of you. I love you. I'm here for you." Other than that, let her come to you. It's a conflicting time and I wouldn't expect anyone who's never lost someone close to completely understand, but you need to let her deal with the range of emotions (or even lack of emotions) she's going through right now. Maybe you could put some of your energy into researching grief? Contacting grief support groups in your area and asking how you can be of help to her? etc.

[sinneroid]

Hi sinneroid, looks like we live in the same place?

Anyway, I think you should just wait it out for a while. Don't give yourself an exact period of time, but just wait. Losing a loved one can be stressful, but try to text her once in a while (maybe once a week?) just to tell her that you're still there for her and if she needs you you'll always be there. If things still don't work out, then maybe it's time to move on.

haha.. yeah probably you're just nearby.. thanks for your advice.. i really love this girl so much.. I really wish our relationship still works