Feeling Depressed

[M&S11712]

Hello, my name is Samantha and this is my first post on this website. I have been in my long distance relationship for 6 months. Right now today and yesterday have been very hard for my boyfriend, Miguel, and I. Yesterday we were talking about him graduating in 3 weeks, him going to a soccer camp to coach and him starting work after that until he goes off to college. Its difficult. I'm scared of the reality that's coming. Another issue today is that my father is not allowing me to go down for his graduation. It really upsets me because I feel like I need to be there for him and if I'm not what if another girl is? That's all that's been running through my head today. If you read this, thank you, I really appreciate it.

[lyonsgirl]

Hello, my name is Samantha and this is my first post on this website. I have been in my long distance relationship for 6 months. Right now today and yesterday have been very hard for my boyfriend, Miguel, and I. Yesterday we were talking about him graduating in 3 weeks, him going to a soccer camp to coach and him starting work after that until he goes off to college. Its difficult. I'm scared of the reality that's coming. Another issue today is that my father is not allowing me to go down for his graduation. It really upsets me because I feel like I need to be there for him and if I'm not what if another girl is? That's all that's been running through my head today. If you read this, thank you, I really appreciate it.

First: welcome to LFAD.
2nd: how did you meet?
3rd: how old are you? your ticker says 17. If that's true, I'm guessing your SO is 17 or 18, about to graduate from high school. I'm sorry to tell you this, but, for as long as someone can claim you as a "dependent" on their tax forms, your parents will have some say in your life. Heck, even after that they like to think they can - but until you are fully supporting yourself, they actually have some say in the matter.

[garnet]

Welcome! If Miguel is the right guy for you, there wont be another girl. If there was, honestly, you are better off without him. I know that sucks to hear, but it's true. Have you guys talked about your relationship? What makes you worried about graduation if you've already been LD for 6 months? Hopefully this just your worry in over drive. It happens to all of us!

[ST25]

Hello there! First off, welcome to LFAD. About your worries, it's pretty normal to wonder about things like that during the first few days apart. But really, it comes down to just believing the best in him. Do you know him as the flirtatious type?

If he falls for another girl, then...it happens, you know? It just means that he isn't the one for you. But don't go to that conclusion just yet because it hasn't happened, right? And as for the graduation, maybe he could arrange for someone to video tape the event and send it to you so you could see it?

[aniay]

Welcome! If Miguel is the right guy for you, there wont be another girl. If there was, honestly, you are better off without him. I know that sucks to hear, but it's true. Have you guys talked about your relationship? What makes you worried about graduation if you've already been LD for 6 months? Hopefully this just your worry in over drive. It happens to all of us!

Agree on that... And being 17 sucks quite a lot worry-wise so I wish you strength. Saddly I agree that your parents has a lot to say but maybe If you took a friend with you, maybe your parents would be more open to letting you go. (I know mine were when I was traveling with my brother)

[Chris516]

Hello, my name is Samantha and this is my first post on this website. I have been in my long distance relationship for 6 months. Right now today and yesterday have been very hard for my boyfriend, Miguel, and I. Yesterday we were talking about him graduating in 3 weeks, him going to a soccer camp to coach and him starting work after that until he goes off to college. Its difficult. I'm scared of the reality that's coming. Another issue today is that my father is not allowing me to go down for his graduation. It really upsets me because I feel like I need to be there for him and if I'm not what if another girl is? That's all that's been running through my head today. If you read this, thank you, I really appreciate it.

Are you worried, that he will cheat on you? If he is 100% committed, he won't look at, think about, touch another girl. Apart from his level of commitment, is your level of worry. You are on the (japanese) Bullet Train labeled 'WORRY', and it is going at high speed. Do you even feel you can trust him for that one day, if you are not there? I can see why, your father is not allowing you to go down there for Miguel's graduation. Because your father is being protective. Your father doesn't want you to get physically hurt. Seeing your age in your profile, Natalie Holloway who went missing on the island of Aruba was close to your age. So, I am inclined to agree with your father.

[Hollandia]

Hello, my name is Samantha and this is my first post on this website. I have been in my long distance relationship for 6 months. Right now today and yesterday have been very hard for my boyfriend, Miguel, and I. Yesterday we were talking about him graduating in 3 weeks, him going to a soccer camp to coach and him starting work after that until he goes off to college. Its difficult. I'm scared of the reality that's coming. Another issue today is that my father is not allowing me to go down for his graduation. It really upsets me because I feel like I need to be there for him and if I'm not what if another girl is? That's all that's been running through my head today. If you read this, thank you, I really appreciate it.

What reality are you scared of? Long distance relationship? It is hard but if you two love each other you will make it work. If you think he will just find another girl if you are not there, then he does not love you enough and he is not the right one for you. In any relationship trust is important but in a LDR, it is a absolute necessity or it will not work.

Your dad is just looking out for your well being and I agree unless you could get his parents to agree to be responsible for your safety you are a minor. What does your SO say about the matter? Did he tell you he wanted you to come and offer you a way to do it? Can he ask his parents to speak with your dad?

[Jazi]

I agree with what everyone else has said. You can't 'guarantee' him to be forever yours if you attend his graduation.. if he wanted to be with other girls he would find a way.. and it wouldn't have anything to do with you going to his graduation or not. You need to realise that if he LOVES you then he will only want you to be at the graduation and if you can't be he will understand.

The saying “If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always yours. If they don't, they never were.” really comes to mind for your situation, you need to trust that things will work out the best for you - trust your relationship, trust yourself and your SO.. and if something happens that means it won't work out between you two.. well then he wasn't THE ONE.. and you will find the one for you.

Take a deep breath and relax, you won't get anywhere without trust

[lyonsgirl]

Are you worried, that he will cheat on you? If he is 100% committed, he won't look at, think about, touch another girl. Apart from his level of commitment, is your level of worry. You are on the (japanese) Bullet Train labeled 'WORRY', and it is going at high speed. Do you even feel you can trust him for that one day, if you are not there? I can see why, your father is not allowing you to go down there for Miguel's graduation. Because your father is being protective. Your father doesn't want you to get physically hurt. Seeing your age in your profile, Natalie Holloway who went missing on the island of Aruba was close to your age. So, I am inclined to agree with your father.

I have no idea why you brought up Miss Holloway, as it isn't even close to being related to the OP. I mean, if you want to bring people getting abducted/killed, why not mention the women who were just found in Cleveland? I mean, they were kidnapped when they were about her age. But they were taken from their own neighborhoods.

[dukes2011]

Welcome! If Miguel is the right guy for you, there wont be another girl. If there was, honestly, you are better off without him. I know that sucks to hear, but it's true. Have you guys talked about your relationship? What makes you worried about graduation if you've already been LD for 6 months? Hopefully this just your worry in over drive. It happens to all of us!

Pretty much all of this! If you are worried about there being another girl, then he's not the best person to be with. I think it's just worry put into overdrive because that tends to happen around times of transition. When my SO and I graduated college we had to adjust to the changes and same thing with when I went away to grad school. All LDRs go through transitions and you get through them. You have good days and bad days. This forum is a great place to find support for those rough days, but we love to hear about the good ones too! If you have been LD for 6 months and you're going strong that says a lot about both of you. You are committed to each other and the relationship!

[M&S11712]

thank you! Yesterday we talked everything out, it was just me with all the crazy worries and I hope things stay good between us. Since I cannot attend his graduation my friend said she is going to be there for her boyfriend so she is going to skype me when he's about to go get his diploma! It's better than nothing and I plan on taking either a bus or train down the following week to see him for our 7months!