i don't know about you guys, but my boyfriend has one annoying best friend. he's cool and everything as a person, but he is extremely clingy and cannot even let my boyfriend have a few minutes to talk to me on the phone! he doesn't think we should be dating long distance because it's too much commitment or whatever (he's kind of a skirt-chaser) and seems to have an opinion on everything regarding the relationship my boyfriend and i share (or are trying to!!!!). i just want him to MIND HIS OWN BUSINESS, the dang neanderthal! anyone else have this issue? what did/do you do about it??
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That sounds a bit like a guy friend my boyfriend has. The guy's about my age and they only know each other online and because of an abusive relationship he ended up with a personality that needs ego-feeding, meaning everyone has to like him and baby him otherwise he throws a temper tantrum. We both think this guy is closet-humping to the idea of my boyfriend and he even tried setting me up with a classmate of his from my city. I've told him off several times because, frankly, stupidity and childish behavior does not fly with me and now he hates me. My SO's fine with that since he kinda hates the guy too, he just has a big brother complex.
Does your guy know you don't like his friend, has he said anything to this guy about his nosing around? Because really even if they were related it's YOUR relationship and he doesn't get to be privy to every detail or offer unwanted advice or his opinion. If your guy doesn't know, I think telling him might be a good idea and to ask he try to get him to back off. Since he isn't your friend it's not your place to tell him where to shove his opinions, unfortunately. If he doesn't let up I think the friendship needs to end or be distanced because while friends can have differing opinions, practically harassing your friend and acting like they're entitled to your opinion does not make you much of a friend, much less a good one. -
yeah, my boyfriend knows, and it bothers him too. but my boyfriend also feels bad for him because he doesn't have many other real friends. my boyfriend's tried telling him to stop and everything, but this guy is pretty obnoxious. hopefully at some point he'll get bored of meddling in our business! the thing is, though, that these guys have been best friends and bandmates for more than three years; they're like brothers, and they live together. i just need his friend to understand that what he's doing is childish and totally inappropriate. thanks for your input!Originally posted by LadyMarchHare View Post
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I've been friends with a girl for 9 years, I consider her a sister, and I've told her on numerous occasions to shut up when she badmouths my SO. The pity thing can only go so far with friends, even if you're as close as can be because even brothers feel like hitting each other and tell each other off. It's more than likely because of that behavior he doesn't have many friends since that's not really an attractive quality. Maybe a more strict way of reasoning would work such as if the guy mentions the relationship or you, your boyfriend stops talking to him for x amount of minutes or plays deaf. It'll annoy him but it might get the point across if a "hey please butt out" didn't.Comment
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I don't have this problem but Sean did with a rl friend no less. He sat said rl friend down and told him exactly what I meant to him. Now rl friend wants to meet me and things are cool. When he wakes up I'll have him come here and posty, maybe he can hit some of his high points for you, it might help.Comment
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Hm, my boyfriend's friends are really supportive of us. I've even met them and think they're chill. I think that you should talk to your SO and tell him how this is making you feel.
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My boyfriend has the same sorta friend! .. Me & my boyfriend met for the 1st time last month & the day before i came his friend txd him saying he was coming to collect all his stuff from my boyfriends house & the friendship was over. I asked if it was over me coming but he said he didnt know what was wrong with him. my boyfriends mum said the friends probably jealous. Me & this friend use to talk then my boyfriend told me his friend called up & said for him to stay away from me! i was like you 2faced loser! & now we cant stand each other. My boyfriend also told me the friend calls him up & asks if he wants to go & meet girls with him & if he wants to have sex with them. im like WOW! I dont really want him around but ill have to put up with it. They started talking about 2/3weeks ago but my boyfriend says they've not hung out since.♥ Sarah Louiise ♥Comment
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Well, I'm not too sure how to handle this type of thing. When my friend had a problem with me and Tracy, I talked to him for a while and let him know for sure, beyond any doubts, how I felt about her.
His worry was that I might get hurt by it, but when he discovered how deeply I felt, he wanted to throw all his good wishes behind me. His concerns were mostly that I wasn't ready for a relationship, but I fixed that when he started talking to me about it and he knew how I felt from the way I was talking. I know not everyone has friends like that, but it feels nice to have friends supporting me.
As for how to deal with this friend that your bf has? I'm not exactly a big fan of the subtle approach. I suggest standing side by side and confronting this guy, telling him in no uncertain terms that if he can't be happy for his friend and you being together, then he can just kindly shove off and leave the two of you alone. Relationships don't need the kind of stress that friends being bitter and negative about you and your SO spending whatever time together can cause.
If that doesn't work, set him up with somebody that will keep him busy all the time so that he can't be in your business all the time, or get him a hobby, a job that will keep him away, anything to get him out of your business. Because the relationship between you and your bf is just that; yours, not his. He doesn't have any right to be meddling or getting his nose into every detail, so he should just shove off.
If fixing his perception of your relationship doesn't work, then maybe he isn't as cool, or as much of a friend as he's thought to be. Friends should be supportive first and protective second.Comment
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Ive never been in this situation before & its hard : ( .. I hate his friend so much .. But i live 5500 mils away so have no control over the situation : (♥ Sarah Louiise ♥Comment
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