Ignorance is bliss?

[XxFranticLovexX]

I just asked my so if he would lie and tell me that he was going somewhere else or if he would tell me where he was actually going. His response was "I would just tell you.. because you would probably want to tag along anyway if you could".. lol. So, apparently he would just tell me the truth, but to be honest, it's just a strip club and as long as he knows the boundaries that I have for things and respects those then I have no issue with him going.

[arrah5]

I would rather know, and I agree with a previous poster, the cousin is shady! If my SO came to me and said they were going to a strip club, I too would ask to go! I love strip clubs, and always have a blast. My SO's ex didnt like him going to them so hes only been to a strip club 3 times in his life... I feel bad that I have been to the clubs so many more times than he has. But I know that when I go, its different for a woman than for a man. Men cant touch, they get boobies in their face if they pay for the show, and private dances for a man are almost twice what it costs for a female. I might enjoy the clubs, but I know who I am going home with, and its certainly not the woman that just put her boobies in the faces of hundreds of men that night! I know plenty of men that go, get turned on, and then come home to their loving wives, girlfriends, SO's, and have a great time with them.

[Dezface]

My last relationship was built on ignorance being bliss. I refused to see all the things that were right in front of me, because it was less painful to pretend they weren't happening. Never, ever, again. I don't want my SO to lie to me about anything, whether small or big. That's not to say I need to know everything. Like some of the situations mentioned above...if he's having raunchy dreams, I don't need to know about it. But if I ask him a question, I need the truth. And I expect him to always be up front with me if there's something I need to know.

[Arrow]

I would prefer an ugly truth to a beautiful lie.

[TwoThree]

Truth always comes out, eventually.

[Jess!]

I think if people start hiding such small things, they will start to hide others....
I feel this with my parents, which are "separated", and I think if you are just honest with each other nothing can go wrong.See, he told you, you were okay with it. If he didn't told you, you'd eventually find out. It is better to be always honest even in small things than to hide it.

Also, I asked my partner to always update me about his ex, when for example, she writes him. Of course this killed me and we agreed we'd only talk about our ex's when we felt it was important or like one of them wanted to meet. Here ignorance is actually a bliss.... (when partners have nothing to hide, sure:P)

[JoeyBug]

I agree with the people who are saying that they'd rather know. I certainly would prefer for these things to be out in the open and have no problem with it..ignorance is not bliss, especially not in a close relationship such as the one between partners.

[digitalfever]

I don't think that honesty has much to do with the success or failure of a relationship. I think the measurement and the value a partner places on honesty affects the success or failure of a relationship and the degree in which one can accept honesty. My thinking is that most people want you to be honest but most of the time it falls under "the truth you can't handle the truth!" In the case of strip clubs I think many men would prefer to not deal with the insecurities, drama and accusations that surround going. I could understand why so many men just prefer to not say anything. If you go to websites like WeddingBee you see women up in arms or near calling off the wedding if the groom gets a stripper or goes to a strip club. So..., it's something I think individually many people inflict upon themselves. If you want honesty then you have to understand that just because you don't like something doesn't mean the other person has to listen to you.

But... I just don't care. I don't tell my SO everything because I'm entitled to privacy and to have hobbies that he doesn't know about and vice versa. I'm not saying that going to a strip club is a hobby buy I'm saying that being in a relationship doesn't mean that you are stripped of the right to be an individual.