Dealing with Nay-Sayers...

[ZenZeta]

I will preface this by saying that I know people MEAN well, but sometimes I wish folks would just keep their opinions to themselves.

When you're happy, you want to share your bliss. Unfortunately, I shared with the wrong person. I learned a valuable lesson last night: share my bliss HERE where people understand.

Sometimes its challenging to hear people say "Be careful... when the cat is away the mouse will play... He works at ___ job..." Though this is good advice (even in a non LDR), it still plants doubt and reinforces those hidden fears that creep up from time to time.

Thankfully, I shared the conversation with my SO, and he eased my fears. One thing this LDR is teaching me is the value of communication whether its good or bad.

So... this made me wonder: How do you deal with "Negative Nellies?"

[snow_girl]

ignore them.

[LadyDaemon]

I tend to attempt to ignore them. However,if they begin to get to a level that is obnoxious and/or disrespectful I tend to draw claws. I understand the whole "they're just looking out for you" thing,but really,I'm a grown adult and I can deal with it on my own. Not to mention I have enough doubt at times by myself,I don't need anyone helping me.

[Jazi]

I ignore them too. I also share details about my relationship with only those I'm closest to.

I'm engaged to my SO and it's quite obvious that I'm wearing an engagement ring. I've had some questions and comments from co-workers and I just brush past it as fast as possible if they are being judgemental. I'm not going to hide/lie about my relationship and expect that there will be judgey wudgeys about it, just handle it in the moment and move on, ultimately it doesn't effect you what other people think.

[katiecat08]

I haven't had anyone tell me something of that caliber yet but I know my mom keeps trying to predict our future by saying, what if he loves it as his new job and decides to stay? I've already confessed this fear to my SO and he said that'll never happen so I'm trusting him and believing him.

[JoeyBug]

I tend to attempt to ignore them. However,if they begin to get to a level that is obnoxious and/or disrespectful I tend to draw claws. I understand the whole "they're just looking out for you" thing,but really,I'm a grown adult and I can deal with it on my own. Not to mention I have enough doubt at times by myself,I don't need anyone helping me.

^^^ This, I try to ignore them, and with some of them, just start to avoid contact, but with others, like my mother, I can't do that so try to just reassert that I am an adult and I will do what is right for me. It's my heart to break and although I know she means well, I know that my SO is not who she thinks he is.

[Captivated]

I was, and still am, a pretty private person. Well except for Facebook :P But for the most part, I'd ignore them as well. If they made a stupid comment, I'd change the subject.

[ThePiedPiper]

I feel like the big thing is to do your best to treat your relationship like it isn't a big deal. Treat it like it's an everyday relationship and people around you will eventually begin to treat it the same way. I found that if people brought up cheating, I would simply respond by saying that we're aware of what could happen but we trust one another. If they continue, I have said that if it turns out to be a mistake, it turns out to be a mistake, but it's mine to make. It's assertive but also taking away their ability to argue with you. If they try to continue, tell them you appreciate and respect their opinion but they aren't going to change your mind so arguing about it won't help and then either walk away or change the subject.